Can a Baby Look Like the Surrogate Mother?

As an intended parent, there can be plenty of details swarming through your brain. While you prepare for parenthood, there is a lot to think about. What is the right surrogacy match for you? What biological connection is there between the prospective surrogate and your baby? It’s common and natural to consider questions like these.

That’s why we’re here to help you out. If you are curious about the genetic connection in surrogacy between the surrogate and baby, then you’re in the right place. We have created this comprehensive guide to give you the information that you’ve been searching for. Now, you can get an answer to that lingering question: Can a baby look like the surrogate mother?

Does the Baby Look Like the Surrogate Mother? [Gestational vs. Traditional Surrogacy]

Because you are an intended parent, you might be wondering, “Will the baby look like the surrogate mother?” To answer that question, you will need to understand the differences between gestational and traditional surrogacy. The vast majority of surrogacies today are gestational, and traditional surrogacies are illegal in many states.

When it comes to gestational surrogacy, there is no genetic connection between the prospective surrogate and the baby. This is because there is a sperm or egg donor involved, and many surrogacy professionals consider this the safer and more ethical option. So, can babies look like their surrogate? In gestational surrogacy, they won’t. It uses in vitro fertilization (IVF), which is when a doctor takes sperm to fertilize eggs outside of the body. Once the eggs are fertilized, they become embryos. These embryos are then transferred to the prospective surrogate.

Traditional surrogacy, on the other hand, uses an intended father’s or donor’s sperm. But it does not use an intended mother’s or donor’s egg. In other words, the prospective surrogate is the biological mother of the child. This can be much trickier for everyone involved, as there will be extra steps and legal precautions to be mindful of.

Explaining the Surrogacy Screening Process [Do Babies Look Like Their Surrogate Mothers?]

If you are still wondering, “Does a surrogate baby look like the parents,” then it may be helpful to have a deeper understanding of the surrogacy screening process. Starting the surrogacy process as an intended parent can be overwhelming. So, developing a solid understanding of the screening process for prospective surrogates can bring you some peace of mind.

For instance, American Surrogacy has a thorough screening process that is designed to provide you with as much reassurance as possible. We make sure that all prospective surrogates we work with are physically and mentally ready to embark on this journey. There are many emotional highs and lows of surrogacy, and we can guarantee that all our prospective surrogates are prepared for them. On top of rigorous background screening, they must meet the following set of requirements for surrogate mothers:

  • Between 21 and 38 years old
  • A BMI of 19-32
  • Non-smoker and no use of illegal drugs or other substances
  • No exposure to secondhand smoke
  • Have had at least one successful pregnancy but no more than five C-sections
  • Currently raising a child of their own
  • No significant complications in previous pregnancies
  • Completed a pap smear within the past year
  • And more

Because of these requirements, American Surrogacy can ensure that all our prospective surrogates are ready to meet the demands of both a successful surrogacy and pregnancy. Although it’s common for intended parents like you to wonder, “Does a surrogate baby look like the parents,” this ultimately doesn’t matter.  Whether a baby looks like you or the prospective surrogate isn’t important in the grand scheme of a successful surrogacy.

What Matters in a Successful Surrogacy

So, if genetic makeup doesn’t matter in a successful surrogacy, then we should tell you what does matter. As you enter your surrogacy contract as an intended parent, it can be helpful to prepare some questions for a prospective surrogate. Finding the right match is an important step, so we’ve given you some examples of questions to get you started:

  • What are some of your hobbies and interests?
  • How would you describe your family?
  • What education do you have?
  • Why do you want to become a surrogate?
  • What is your previous experience with surrogacy?

To get free surrogacy information now, you can fill out our online contact form at any time. We would love to help you get started on your surrogacy journey today! We are here for you whenever you may need us.

What American Surrogacy is Thankful for This Year

As the holiday season approaches, we here at American Surrogacy want to take time to reflect and recognize the incredible journey we’ve been on with all of our amazing surrogates and intended parents in 2021.  

Even though we’ve all faced challenges through the pandemic, we are grateful for the opportunity to help build families and see surrogates making a tremendous sacrifice to help intended families see their dreams of parenthood become a reality. 

Angie, one of our surrogacy professionals, always uses the holiday season as a time to reflect on all of the families we’ve worked with. 

“The holidays are my favorite time of the year and I am thankful to surrogates for making the ultimate sacrifice to allow others to become parents or add to their family. I’m thankful this option is available to so many families who otherwise felt they were at the end of their road.” 

“Although it might be a new normal, it finally feels like we are getting closer to getting through the pandemic and we can’t wait to help surrogates and intended parents achieve their surrogacy dreams in 2022.”   

While intended parents seeing their child for the first time is life-changing, surrogacy isn’t just about the day a baby is born. It’s about the journey everyone involved takes together to reach a happy ending. 

We want to take this time to recognize everyone that plays a role in the amazing surrogacy process. 

  1. The Selfless Surrogates Who Help Our Intended Parents  

There is a strong commonality you all share; the desire to help. 

Having experienced the miracle of pregnancy and the joy of parenthood gives you the perspective to understand what intended parents face when having a biological child of their own isn’t possible. 

Your choice to become a gestational carrier to help give an intended parent the gift of having a child is incredible. 

We’re thankful for the opportunity to work with all of you because we know carrying a child for someone else comes with its set of challenges.  

Your sacrifice, time, energy and willingness to do something so amazing for someone else is what drives us to be the best surrogacy agency we can be. 

Thank you to all of our gestational carriers who have helped bring life into the world in 2021! 

  • Our Amazing Intended Parents Seeing Their Dreams of Parenthood Become a Reality 

Whether you’re patiently waiting for the day your baby is born, or you’ve experienced the birth of your child in 2021, we want to say how thankful we are for the opportunity to work with so many amazing intended parents. 

We know many of our intended parents come to us as the last hope for a biological child. It’s an honor for us to be a part of helping make that dream become a reality through surrogacy.  

There is no greater joy than helping intended parents find the perfect surrogate and realize the chance to become a parent is on the horizon.  

We want to wish all of our intended parents their families the very best this holiday season. 

  • Our Surrogacy Professionals Who Work Tirelessly to Help Build Families  

Our surrogacy specialists, like Angie and Katie, are instrumental in helping our surrogates and intended parents come together to make surrogacy dreams come true. 

Family-building through surrogacy can be a lengthy and detailed process. Our goal is to help our surrogates focus on having the healthiest pregnancy possible and allow our intended parents to offer support and prepare for becoming parents by working hard in the background. 

Our professionals spend most of their time coordinating with various professionals during the surrogacy process while also offering support, education and resources when our intended parents and surrogates need it. 

This year, we want to offer a special thank you to all of our extraordinary surrogate professionals who play a significant role in building families through surrogacy. 

As We Look Ahead to 2022 

While looking back on another fantastic year at American Surrogacy, we also want to focus on the future and our goal of continuing to help build families through the life-changing journey of surrogacy. 

As surrogacy continues to grow as a way for intended parents to have a biological child and surrogates to experience the joys of pregnancy again while also helping intended parents, we strive to ensure that all of our clients get the support and resources they need. 

Our message is clear: We are here to help you every step of the way and to provide you with everything you need to have a healthy pregnancy that results in a beautiful child. 

For prospective surrogates and individuals or couples dreaming of parenthood and reading this, we are ready to provide you with the information you need to begin your surrogacy journey. 

Prospective surrogates can contact us online here. Intended parents, you can connect with a surrogacy professional today by completing this online form

We can’t wait for the opportunity to help your surrogacy dreams come true! 

Pursuing Surrogacy after Adoption

Adoption and surrogacy are two amazing ways to build a family, but there are some important things to know before beginning your surrogacy journey. 

  • Surrogacy and adoption have some significant differences. 
  • The surrogacy process can be lengthy. 
  • Intended parents can match with a well-qualified surrogate when working with a reputable surrogacy agency. 

Before we talk about the differences between adoption and surrogacy and how the surrogacy process works, it’s important to know that you can always reach out to a surrogacy professional by completing this online contact form

If you’re considering surrogacy after adopting a child, you probably have many questions about how surrogacy for intended parents works. An experienced professional is ready to answer all of your questions. 

Having already adopted a child, you know what it’s like to match with a birth mother, develop a relationship and experience the joy of seeing your child for the first time. 

