Category: Children Born Via Surrogacy

The holiday season is finally here. We know that you’re more than a little excited to celebrate with your loved ones and the newest member of your family.

But when you’ve just bought your baby home through surrogacy, you might be unsure of how to incorporate your unique story into your annual holiday traditions.

Below are 10 ways that you can do just that.

1. Send a holiday greeting card.

If it’s been a bit since you’ve reached out to your surrogate or agency, you might think about sending them a nice holiday card. They would love to hear about how you’ve been since the end of your surrogacy journey and about your plans for the holidays. Don’t forget to include a picture of your beautiful family for them to see!

2. Show your appreciation during Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is the perfect time to reach out to someone you’re thinking of — especially your surrogate.

There are a ton of ways that you can celebrate them during the busy Thanksgiving season. You might send them a card, spend some time together over a video chat or a phone call, or even just give thanks for them during your Thanksgiving dinner.

Let them know that you’re always thinking of them, and remind them of how much you appreciate their decision to help your family. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box if you’re looking for other ways to show your appreciation!

3. Look back on your surrogate baby book.

A memory book is a great way to keep track of the surrogacy journey. If you made one during the process, now would be an amazing time to look back on how far you’ve come. You might even add some new pictures to your book to remind you of the great times you had during this holiday season.

4. Add a sentimental ornament.

Surrogacy will impact your life many years to come. To commemorate this special journey, why not add a sentimental ornament to your Christmas tree? You might pick an ornament that has your child’s birth date on it or the date of their expected arrival. Take a look at Etsy and Pinterest for some really cool ideas.

5. Gift a book about surrogacy.

The best thing about Christmas and Hannukah is giving and receiving, and who doesn’t love getting books during the holiday? There are a ton of books available about that go in-depth about surrogacy for intended parents, surrogates, children and anyone else who may be curious about what the process is really like.

If you know someone who’s thinking about starting their own surrogacy journey, is in the middle of their journey or already has children through surrogacy, a book is a great holiday gift option.

6. Think about your favorite childhood traditions.

Of all the traditions you had as a child, was there anything that you especially loved? You can recreate them with your child’s surrogacy story in mind. For example, if you had a ton of fun making holiday cookies with your loved ones, you can do the same with your child. Make sure to send some of those goodies to your surrogate with a sweet note!

7. Honor the surrogacy journey.

The holidays are a perfect time to look at the past and feel grateful for everything that we have. Take a moment during this busy season to explain to your child how thankful you are for the surrogacy journey. Talk about how thankful you are that you and your child were brought together by surrogacy and remind your child of how special they are.

8. Plan a new holiday celebration together.

You may already have tons of holiday traditions, but what about something new that’s just focused on surrogacy? You could read a book about surrogacy together, or you could set aside some time during your holiday celebrations to talk with your surrogate or your surrogacy specialist.

9. Watch a positive movie about surrogacy.

We love relaxing on the couch and watching a movie with our family during the holiday season. Although not every surrogacy movie gets the process right, there are some that are worth checking out, like A Belly for Me, A Baby for You and The Guys Next Door.

10. Read a book together about surrogacy.

There are tons of books about the surrogacy process that you can read together with your child, even when they’re young. Some are told from the perspective of a child, so your child will have an age-appropriate explanation for what the surrogacy process is really like and an easier time connecting with the story.

If you’re looking for something geared toward adults, there are plenty of books that you might consider checking out.

How Will You Celebrate?

The holidays are some of the best times of the year. If you’ve been looking for some great ways to celebrate your surrogacy story, then we hope this blog gave you some new ideas.

Need some more? Reach out to your surrogacy specialist anytime for suggestions.

Having a child via surrogacy doesn’t mean you have to miss out on all the experiences of pregnancy and childbearing. In fact, one of the most popular topics for intended parents is breastfeeding and breast milk.

That’s right — even if your child is born via surrogate, they can still reap the benefits of breast milk. Some intended parents accomplish this through inducing lactation, while others turn to donated breast milk.

In honor of August being National Breastfeeding Month, we’ve compiled this guide for intended parents. Below, learn more about what donated breast milk is, how it works and how you can safely procure some for your child.

Please note: None of the information in this article is intended to be or should be taken as medical advice. If you are interested in the advantages and disadvantages of donated breast milk, please speak to your pediatrician first.

How Does Donated Breast Milk Work?

While breastfeeding can be difficult for many women, just as many women find themselves with milk to spare. After pumping more milk than their babies can eat, these women choose to donate their milk to those infants in need — typically, premature or sick infants who are in the NICU until they are strong enough to go home.

Women who donate breast milk must go through several screening steps prior to being accepted by a milk bank. This ensures that she is healthy and that her breast milk is of a high-enough quality to be donating. After her milk is received by the bank, it is screened, tested and pasteurized before being distributed to parents in need.

Where Can I Get Donated Breast Milk?

There are two paths to obtaining donated breast milk: formally and informally. The safest path is the former; if your child is eligible for donated breast milk in the hospital, your doctor will explain the protocols and requirements.

Most hospitals reserve donated breast milk for those infants in most need of it (those with special medical conditions). However, some may have a supply of “compassionate use” breast milk, reserved for those mothers who cannot adequately feed their babies on their own but aren’t high on the priority list.

You might also purchase breast milk from milk banks, like Medolac, Prolacta and the International Milk Bank. In order to buy from either a non-profit or for-profit milk bank, you’ll need to get a prescription from your doctor. And, like with hospital supplies, milk bank supplies are on a needs-based system; those with sick or premature infants are higher on the list than those parents with healthy babies.

