Can You Be a Surrogate if You Are Absolutely Against Termination?

If you didn’t already know, gestational surrogacy often involves complicated medical procedures. Selective reduction and termination of embryos can frequently be a part of the medical process.

But, what if you are wholeheartedly against the termination of embryos? Can you still be a surrogate and help create a family?

It’s a bit complicated. We encourage any prospective surrogate in this situation to call our specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) for more information. They will discuss with you the possibilities of surrogacy without these procedures and help you determine whether it’s really the right path for you.

In the meantime, learn more about the basics of this kind of journey below.

Can You Be a Surrogate if You are Against Termination and Selective Reduction?

While selective reduction and termination is possible in any given gestational surrogacy journey, these procedures aren’t necessarily completed in every medical process. So, if you are considering being a surrogate — but you’re completely against any kind of termination or selective reduction — there may be a path ahead for you.

The majority of intended parents want a pregnancy with the best chance of success. That often includes accepting the possibility of selective reduction or termination, especially if a fetus develops abnormally or has a condition that makes life outside of the womb impossible. To have the best chance at a healthy child, these intended parents determine exactly in which situations they are comfortable using these procedures.

If you’re a surrogate, you’ll have a say in these situations, as well. If you know you will never be comfortable with termination or selective reduction in any situation, it’s a good idea to speak with a surrogacy professional soon. They can determine whether or not there is a path available for you.

How Your Views May Affect Your Wait for a Match

The good news is that there are intended parents out there who share your views — who are totally against selective reduction and termination, no matter what.

The bad news? It will likely take you much longer to match with intended parents with these views, as they are rare to find.

As mentioned above, many intended parents recognize the important purpose that selective reduction and termination can play in the surrogacy process. While they may be open to creating a contract that details situations in which neither of these procedures may be used, they may be more hesitant to match with a surrogate who is dead-set against both procedures, no matter the circumstances — just in case of the worst.

If you are 100 percent against selective reduction and termination, regardless of the circumstances, it’s important to be honest with your surrogacy professional (and intended parents) from the start. Only that way will you find a partner who shares your views. Your surrogacy professional might have to expand the search beyond their network, or you may find better luck searching for intended parents independently.

Therefore, talking to a surrogacy professional is the best way to learn what to expect from this kind of journey.

How to Protect Your Beliefs and Rights During the Process

Remember: As a surrogate, you are an active participant in the surrogacy process. You should never feel forced into a journey you are uncomfortable with, which means you should clearly identify all of your needs and preferences — not just your thoughts on selective reduction and termination.

However, your opinions on these procedures can make a big difference in the journey ahead of you.

There are two main ways you can ensure your beliefs and rights are respected when you become a surrogate:

  1. Be honest about your desires. The last thing any intended parent or surrogate wants is to enter a surrogacy agreement under pretense. You may feel that agreeing to these procedures in certain circumstances is fine; you may doubt that situation ever comes to be, and your beliefs won’t be tested. But, this is a terrible thing to do. What would you do if that situation were to occur? You would need to adhere to your contract, which means following through with a procedure you believe to be wrong. Save yourself and the intended parents the heartache by being honest about your desires from the beginning — even if it means you’ll wait longer for a match.
  2. Don’t let a professional force you into a decision you’re uncomfortable with. As a surrogate, you always have the right to work with the professional you feel is right for you. So, don’t let a professional try to change your mind on selective reduction or termination if you have strong contrary beliefs. They may try to sway you with shorter wait times or try to convince you that you will never find a match with these requirements, but stand strong. After all, is it worth pursuing a surrogacy journey that you will be unhappy with and ashamed of?

We know selective reduction and termination can be a sensitive topic in any surrogacy journey. That’s why we encourage you to contact our specialists anytime for more information. They can help you understand the logistics of your decision and choose the path that is best for your desires moving forward.

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