Surrogacy offers some similarities in matching and experiencing a remarkable journey with a woman carrying your child. However, the dynamic in your relationship has some unique differences, and the medical process is more complex, which is why we want to provide you with as much information as possible to prepare you for what’s ahead. 

What is Gestational Surrogacy and How Does it Work? 

Gestational surrogacy is when a surrogate carries a child for an intended parent but has no genetic link to the child. Through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), an embryo created by the egg and sperm of the intended parents (or donor) is transferred into the surrogate’s uterus. 

Gestational surrogacy differs from traditional surrogacy in that a traditional surrogate would have a genetic link to the child. 

As surrogacy has become more popular and past cases of parental rights issues such as the case of “Baby M,” surrogacy professionals have moved away from traditional surrogacy and only work with gestational carriers. 

In your adoption, you may have matched with a birth mother well into her pregnancy or potentially after the baby was born. 

But what about pregnancy and the medical process of surrogacy

How the Surrogacy Medical Process Works 

First, you can find a complete guide to the surrogacy medical process here. You can also get more information from a surrogacy professional by filling out this online contact form

As the intended parent, you want the best chances for a healthy pregnancy and baby from your surrogate. 

To ensure that is the case, prospective surrogates must undergo a thorough screening process to determine they are medically and psychologically ready to be a surrogate. 

The screening process includes: 

  • healthy BMI 
  • Between the ages of 21-40 
  • At least one previous successful pregnancy 
  • No major complications from previous pregnancies  
  • No untreated STDs 
  • No smoking, drug use or exposure to second-hand smoke 
  • No use of anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications for the last 12 months 
  • And more 

After the initial screening process, surrogates will participate in medical and psychological evaluations to ensure they are medically ready to move forward with a gestational pregnancy and prepared for the complex emotions associated with pregnancy and becoming a gestational carrier. 

Once all screenings are complete and a prospective surrogate is determined to be a qualified candidate, the matching process will move forward, followed by sitting down with your surrogacy attorney to draft your legal surrogacy contract. 

Included in your legal contract is determining:  

  • How much financial compensation beyond covering medical costs will be given to your surrogate. 
  • The number of embryo transfers will take place to achieve a positive pregnancy. 
  • An agreement on issues such as selective reduction or termination. 
  • Your involvement in prenatal appointments and the birth of the child. 
  • The risks and liability associated with the pregnancy. 
  • Your preferences for diet restrictions during pregnancy. 
  • And more 

After you and the surrogate have agreed to the legal contract, you can move forward with the medical process of surrogacy. 

Remember, you can always get more information on the entire surrogacy process by contacting one of our surrogacy professionals

How Much Does Surrogacy Cost? 

Because each surrogacy journey is different, it’s always best to reach out to one of our professionals to discuss surrogacy costs. 

We also have a guide on general surrogacy costs here

Additionally, your surrogacy attorney and the surrogate’s attorney will work to develop an agreeable amount of compensation beyond the standard costs. 

What’s it Like to Match with a Surrogate? 

As previously mentioned, the matching process in surrogacy differs from adoption. As an intended parent, you match with well-qualified surrogates who have passed an extensive screening process, medical exam and psychological evaluation. 

When working with a surrogacy agency, the goal is to always match you with a surrogate that gives you the best possible chance for a healthy pregnancy and successful surrogacy journey. 

Your surrogacy professional will handle the entire matching process to ensure the surrogate you work with fits your specific needs and goals, giving you the chance to focus on building a relationship with her as you move forward in the process. 

Finding a surrogate safer and quicker is one of the many benefits of working with an experienced agency and professional. 

You can get more information on surrogacy matching and the entire surrogacy process by completing this form to connect with one of our professionals today. 

What are the Surrogacy Requirements for Intended Parents? 

In general, the surrogacy requirements for intended parents are about preparation. 

There are four key elements to preparing for your surrogacy journey. 

  • Research – When considering surrogacy, the best place to start is to research your state’s surrogacy laws, consult your doctor or a fertility clinic and read information on the basics of the surrogacy process. You can also reach out to anyone you know who has experience with surrogacy to gain different perspectives. 
  • Emotionally Prepare Yourself – Because surrogacy is a lengthy process and could include multiple embryo transfers to achieve a positive pregnancy, it’s vital that you and your partner or spouse are fully committed to the process and ready for any challenges. You’ll also need to commit to psychological screening and counseling both during and after the surrogacy process. 
  • Prepare Your Finances – Surrogacy is expensive, and you’ll need to prepare yourself for the costs associated with this type of family building. You’ll want to speak with your surrogacy professional to determine your exact costs and prepare for the additional surrogate compensation during the process. 
  • Legal Protection – Legal counsel for creating your surrogacy contract and protecting your parental rights is another crucial step in preparing yourself for surrogacy. Your attorney will help navigate your state’s surrogacy laws as well as obtain a pre-birth order to establish yourself as the baby’s parent legally. 

What Else Do You Need to Know about Surrogacy? 

The information provided here outlines the surrogacy process, surrogacy costs and requirements for intended parents. 

The next step is to reach out to one of our experienced surrogacy professionals to learn more about how to get your surrogacy journey started today. 

Why work with a surrogacy agency

  • A history of success 
  • Unlimited matching 
  • Extensive surrogate screening 
  • Support and guidance every step of the way 
  • Protection of surrogacy fees 
  • And more 

You deserve to work with the best professionals to ensure you have the safest and smoothest experience possible. 

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month [How to Cope]

Surrogacy is an amazing journey filled with twists and turns, some planned, some unexpected. There may be times where you encounter devastating obstacles. Whether it’s the embryo transferring not taking, a miscarriage or infant loss, experiencing heartbreaks during your surrogacy process is an unfortunate reality for many families. 

That’s why October has been chosen as the month to commemorate pregnancy, infant loss and miscarriage awareness month. Many families don’t know where to turn and feel they must grieve alone, struggling to cope with the loss of their infant or pregnancy. During this month, we encourage families, whether they’ve experienced infant or pregnancy loss or not, to recognize those who have. You should never have to bear these difficult emotions in silence. This month stands to help these families cope with grief in a healthy way. 

While the entirety of October is an awareness month, Oct. 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. “Remembering Our Babies,” a group dedicated to spreading awareness of this issue and encourages everyone to light a candle at 7 p.m. on Oct. 15 to represent the pregnancies and infants that were lost too early. 

The organization also offers guidance for coping with grief of a lost pregnancy or infant over the course of the year. Friends and families can view suggestions on how to support and counsel loved ones going through this grief process. 

In addition to the worldwide candle lighting, you can also see if an organization near you is hosting an awareness walk or activity within the month of October. You can also submit information about an event you’re hosting for advertising on their website. 

How to Cope with Pregnancy or Infancy Loss [Reach Out for Support] 

Many families might not know where to turn for help processing their grief. You might find more solace in one outlet than another. Fortunately, there are many resources available to those going through this difficult experience. 

Step 1. Find someone you can talk to 

The pain of losing an infant or pregnancy is immeasurable. Keeping all of these emotions to yourself can compound the pain and grief you are already experiencing. Your silence can potentially make it difficult if not impossible to grief properly and move forward. Verbally acknowledging your feelings can help you process them and work through them in a progressive way.   

You can find support in a spouse, parent, sibling friend or surrogacy specialist. Being able to talk about your grief can be a great form of emotional release. During National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month also allows you to connect with other families who have experienced this loss.  

Step 2. Find a support group 

There is an abundance of support groups and forums made up of people who are experiencing a lot of the emotions that you may be. Through this groups you can find a safe space to talk about your experience, receive emotional support, connect with others and support them and get tips on accessing helpful resources during this time. 

Whether these groups are in-person or via an online forum, having a community of individuals who can relate to your experience can be incredibly helpful in processing your grief and reaffirms that you are not alone. 

Step 3. Commemorate Your Loss in a Way that’s Meaningful to You 

There are many ways you can remember what you have lost on October 15. You can light a candle in remembrance of not only yours, but all the little ones that have been lost. Some communities organize walks or charity events to remember the ones lost.  

You might donate to a charity that helps other families who are going through the same pain you are. Some families even plant a tree or create some form of a memorial in remembrance of their lost infant. There is no right or wrong way to commemorate your loss. You may decide to do so in a way that’s personal and unique to your family. As long as you find a way to do so in a way that’s means something to you and brings you a sense of closure. 