Why is Informal Milk Sharing a Bad Idea?

In your search for donated milk, you may come across communities or collectives of mothers sharing breast milk. Because these sources are not licensed or regulated, you don’t need a prescription to purchase the breast milk — but you open yourself up to many risks.

Unlike breast milk donated through official banks and hospitals, milk obtained through informal sharing is often not screened or tested. There is no quality control, which means there are no standards for milk being shared. Sometimes, those selling milk mix their supply with cow’s milk or other sources without telling the buyer.

Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Food and Drug Administration advise against informal milk sharing. While the benefits of breast milk can be tempting, it’s not worth the risk of obtaining through unregulated means.

What are My Options for a Child Born Via Surrogacy?

If you are having a child via surrogacy, the first thing you should do is talk to your pediatrician. They can explain your options for feeding your child after they are born, as well as the differences between formula-feeding and breastmilk-feeding.

If you strongly believe in feeding your child breast milk, talk to your hospital about the options for donated breast milk. Remember that healthy infants are at the bottom of the waiting list, so be prepared to feed your child formula when breast milk is not available. If you are ready for the commitment and can plan far enough in advance, you might consider inducing lactation to breastfeed your child yourself.

Keep in mind that many parents feed their children formula. Some mothers have a difficult time producing enough milk for their children, while others don’t have the time to commit to long-term breastfeeding. Formula-feeding does not mean you’re a bad parent, and it does not mean that you’ve failed your child in any way. While there are proven benefits of breast milk, children fed formula are just as healthy. They are many great alternatives to breast milk out there, so talk to your pediatrician for suggestions and advice.

When your surrogate finally gives birth to a healthy baby girl or boy, you’ll want to shout the news from the rooftops. With baby announcements already drawn up and birth and newborn photos already taken, you’re ready to send those papers out to family, friends and even the slightest of acquaintances.

But hold on one second — announcements of children born via surrogacy deserve a little extra attention. While surrogacy doesn’t make you any less of a parent than if you had carried your baby yourself, it is a special process that you should celebrate in your announcements. But how?

You may have never seen a baby-born-via-surrogacy announcement. Knowing what to and what not to include can be confusing.

Don’t worry — American Surrogacy is here to help. Below, find a few tips we offer intended parents when it’s time to announce their baby’s arrival into the world.

Tip #1: First, Decide When You’ll Send an Announcement

Before we get into the details of sending baby announcements, we know that you might be interested in sending surrogacy and pregnancy announcements, as well. Ultimately, it will be up to you and your spouse to decide what time is best to announce your new addition — but there are a few things to consider.

Many parents are so excited to finally begin their surrogacy journey that they announce their news right at the start. Or, they may be so thrilled at their surrogate’s positive pregnancy test that they can’t keep their news to themselves. It’s totally understandable to want to share your surrogacy journey with the world, but we encourage intended parents to be patient.

If you want to send a pre-birth announcement, doctors often recommend waiting until 12 weeks of pregnancy. At that point, the risks of miscarriage decrease greatly, and there is a higher chance that your surrogate will deliver a healthy, happy baby.

Because of the potential risks of surrogacy, many intended parents wait until their baby is born to share their parenthood news with the world. While we encourage intended parents to tell their close family and friends about their journey early on, it might be best to wait until your little one is home before telling every person in your network. 

But, again, this decision is always up to you.

Tip #2: Don’t Forget to Honor Your Gestational Carrier

You know birth announcements typically include a cute photo and the birth details. But, when your child is born via surrogacy, don’t forget one important detail: your gestational carrier.

Your surrogate will have sacrificed a great deal of time and energy to help you become a parent. And, while she will be fairly compensated and receive a great deal of satisfaction in her choice, you should also honor that journey. 

How exactly you do this is up to you. But a simple line like “Thank you to our gestational carrier Sarah for bringing our little joy into the world!” can recognize her unique role and show your appreciation.

Tip #3: But Don’t Overshare Info

Remember that your surrogate is her own person — and she has the right to tell her surrogacy story in her own way and on her own time. Don’t use your birth announcement to describe every step of your surrogacy journey (unless you’ve cleared it with her ahead of time). Details like the surrogate’s last name, location, age and family members should stay off the announcement. A simple shout-out will be enough.

Remember: If you post your birth announcement to social media, it can easily be seen by those not in your network, even with privacy settings.

Tip #4: Look to Other Examples for Ideas

While surrogacy is becoming more common, you may not have anyone in your community who has gone through this process. If you’ve never seen a surrogacy birth announcement, how do you know what yours should look like?

The good news is that you can use templates from traditional birth announcements for your surrogacy birth announcements. You may need to tweak a few details, but most of the basics will remain the same.

We’ve gathered a few examples here for you to check out. Hop on Pinterest for some more ideas.

Tip #5: Do What’s Right for You

Like most aspects of your surrogacy journey, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to announce your baby’s birth. If you’re a more private person, you may not send an announcement at all. Maybe you keep your announcements to a smaller group of people and don’t even mention your surrogate on them — because, by then, your gestational surrogacy is common knowledge.

Every one of these options (and the many more available to you) are perfectly okay. Gestational surrogacy is a long journey, and you’ll have to make a lot of compromises along the way. If you want to do birth announcements completely your way, that’s totally understandable.

If you ever need guidance on when and how to announce your gestational surrogacy journey, don’t be afraid to reach out to your American Surrogacy specialist anytime.