Many surrogacy specialists can provide counseling and support to intended parents who are coping with their grief during this difficult month. They can also refer you to trusted professional counselors and/or other pregnancy and infant loss support groups. 

The surrogacy groups listed below can help you cope with your grief and connect with others who are experiencing something similar: 

You can also find a full list of infertility and infant loss groups in the United States here

The grief of losing a pregnancy or infant should never be something you have to deal with in silence. You are not alone. Your support system, surrogacy specialist and community of those who share in your grief will be there for you to lean on. To get the emotional support you need, reach out to a surrogacy specialist today. 

Can I Change my Mind About a Match? [What to Look for]

As a surrogate or intended parent, you will get a say in the intended parents that you will be carrying for or the surrogate you want to carry your baby.  It’s important that you match with a person or couple who shares your values and surrogacy goals. But what if you choose the intended parents or surrogate and further down the line change your mind? Can you choose a different person or couple? 

Yes! You should never be made to feel like you have to surrogate for intended parents that you don’t feel comfortable carrying for or choose a surrogate who you don’t want to carry your child. You will always have the right to choose the person or couple you feel best align with your surrogacy goals. Surrogacy is a complex and collaborative process. Having that special connection with the intended parents or surrogate will make for a positive surrogacy experience and foster a lasting bond. 

The Choice is Always Yours 

If you want to pursue surrogacy you will be able to create a surrogacy plan. This will include your preferred compensation, roles and responsibilities, any contact arrangements once the baby is born and more. You will never be forced into doing anything you want to do. Surrogacy is a collaborative effort, so your input will always be valued, even if that means changing intended parents or surrogates. 

While you can change intended parents or surrogates, it’s important that you carefully consider what you’re looking for in the couple or person you will be embarking on this journey with, not only for your sake but for theirs as well. You can take all the time you need to find the match that you feel aligns with your surrogacy goals. Surrogacy is a big decision, so it’s important that you feel completely comfortable with the person or couple you have chosen. 

How do you know when you’ve found the right match? Many surrogates say they could feel it in their gut. 

“It was just a gut feeling. The moment she messaged me there was just something there,” said Megan about her first conversation with her intended parents. “It’s just kind of like, when you know, you know, and… I just knew that they were going to be my family.” 

Your surrogacy specialist will work closely with you to create a set of preferences for the intended parents or surrogate you are looking for. 

Whatever you’re looking for in intended parents or your surrogate, your surrogacy specialist will find a person or couple who meet those preferences and present you with their profiles. Once you find a match  that resonates with you, your surrogacy specialist will be able to set up a meeting so you can get to know them and ask any questions you might have.  

With the help of your surrogacy specialist you’ll never have to ask, “Can I change intended parents?” “What if I’ve changed my mind about the surrogate I’ve chosen?”  You always get to choose the intended parents or surrogate who is right for you, and you will never have to make a choice until you are 100% confident in this decision. 

How to Change Intended Parents [Finding the Right Connection] 

When embarking on a journey as important as surrogacy, we understand that your surrogacy goals may change as you progress through the surrogacy process. It will always be within your rights to change intended parents if you feel this is what’s best for you. 

But, how do you change matches when making this decision? There are a few steps involved: 

Step 1: Tell your Surrogacy Specialist 

Your surrogacy specialist is there to support you in whatever you need. They understand the complex emotions that come with surrogacy and will never judge you for changing your mind about the intended parents you want to carry for or surrogate you want to carry for you.  They want your surrogacy process to be a successful and positive one— and that can’t happen if you aren’t working with the right family. 

Always be up front with your surrogacy specialist. They will be there to help you work through your feelings and potentially address any fears you might have. Whether this decision stems from miscommunication or a misunderstanding, they’ll help you pinpoint exactly what you are looking for in intended parents or surrogate. 

After you tell your specialist about your decision and you’ve talked through everything, they will break the news to your previously selected person or couple, and then help you learn more about how to change intended parents or surrogate and find the right match for you. 

Step 2: Think About what you Want 

If you decide to change intended parents or surrogate, it’s important that you identify the reasons why. Only then can you find the right couple or person to work with. 

Your specialist will talk with you in detail about your preferences and surrogacy goals when they talk about how to change intended parents, including what you didn’t like about the previous match. Together, you will create an updated list of preferences for the ideal intended parents you would like to carry for, and they will start collecting more surrogacy profiles for you to view. 

No matter how long it takes, you will find what you’re looking for, just like Nichole did. 

“We just decided we just wanted to work with each other; we have that connection that people say, ‘When you know, you know,’ and it’s true,” Nichole said. “You just know when it’s the right people to work with.” 

Step 3: Choose a New Surrogate or Intended Parents 

The rest of this process will be the same as choosing your initial match. You will get the chance to ask questions about the person or couple and even speak with them over phone to confirm they are the right choice for you. Think about the concerns you had about the last match, and make sure those are addressed before committing to this partnership. 

What to Consider When Changing Matches 

It’s normal to have reservations about intended parents or your surrogacy plan in general. Surrogacy is a big endeavor, and it’s nothing that you want to rush into before you are 100 percent ready. And that’s why many surrogates, like you, want to know, “Can I change intended parents if I need to?” 

The answer is yes. However, if you’re a surrogate, it’s important to recognize that intended parents have been through a lot, so it’s important to be 100% confident in your decision so that you aren’t jerking them around. Many prospective surrogate mothers and intended parents have an idea of what they want their “perfect match” to look like on paper, and it can be difficult to find intended parents or a surrogate that you feel that special connection with.  

No one is perfect, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find a match that’s perfect for you. To get more information on what to do if you change your mind about a match, reach out to a surrogacy specialist today. 

Surrogacy is About More Than Getting a Baby [8 Life Lessons of Surrogacy]

When you choose surrogacy as intended parents, you’re not just getting a baby — you’re going to learn some important life lessons along the way.

First, here are a few things to remember before you choose to start or grow your family through surrogacy:

  1. Gestational carriers will be sacrificing a lot to carry your baby for you — she deserves your respect.
  2. Putting effort into building a relationship with your surrogate (and her family) can turn your surrogacy experience into a lifelong bond.
  3. Your surrogate is eagerly anticipating the day that you get to meet your baby!

If this sounds like a journey that you’re ready to start today, call American Surrogacy at 1-800-875-BABY (2229). If you meet the requirements to become a surrogate and you’re ready to begin your journey, contact us online at any time.

Next, let’s take a look at some of the life lessons that go hand-in-hand with your surrogacy experience.

1. Respect for Surrogates and Intended Parents

When a woman chooses to carry a child for you, she is doing more than becoming pregnant. Her family, her body and her time are putting in the effort to help you start or grow your family. On the other hand, you having the courage to ask for help when you’re struggling to conceive a child is brave. Trusting a woman to carry the precious gift of a child for you while you shower her with love and appreciation is one of the ways that can bring others faith in humanity. Both gestational carriers and intended parents deserve respect for their loving efforts.

“We were all able to grow in this experience, and it taught us a greater appreciation for what we have and who we are. Surrogacy helped me appreciate the profound luck that many of us have with conceiving and birthing our children and helped me bring about a greater respect for those that cannot. — Kelli, a surrogate

2. Patience [It’s a Virtue of Surrogacy]

Once you decide to choose surrogacy, as a surrogate or as intended parents, you’re ready to get pregnant and have a baby. But, this doesn’t happen in nine months — it could take a year or two. You must be armed with patience and the knowledge that it will happen, even if it doesn’t happen on the first try.

“When you want a baby, you want it right now — you wanted it yesterday — so it’s very, very hard to be patient, but in the end, it’s worth it,” Lindsey said. “You want it to be a happy ending for everyone and, if you’re patient, it will come.” — Lindsey and Shiloh, intended parents

3. Compassion and Understanding

You know the adage of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes? This certainly applies to surrogacy. You may not be going through the pregnancy yourself, but your surrogate is. Asking her how she’s feeling and really taking the time to listen can make a world of difference in your personal relationship with your surrogate. Even joining her at prenatal appointments, if possible, can bring you much needed compassion and understanding.

“Once, in my 2nd trimester, I mentioned to the [intended] dads that sleeping was becoming uncomfortable,” Chelsie, a surrogate, said. “Days later, I came home from work and had a delivery on my front porch — they had bought me a pregnancy body pillow! This is just one of the many sweet things they did for me and my family.”

4. The Humility of Surrogates and Intended Parents

It can be hard to ask for help, especially with something as personal as fertility. When you reach out to American Surrogacy and ask for help finding a prospective surrogate to carry your child for you, it can be a humbling experience. Watching a woman that you may not (yet) know very well go through the rigorous medical process of preparing for embryo transfer, and then carrying your child for nine months, can quickly help you realize that she is a selfless and brave woman — she wants you to have a precious gift that you may be unable to create for yourself.

Cassie, a surrogate, explained the simplicity of the humbling experience of surrogacy to her children in this way:

“[The intended parents] need help having a baby — mommy can help them have a baby.”

5. Surrogacy is About More Than Getting a Baby

You want to start or grow your family through surrogacy, but you will get more than the precious gift of a baby. Through surrogacy, you will meet your incredible surrogate and her family — the spouse and children who are supporting her in the process of carrying your child. You will get the opportunity to get to know wonderful people for nine plus months or even for a lifetime.

“We got our dream baby, but more than that we met amazing people along the way and had renewed faith in humanity and the kindness and love that can get you through tough chapters in life.” — Katie and Bryn, intended parents.

6. An Appreciation for Health

Being unable to carry a child often has to do with health conditions. For example, heart conditions, diminished ovarian reserve, low sperm count and other conditions that make pregnancy dangerous or extremely difficult. Prospective surrogates must have a clean bill of health and proof that their previous pregnancies were low risk and healthy throughout. Surrogacy can be a reminder that some people develop health concerns throughout their lives that prevent them from doing the things that they want to do, like having a baby, and that’s OK.  

 “There are so many great people out there that want a child but can’t do it without help. You were blessed with a body that cannot only give you a family but could help build another!” — Alexis, a surrogate

7. A Surrogacy Support Team Makes All the Difference

When a woman plans to become pregnant with her own child, she has the support of her family and friends before, during and after childbirth. But when a woman becomes pregnant as a gestational carrier, she needs the extra support of American Surrogacy and you, the intended parents. Surrogacy is a unique journey that involves extra supportive people because so much planning, time, effort and love are going into the arrival of your precious child.

“I began the medications, and between the parents, [surrogacy agency], and family, I had people checking on me often to ensure everything felt right. We had the first transfer…and I was confirmed pregnant. It was an amazing feeling knowing we were on our way.” — Kelli, a surrogate

8. It Takes a Village [to Have a Child]

When you choose to have a baby through surrogacy, there are many people involved. It may seem like it’ll be just you (the intended parents) and your surrogate, but that’s not the case!

First, once you reach out to American Surrogacy you will get assistance from your screening coordinator and case manager. They will be involved in your journey from beginning to end, cheering you on and answering all of your questions.

Next, you begin the matching process which will result in you meeting your prospective surrogate. She will already have children of her own who you may get the opportunity to meet. Often, your surrogate will be married as well, which means you’ll probably meet her spouse, too.

Finally, you’ll meet with an attorney for contract negotiations and then there will be many other professionals behind the scenes. Fertility doctors, nurses, lab and ultrasound technicians are just a few of the many people involved in helping you have a baby. (Don’t worry: American Surrogacy can help you find these professionals and resources!)

Last, but not least, are the extended family and friends who are looking forward to meeting your baby. These are people who have been by your side as you made the decision to choose surrogacy. All of these people help make it possible for you to meet your baby for the first time and will be there for you as you embark on your journey to parenthood.

If you’re ready to begin your surrogacy journey today, call American Surrogacy at 1-800-875-BABY (2229). Contact us online at any time if you meet the requirements to become a surrogate and you want to learn how you can get started.

80 Surrogacy Quotes that Will Make You Laugh and Cry

What Surrogates and Intended Parents Have to Say about Surrogacy

Surrogacy can be an amazing experience for surrogates, their families and intended parents. But, don’t take our word for it — see what surrogates and intended parents have to say about their surrogacy experiences.

To begin your journey as intended parents or as a gestational carrier, call American Surrogacy today at 1-800-875-BABY (2229). If you meet the requirements to become a surrogate and you’re ready to begin, contact us online at any time.

Why Surrogates Choose Surrogacy

1. “Choosing to be a surrogate and to have a surrogate, is a calling and not without heartfelt considerations.” — Amber, a surrogate

2. “The top reasons I chose to become a surrogate mother was to be pregnant again, to enjoy pregnancy. To help a family, a couple that wasn’t able to have another child. To just give back in some way that not many people think about. But, that’s something easy that you can do and it’s selfless, and it’s something actually fun.” — Alicia, a surrogate

3. “The top reasons I wanted to become a surrogate were to help a family. I enjoy being pregnant, so that wasn’t a problem. It was also going to financially benefit us, so it was good timing, a good fit for us at that point.” — Codi, a surrogate

4. “I initially chose to become involved in surrogacy because I watched some very dear friends struggle with infertility. I knew they would be amazing parents and it broke my heart that they may not have the opportunity to have a family of their own… As a bonus, I also happen to LOVE being pregnant!  I have four children, including a set of twins. And yes, even pregnant with twins, I enjoyed it! — Delicia, a surrogate

5. “Becoming a mom completely changed my life in the most unimaginable way. My son is 6 and I cannot imagine my world without him. After watching several friends face infertility, I realized I could help others who were unable to have their own children. After almost 6 months of research and thinking about the impact surrogacy would have on me and my son, I…made one of the most rewarding decisions of my life.” — Chelsie, a surrogate

6. “Surrogacy was something I had wanted to do for a long time, after having watched a friend struggle with their own fertility and knowing how great of a mother she would be.” — Amanda, a surrogate

7. “My first interest in surrogacy came long before I had children of my own, during the time in which my sister was currently carrying twins for a family who could not conceive themselves…” Kelli said. “After I birthed my second child, I felt that my family was complete and began my research into surrogacy to ensure it was still on the table. It was truly the love I hold for my children that confirmed surrogacy was for me. As many surrogates will say, I could not imagine my life without my children, and wanted to provide every opportunity for a family to be able to say the same thing.” —  Kelli, a surrogate

8. “I became a surrogate from sheer fate. A dear friend of mine had asked if I would be her surrogate. I thought, ‘Surrogate?! That’s a thing?’…Three months later [my friend] was pregnant. However, I was left with the thought of having a baby for someone else. My husband and I were done having more babies, I enjoyed pregnancy and thought, if I could be pregnant and help create a family that I would look into it.” — Alex, a surrogate

9. “I first considered becoming a surrogate while visiting Disney World with my family,” Alexis said. “When I was there, I was overcome with pure joy for the memories we were creating with our three boys. It was like the joy you get at Christmas. It made my heart ache for those who truly want to have this experience but can’t due to health reasons.” — Alexis, a surrogate

10. “Once you put yourself in somebody’s else’s shoes, there’s really no turning back, once you see the struggle and the pain, and you wish you could just help everybody,” Megan said. “I said to [my husband], ‘If we couldn’t have children, what would you want? What would you want somebody else to do for us?’” — Megan, a surrogate

The Surrogacy Motto: “Hurry Up and Wait.”

11. “When you want a baby, you want it right now — you wanted it yesterday — so it’s very, very hard to be patient, but in the end, it’s worth it,” Lindsey said. “You want it to be a happy ending for everyone and, if you’re patient, it will come.” — Lindsey and Shiloh, intended parents

12. “Hurry up and wait. You’re like, ‘Yeah, let’s go get pregnant right now!’ and then you’re like pre-screening, medical screening, psych, contracts…literally it took me two years and all of that time, I was waiting for this moment [when the IPs meet their baby].” — Cassie, a surrogate

13. “I was so excited and my husband was completely supportive and on board but I had no idea what to expect. The next few months consisted of meetings, medical record reviews, appointments with fertility clinics and of course, our match meeting…We knew this journey would be life-changing, and it has greatly bonded my family while adding a new extended family. As we approach our third trimester with our IPs’ first little boy, we are filled with so much excitement and love.” — Amanda, a surrogate

14. “I began the medications, and between the parents, [surrogacy agency], and family, I had people checking on me often to ensure everything felt right. We had the first transfer…and I was confirmed pregnant. It was an amazing feeling knowing we were on our way.” — Kelli, a surrogate

The Moment that Every Surrogate is Waiting for

15. “The surrogacy surpassed all of my expectations. I wanted to help a family and I loved being pregnant, but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming feelings when I saw the dads holding their twins for the first time after delivery! My heart could have burst! It wasn’t just happiness I saw on their faces, but a sense of wholeness. They had the missing pieces from their lives. I immediately told myself: ‘If I am approved to do this again, I will.’ Knowing the difference I’d made and the lives changed through the birth of those sweet twins was so fulfilling.” — Delicia, a surrogate

16. “The first [embryo transfer] was a success! I couldn’t wait to share the news with my intended family. My biggest hope was that I could keep this bun baking to full term so this family could be blessed with a happy, healthy baby… a less stressful welcome to the world than their previous pregnancies.” — Chelsea, a surrogate

17. “WOW, I helped them become dads! They were so full of love, joy, awe, excitement and nervousness at being new parents, but never stopped checking in on me to make sure I was doing well.” — Chelsie, a surrogate

18. “Being able to help give something to someone they may have not had the chance to otherwise is a wonderful feeling. I am most looking forward to seeing our IPs hold and raise this child they have longed for.” — Amanda, a surrogate

19. “From the success of the second transfer to the birth, the little one grew perfectly and was wonderfully (and thankfully) easy to carry every step of the way. I gave birth to a little girl just 4 days before my birthday…the parents were unable to attend, a moment I’d wanted so badly to witness. We sent them many pictures and offered to care for the baby until they arrived…It was close to midnight for the IPs, so they wished us a good day and signed off by saying excitedly, ‘Take care of our little girl!’ My heart swelled for them.” — Kelli, a surrogate

20. “I was so excited to see my intended parents hold their daughter for the first time. As I had been watching them prepare for parenthood and decorate her nursery, I couldn’t wait to see them feed her, change her, love her. As a mother and parent I know that feeling and for them, the moment she was born, I knew they felt the same exact way. — Alex, a surrogate

21. “It was such a fulfilling experience to see my IPs head home as a family.” — Maggie, a surrogate

22. “It was the moment that I had been waiting for, it was just like all of this work and that [moment] was the pay-off…I loved my first journey so much that I decided to do it again.” — Cassie, a surrogate

The Gestational Carrier/Intended Parent Relationship

23. “I think what made it was the connection — the very first connection,” Nichole says. “I think if you have the right match, you will have an extended family for the rest of your life… I chose to go with American [Surrogacy] because Angie was also worried about finding me the perfect match, and that’s what I wanted.” — Nichole, a surrogate

24. “Now I am on my second and final journey as surrogate,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I felt so much happiness providing a baby to a wonderful family that I decided to do it again. The new family I’m working with feels like I have been best friends with them for 20 years. They are so kind and grateful for the chance to have a baby. It is going to be a great experience that will end in a friendship for a lifetime.”

25. “We were very lucky that we got pregnant with our little baby girl, Freia. Our surrogate was so loving towards our baby, she also told her children about her, and they all called her by her name and spoke with her during the pregnancy, which we are so grateful for, she could never have been in better hands.” — Anne-Marie and Igor, intended parents

26. “[The surrogacy] team found us the most amazing woman to be our surrogate and carry our baby girl. She is just an excellent match for us! We have created a very unique relationship with her and her family! …Now our first baby girl is in our arms and our dreams have come true! We are looking forward to our next journey…in the very near future!” — Jasmine and Victor, intended parents

27. “We started the matching process…I got to meet my intended parents, we did contracts and matched. Once all of that was taken care of it became very much about building a relationship with my intended parents so that they felt comfortable trusting someone with their child, and then also for me so that I didn’t feel just like a body. That relationship was really important for me.” — Codi, a surrogate

28. “My life has changed so much since having been a surrogate…I have had one very successful surrogacy journey that resulted in me delivering a beautiful baby girl to the most amazing couple, of whom I remain good friends with!” — Anonymous surrogate

29. “Even though they lived around the world, they were involved, supportive and very open and communication was easy. They built a solid relationship with me, my parents, and my son. Once, in my 2nd trimester, I mentioned to the dads that sleeping was becoming uncomfortable. Days later, I came home from work and had a delivery on my front porch — they had bought me a pregnancy body pillow! This is just one of the many sweet things they did for me and my family.” — Chelsie, a surrogate

30. “But, I believe I was most grateful for the opportunity to select the family as much as the family is able to select me. It is important in this journey to feel comfortable and happy…when choosing my path.” — Kelli, a surrogate

31. “As a first-time surrogate, I knew that helping someone have a family was something I wanted to do, however, I had no idea how life-changing this would be. I was matched with a wonderful couple — it could not have been any better of a match. For this couple, I carried twins, a boy and a girl…When I look back on my experience, I realize that I have given a couple a beautiful family, gained a good friend [the intended mother], and developed a new level of closeness with my husband. I am changed forever in a beautiful way!” — Nicole, a surrogate

32. “You get [to give] your baby kisses and smooches, and I get to love on [the intended parents], too,” Megan says. “I didn’t just have babies for somebody else; I gained an entire family through the whole process….It was the most rewarding thing in the entire world. I would do it all over again.” — Megan, a surrogate

33. “Nicholas told our children that Julian is their cousin from Miami… It’s amazing to me that we have such a great relationship.” — Nichole, a surrogate

34. “For some surrogates, it’s a goodbye: ‘Thanks for everything you did; I’m out.’ But it just wasn’t like that,” Nichole said. “It was, ‘We love you guys, we’ll see you later, thanks so much’ — that kind of relationship.” — Nichole, a surrogate

How Surrogates Explain Surrogacy to Their Kids

35. “I told my children that it’s just like when we buy supplies or Christmas gifts for needy children – we are helping a family have a baby they can’t have on their own,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I told my boys, ‘If I could never make these amazing memories with you, I would be heartbroken.’ We are allowing someone else to create happy memories and complete a hole in their hearts.’ I have always believed in teaching my kids compassion for others and we are here on this earth to help one another, not to be self-consumed. What better way of showing this but by example of helping a family have a child!”

36. “My kids and my [intended parents] are very close. They Skype with us and send presents on holidays and birthdays and my kids/surrokids refer to themselves as ‘siblings of the heart.’ The experience has been an amazing way for my kids to learn compassion for others and the importance of using what you have available to help others.” — Delicia, a surrogate

37. “Since the beginning, my husband and I have been very open with our two boys (ages 5 and 3) about our plans for surrogacy and even brought them to our match meeting, and to meet with our IPs in person, as we felt if we wanted a lifetime connection, our children were just as big of a part of that.” — Amanda, a surrogate

38. “[The intended parents] were involved with my kids, and my daughter knew they were the parents of the baby I was pregnant with and that this baby had no ties to mommy. My son just thought I ate all of his toys.” — Alex, a surrogate

39. “Kids are so nonjudgmental. They don’t have that in their brains yet, so they’re like, ‘cool mom’ and they get it…With our IPs I told my smallest that [the intended mother’s] tummy is broken, mommy’s is not, and we’re just going to help them have a family like I have a family.” — Rose, a surrogate

40. “Nobody’s been able to tell [your kids] that [surrogacy is] weird or that there’s anything different about it. They’re just like, ‘OK they need help having a baby — mommy can help them have a baby,’ and that’s perfectly enough for them.” — Cassie, a surrogate

41. “I was just open and honest with them throughout the whole process. They were really young when I started, but I talked to them and laid it out for them, even in their young age, I explained to them what was going to happen. I wanted to make sure that they understand. I wanted to make sure that they were comfortable with the process before I even moved forward. And I think if you do it like that they just kind of take it and that’s what it is and they just accept it…They’re not going to think it’s weird unless you tell them it’s weird.” — Ami, a surrogate

Surrogacy Can Influence Positive Change in Your Family, Your Friends and Yourself

42. “I have always been a giver by nature and…I thought, ‘This is an amazing gift!’ Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I will be honest – my husband thought I was crazy but…he admitted he was very intrigued by the money. How things change! After our first [surrogacy] meeting, he said, ‘This is truly the greatest gift that you can give.’”

43. “We were all able to grow in this experience, and it taught us a greater appreciation for what we have and who we are. Surrogacy helped me appreciate the profound luck that many of us have with conceiving and birthing our children and helped me bring about a greater respect for those that cannot. — Kelli, a surrogate

44. “[My dad] was not supportive at all…But, he’s done a complete turnaround…It’s a humbling experience for everybody that you come in contact with and it’s definitely a growth experience for me, I know, and for people like my dad.” — Rose, a surrogate

45. “It helped open a lot of people’s eyes to surrogacy. My mom was one that whenever I told her, ‘I think I want to be a surrogate,’ she was one of those people that was like, ‘How does that work? I don’t understand the whole process.’ But then now, at the end of it, she was so proud of me and proud of what I was able to help these people get. Any chance that she has she tells people about me.” — Cassi, a surrogate

46. “Once people find out how the whole [surrogacy] process works and everything, a lot of the time they change their tune. Once they realize that it’s not malicious or you’re not doing anything wrong that you’re genuinely just helping people.” — Cassie, a surrogate

The Hardest Part of Surrogacy is…

47. “Of course, there are challenges in the process, like the shots and medications, and the strong feeling of not wanting to disappoint anyone, and even wondering if it would be difficult to say goodbye to the baby,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “But as the journey progressed, I was so eager for the family to meet their little one. The shots were hard; but like childbirth, you quickly forget the pain.”

48. “As surrogates, I don’t think we can imagine the potential emotional stress and challenges that are ahead. My IPs and I have had our smiles and our tears. Having someone qualified and experienced…makes the whole process and experience smoother and more enjoyable for all.” — Susan, a surrogate

49. “Anyone who has ever been pregnant knows that pregnancy is a stressful time, no matter how ideal. Carrying a baby for someone else has the potential to be even more stressful…Even though I didn’t have any major issues, it was comforting to know that someone was available, day or night, if I needed them for anything!” — Suzie, a surrogate

50. “I am in my second surrogate relationship and have found that it is an emotional roller coaster no matter who you’re coupled with…For me it has made all the difference in the world to have that personal relationship with [a surrogacy agency] who cares about my journey.” — Jovita, a surrogate

51. “The hardest part about being a surrogate is being pregnant, it’s the best and the hardest part because you’re giving up a part of your life for somebody else. It’s not even for your own family; it’s for someone else’s family to have this precious gift. And I believe that’s the hardest part that you have to put a part of your life on pause for nine plus months to give someone else a gift.” — Alicia, a surrogate

52. “The hardest part for me about being a surrogate was the weight of carrying somebody else’s joy and happiness. You carry your own, and you love them immensely, and you know that you would do the best things for them, but when you’re carrying somebody else’s you have all of those feelings, but you feel like you have to prove to someone, ‘I promise I’m taking care of him to the best of my ability.’ I found myself worrying about things that I didn’t worry about with my own son. That was the hardest part. By the end of the journey I was very much ready to not be responsible for somebody else’s joy and prized possession.” — Codi, a surrogate

53. “Unfortunately, we lost the baby the following August. It was an event that was always a possibility, but it still caught me off guard. It was the only fear I had going into the process and it had happened. I could not believe the outpouring of support the IPs and I received from all the agencies. The IPs even extended their condolences to me, which is the least selfish thing I have ever experienced. They were eager for another transfer and we tried again…” — Kelli, a surrogate

54. “Due to her prematurity, the baby had some difficulties breathing on her own and had to be whisked away in the middle of the night to a proper NICU almost 2 hours away. I believe hormones played a role, but this was the only moment in my surrogacy that I felt helpless. I had cared for this little being for almost 9 months and protected her, but now I couldn’t do anything to help her, and her IPs were not yet here to hold her…I was suddenly alone with the thought that I had failed. In hindsight, I know that this thought was misguided, but I was devastated…and very concerned for the baby…It was a unique emotion, but the other hospital called me regularly to update her status…and the IPs and I talked as much as possible until they arrived. As soon as I was well enough to leave the hospital, I immediately traveled to the NICU. Baby girl and her parents were all cozy in their own private room. I had missed the moment they were united as a family for the first time, the moment I’d dreamed about since day one, but it didn’t matter. You could almost feel the love and excitement in the room…It was almost overwhelming. The baby was released from the hospital in less than a week, and she is now home with two loving parents and an extended group of family and friends that have waited years for her arrival.” — Kelli, a surrogate

Reimbursement and Compensation

55. “When I started the process I always thought, ‘I could probably do it without compensation, like I just really want to do this.’ However, I think it’s important now that I’ve gone through it, to say it was very valuable. The compensation made it feel like I was valued in that sense.” — Codi, a surrogate

56. “I did not know what I was going to do with the money ahead of time. The first time around I did know that I was going to go to nursing school with the money, which I did get to do that, and that was very helpful. The second time around…I used the money for expenses and also for my daughter. Trips with her, we went on vacations a lot. I used a lot of the money for her…to show my appreciation for her being so understanding and just a great little helper while I was going through the process.” — Alicia, a surrogate

57. “For me, surrogacy was a great experience I hope to repeat again one day when my husband and I both finish school, hopefully debt-free thanks to the compensation!” — Kelli, a surrogate

58. “The first time I did it to make a difference in the world,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I wanted to show my children how to help others and that giving is a great thing. This time I am excited to give the gift of a child but I’m doing it for my family. We spent the first money on home improvements and a trip, but this time I am doing it for financial peace. We plan on paying off both our cars and student loans. This will free up $900 in our monthly bills! We will save that extra money and plan to travel more with our kids. It is allowing us to do more without hurting us financially and paying off our debt will save us over $10,000 a year! So yes, my motives have slightly shifted for the second surrogacy but in the end, a wonderful family will get the baby they so eagerly await!”

59. “This journey has changed our life in so many positive ways. Aside from the financial gain that we are experiencing, being able to save for a house and build our savings, we have been able to positively educate people on gestational surrogacy and teach our children the act of giving.” — Amanda, a surrogate

Surrogates Believe Surrogacy is Worth It

60. “I can tell you now it is worth every second, and every up and every down. Surrogacy is worth it, 110%.” — Megan, a surrogate

61. “I was very happy that they had their child. I at no point wanted to take their child home nor did I feel like it actually belonged to me. I did not have that portion, I didn’t feel like a piece of me was missing. I felt like I did something good for someone else, and it was their child to have. I was glad that I was able to carry their child for them.” — Alicia, a surrogate

62. “The journey was so much more rewarding than I could ever have imagined!” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “From little things, like hearing the parents cry with joy when they found out I was pregnant, to the breathtaking ultrasound with the grandparents in the room. I will never forget the grandpa crying when he learned his family name would carry on and that the baby was a boy! There was not one dry eye in the room.”

63. “On this Mother’s Day evening…I am reflecting on how I made someone a mother of 2 beautiful healthy babies which she could never have on her own,” Jessika, a surrogate, said. “Wish I could do it for many more women out there. What a dream come true.”

64. “The entire experience of being pregnant again, being a surrogate, and helping a couple have a baby was all that I had hoped it would be…Though I have to wait a while before I can be a surrogate again due to my own medical reasons, it is something I feel I would like to repeat.” — Charleen, a surrogate

65. “When the baby was delivered I was very relieved, first off, and then very excited because the parents were in the room so they got to see the baby and everyone was already coming up to me saying ‘thank you’ and kisses and hugs. It was just a great experience and I felt really proud of what I did at that time. Even afterwards, when the baby came to visit me the next day, I was very grateful to be a part of this experience and they were grateful for me having the child for them and you could see it in everyone’s face, and they tell you, and it was just a lot of love and joy in the room and it was a great thing to be a part of.” — Alicia, a surrogate

66. “I never felt attached to the baby in the same way I felt attached to my own, but I did get very attached to the adventure…,” Kelli said. “There were a few individuals who said I would regret it, but I am happy to state that I definitely do not, and knew I never would.” — Kelli, a surrogate

67. “You are giving the ultimate gift,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “There are so many great people out there that want a child but can’t do it without help. You were blessed with a body that cannot only give you a family but could help build another!”

68. “I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. It just made me feel so fulfilled, so happy, so blessed to be able to do that for a family.” — Ami, a surrogate

69. “Surrogacy allowed me to fulfill a dream that I had always wanted to do. I wanted to give the biggest gift possible and, to me, that was life. I got to fulfill that and I got to watch the emotions and I get to see the joy and it is the most amazing feeling in the world.” — Megan, a surrogate

What Intended Parents Say About Surrogacy and Their Gestational Carriers

70. “It means more than the world; only very selfless people could do that,” Nicholas said. “It’s such a huge commitment from a woman to carry a child — mentally, emotionally, physically — I can’t even realize it. I will be forever, forever grateful to [my surrogate], Nichole.” — Nicholas, intended parent

71. “One of the first things [Megan] said to me was, ‘I’m not in this for the money,’” Lindsey said. “She wasn’t going to just do it for anybody; she wanted a family that she felt a connection with. That meant a lot to me.” — Lindsey and Shiloh, intended parents

72. “I never thought that [the surrogacy relationship] would go from complete stranger to best friend and a relationship that will always be there, so that’s pretty neat,” Lindsey said. — Lindsey and Shiloh, intended parents

73. “So I try to repay [our surrogate] in any way I can. Just any little thing that makes her feel loved – just anything to say ‘thank you, thank you, thank you for helping make me a mom!’” — Jenn and Brad, intended parents

74. “We got our dream baby, but more than that we met amazing people along the way and had renewed faith in humanity and the kindness and love that can get you through tough chapters in life.” — Katie and Bryn, intended parents

75. “My husband and I had a beautiful girl on Feb. 26., and I can’t describe how happy and excited we are…We liked our surrogate very much, she is amazing and a wonderful woman…We are ready for a second child now, and hope that… we can have a second child next year.” — Sunny, intended parent

76. “My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for eight years…[our surrogacy agency] has…provided us a wonderful surrogate, who is a beautiful spirit and a lovely person whom I believe is a true gift to us and our future child!” — Tamara, intended parent

77. “[Our surrogacy agency] paired us with a wonderful surrogate…and ultimately to a successful result. As we write this, our surrogate is carrying our next pair of twins! …It’s been a wonderful experience.” — Mike and Lisa, intended parents

78. “This is an incredible thing to do with your life, to give the gift of carrying someone’s child, so I am very grateful and feel very blessed and grateful to [my surrogate].” — Ellen Pompeo, intended mother

Why People Love American Surrogacy

79. “You need someone that you’re going to trust to choose a surrogate for you, and American Surrogacy was the only agency I felt comfortable with and was genuine enough for me to choose over the other agencies. I spoke to many surrogacy agencies — small and big — and none of them made me feel the way American Surrogacy made me feel. The people (at American Surrogacy) really cared about what they were doing, and this is the main, main thing you have to find. Everyone over there cared about me and what I wanted. ” –Nicholas, intended father

80. “When I researched American [Surrogacy], they had a lot of information on their website — information you could obtain without submitting your information first. I submitted my information and immediately I got a response back. [My American Surrogacy specialist] wasn’t in it just to have her company make money. She was very sincere in finding out how I was and finding me a good match. She worked really hard to do so, and that match was amazing.” –Nichole, surrogate

To begin your journey as intended parents or as a gestational surrogate, call American Surrogacy today at 1-800-875-BABY (2229). If you meet the requirements to become a surrogate and you’re ready to begin, contact us online at any time.

Surrogate Compensation vs. Reimbursement [An Intended Parent’s Guide to Understanding the Difference]

Women who desire to be surrogates, and those who already are gestational carriers, are special people who want to give a gift that will start or grow a family. Although there is monetary reimbursement involved and base compensation for carrying a pregnancy, surrogates aren’t in it for the money.

You may be wondering, “If not for the money then why do they do it?” Believe it or not there are several reasons that women choose to become surrogates:

  1. She wants to help intended parents, like you, start or grow your family.
  2. She enjoys being pregnant, but feels that her own family is complete.
  3. She wants to see you meet your baby for the first time.

Honestly, surrogates just want you to have the family that you deserve!

So, if surrogates aren’t in it for the money, then why do they get reimbursement and compensation? The answer is simple: a surrogate’s body and time deserve to be respected. Just because gestational carriers enjoy being pregnant doesn’t mean that the gestational surrogacy process is easy for them.

As you read this article, keep in mind that reimbursement and compensation are secondary (and likely even tertiary) thoughts for a surrogate. Her desire to give you a healthy baby is her top priority.

Codi, a surrogate through American Surrogacy, explained her thoughts on her responsibility as a surrogate.

“The hardest part for me about being a surrogate was the weight of carrying somebody else’s joy and happiness,” Codi said. “You carry your own, and you love them immensely, and you know that you would do the best things for them, but when you’re carrying somebody else’s you have all of those feelings, but you feel like you have to prove to someone, ‘I promise I’m taking care of him to the best of my ability.’”

To begin your journey as intended parents or as a gestational carrier, call American Surrogacy today at 1-800-875-BABY (2229). If you meet the requirements to become a surrogate and you’re ready to begin, contact us online at any time.

Surrogacy is a conscious choice and effort for a woman to help you have a baby, which brings us to the first myth about reimbursement and compensation — surrogacy is not a job.

“We’re Paying Her to Do a Job.” Here’s Why That’s Not Accurate.

When a woman voluntarily makes the conscious decision to carry your baby, she is doing this out of her desire to see you become a family.

That doesn’t sound like a job at all.

It’s actually a humanitarian effort. Surrogates may enjoy being pregnant, but they’re not choosing surrogacy just to be pregnant. They’re choosing surrogacy because they want to help you create the loving family that you deserve.

Delicia, a surrogate, talks about where her heart truly was when she made the decision to become a surrogate.

“I initially chose to become involved in surrogacy because I watched some very dear friends struggle with infertility. I knew they would be amazing parents and it broke my heart that they may not have the opportunity to have a family of their own”

Does that sound like she wanted to apply for the job position of gestational carrier? No.

If surrogates are looking for a job, they can certainly find a position that is less physically demanding on their bodies, doesn’t involve medications and regular trips to the doctor, and isn’t a 24/7 gig that takes 38 or more weeks of her time. She’s not looking for a job, she just wants you to start or grow your family by helping you have a baby.

Speaking of the physical demands and time constraints of pregnancy, before your surrogate can even become pregnant, she has to go through screenings and medical treatments. She should certainly be reimbursed for her efforts and the significant amount of time that the screening process will take.

What is Surrogacy Reimbursement and What Does it Include?

Prospective surrogates go through a rigorous round of medical evaluations, psychological evaluations, cycle medications, hormone treatments and more to prepare her mind and body for surrogacy.

Here is a list of a few common requirements that your prospective surrogate must complete:

  • Previous childbirth records review
  • In-home assessment
  • Background check
  • Emotional maturity evaluation
  • Personality test
  • Physical exam to include a pap smear
  • Blood and urine lab tests
  • Saline sonogram to evaluate the uterus
  • And more

This all happens before she is even approved for the embryo transfer!

Can you imagine going through this process without some form of reimbursement for the medical costs incurred? Your prospective surrogate isn’t receiving any base compensation during this process, but she is entitled to financial reimbursement for her time and efforts.

You may be wondering, “Does my surrogate still get reimbursed for a failed embryo transfer?” Yes, even though the embryo transfer may be unsuccessful, she will still receive reimbursement for any costs incurred during that process.

On the other hand, when the embryo transfer is successful, and your baby has a confirmed heartbeat, it’s time to move from reimbursement to base compensation. She is now officially your gestational carrier!

What is Base Compensation and How Does it Work?

Surrogates aren’t trying to get rich by helping you have a baby. Often gestational carriers don’t want compensation at all (yes, they’re really that selfless!), but it is important for you to understand that compensation is a very reasonable expectation for her and her family.

Base compensation is the set amount of funds that a surrogate will receive once pregnancy is confirmed. This amount is written into a contract between the surrogate and the intended parents before any attempts are made to move forward with the surrogacy process.

First, you should know that base compensation does not include medical, legal or travel expenses. Those expenses are paid outside of base compensation. The funds for base compensation are to be used by the surrogate in any way that she sees fit, unlike the reimbursements for very specific pregnancy — and surrogacy—related costs. For example, if she and her family want to make a down payment on a new home, she can use her base compensation in that way. She can save the base compensation payments for her child’s future college education, pay off her own student loans, go on vacation, etc.

Next, base compensation amount can increase depending on your surrogate’s level of experience (number of successful surrogate pregnancies), the cost of living in her state, and it even depends on the intended parent’s situation (if you are international intended parents, then your surrogate may earn additional compensation).

Finally, here’s a basic overview of how surrogacy base compensation works:

  1. Base compensation begins with confirmation of the baby’s heartbeat — around six weeks of pregnancy.
  2. An escrow account will be created to ensure that base compensation transactions are managed properly and match the agreed contract terms.
  3. Funds for base compensation are deposited into the escrow account in 10 equal installments throughout the pregnancy.

It is important to note that not all pregnancies are smooth sailing, so additional compensation is set aside for your surrogate in case of emergencies and/or unforeseen circumstances. If the pregnancy does go as planned, resulting in a healthy and happy baby and surrogate, then the use of emergency compensation is not necessary.

Codi, a surrogate through American Surrogacy, explains how she came to realize that compensation for her time and the physical demands of pregnancy was important.

“When I started the process I always thought, ‘I could probably do it without compensation, like I just really want to do this,’” Codi said. “However, I think it’s important now that I’ve gone through it, to say it was very valuable. The compensation made it feel like I was valued in that sense.”

Surrogates are valued beyond measure and, truthfully, their decision to carry your child for you is selfless, loving and priceless.

Alicia, a surrogate through American Surrogacy, talks about how compensation helped her reach her educational goals and created opportunities to spend time with her daughter.

“I did not know what I was going to do with the money ahead of time,” Alicia said. “The first time around I did know that I was going to go to nursing school with the money, which I did get to do that, and that was very helpful. The second time around…I used the money for expenses and also for my daughter. So, trips with her — we went on vacations a lot. I used a lot of the money for her…to show my appreciation for her being so understanding and just a great little helper while I was going through the process.”

Remember, when a prospective surrogate agrees to carry your child, she’s not doing it for the money. But, she certainly deserves the reimbursement and compensation that she receives. Although she truly desires to help you start or grow your family out of the kindness and love in her heart, her time and her body deserve respect. Your surrogate is choosing to help you in a special and intimate way. She receives 10 months of compensation while you receive the priceless gift of a new family member and a lifetime of love.

5 Things to Look for When Choosing an Egg or Sperm Donor [Beyond Physical Appearance and Health]

If you’re looking for a sperm or egg donor (or maybe even both) to help you complete your surrogacy process, you’re choosing more than a photo out of a pile – you’re choosing the person who will be 50% of your child’s biological origin. This is hugely significant not just for you and the donor, but for your child.

Whether you’re considering asking someone you know to be your donor, or you’re thinking about working with a professional donor clinic, there are 5 important things you always need to look for when choosing a gamete donor:

1. Someone Willing to Sign a Donor Contract

Even if your donor is your most trusted friend, legal protection through a donor contract is necessary for everyone involved. Having this important document will ensure that you, your donor, and your child are all protected from potential legal complications that could cost you no small amount of money, time, or tears.  

Many family law attorneys; in particular, attorneys who have experience with surrogacy and A.R.T. law will be able to create a donor contract for you. If you have any questions about donor contracts or if you need an attorney referral, your American Surrogacy specialist can help.

2. Someone Willing to Be Identified

If our roots in open adoption have taught us anything, it’s that children should know their history. While you will always be your child’s parent, your child’s donor still represents a very important part of their identity and history. Losing or even hiding that biological link would be detrimental to your child.

Instead of choosing an anonymous donor, we strongly encourage intended parents to consider working with a known donor or to choose an identified donor through a donor bank or clinic. Many donor clinics have exclusively moved toward working with donors who are willing to be identified, because in today’s world of at-home DNA tests and ancestry websites, there is no such thing as true anonymity.

Having a donor who is willing to answer your child’s questions someday can be invaluable.

3. Someone with an In-Depth Profile

Again, because donors today aren’t truly anonymous, it’s standard practice to provide a complete profile. When looking at a potential donor’s profile, it should include:

  • Their social and medical history.
  • Family medical history.
  • Details about their education and occupation.
  • Their interests and hobbies.
  • Their marital status.
  • Information about any children they’re raising, or any children conceived through their contributions as a donor.
  • Photos of themselves as an adult and a child.
  • Details about whether or not they’d be open to contact from donor-conceived children.
  • Details about whether or not they’d be open to helping families have biologically connected siblings.
  • And more.

Intended parents commonly focus on the physical appearance of the donor first. But remember that a child can inherit much more than looks from a donor. Personality, quirks and traits can also be genetically inherited, to a degree.

Nobody can precisely predict how their child will look or what their child will be like — regardless of whether that child is conceived “the old fashioned way” or via donor gametes. However, a donor’s profile can give some insight into 50% of your child’s genetic heritage.

4. Someone Who Understands the Responsibilities of Being a Donor

If a donor is willing to sign a legal contract, willing to be identified and is also willing to provide an in-depth profile full of information, they probably understand the responsibility of being a donor! Whether you’re looking for a donor through a clinic or you’re considering taking a friend up on their offer to be your donor, the right donor will understand that this is a big responsibility. Whenever you’re considering a potential donor, look for someone who understands:

  • Your child may one day have questions about their biological roots.
  • Their willingness to receive contact from you and/or your child if medical or personal questions ever arise can be incredibly beneficial.
  • They have no parental responsibilities ­­– legal, financial, emotional or otherwise, but they will still be an important aspect of this child’s history.
  • The importance of updating you and/or your child if they learn of any new medical concerns that could affect a donor-conceived child.

5. Consider If You Might Like Biologically Related Siblings Someday

Maybe you’re thinking about having more than one child with the assistance of a donor and/or gestational carrier, this is something you’ll want to specify in your search. Some intended parents like the idea of their children being either full- or half-biological siblings. This is an entirely personal decision, but some intended parents opt for this route because:

  • They don’t want to have to search for a donor more than once.
  • It may make medical updates or potential communication with the donor a bit easier.
  • They want their children to have a biological connection within the family.

Some donors only contribute to a clinic once, while others will donate many times. If genetically related siblings are something that you might want, you can specify this preference with a gamete bank. If you’re accepting a donated gamete from a personal acquaintance, you may first want to ask if they’d be willing to donate more than once.


Already found a donor? Ready to begin the surrogacy process? Then it’s time to find a gestational carrier. We can help. Contact us now to get more information.

5 Weird Tips to Improve Egg Quality

If you’re an intended parent, you probably have a lot of questions when it comes to IVF. One of them might be:

“Is there a way that I can improve my egg quality?”

Why Egg Quality Is Important in Surrogacy

While some intended parents will use a donor egg, other intended parents hope to use their own eggs in the gestational surrogacy process. Eggs can be surgically retrieved from an intended mother, and her fertility clinic can combine the most viable of those eggs with sperm from a donor or an intended father to create an embryo. That embryo can then be transferred to a gestational surrogate’s uterus.

But, egg quality is one factor that can directly impact whether or not the transfer will result in a pregnancy. So, some intended mothers will try to increase their chances of producing as many healthy eggs as possible leading up to their retrieval procedure.

It might sound surprising, but there are actually a few tricks that you can check out. To help make things easier for you, we’ve compiled a few of them into this guide. But if you’d like to talk to one of our specialists to learn more, you can fill out our free information form.

In the meantime, check out these surprising tips to improve egg quality.

1. Try Acupuncture

Acupuncture has been around for thousands of years. But did you know that some intended moms also use this well-known method to improve IVF success rates?

It might sound surprising, but a number of women have attributed their success to this medical technique. Here are two ways that acupuncture may help improve egg quality and potentially increase egg production:

  • Improved Blood Flow: There are two big things that can lead to a decline in blood flow to the uterus and ovaries: stress and aging. But acupuncture can actually increase blood flow by slowing down (also known as de-regulating) the nervous system. This will cause your blood vessels to dilate, which means that they’ll start to widen. When this happens, your blood vessels may release more nutrients to the ovaries and uterus, which may help create healthy eggs.
  • Reduces Stress: Many people rely on acupuncture for stress relief. When needles are inserted into the skin at specific points, the body will release endorphins, also known as your natural pain-relief chemicals. These hormones produced by your brain and nervous system can lift you out of a bad mood and can help alleviate stress.

Most doctors recommend that you begin acupuncture sessions at least 3 months before going to your IVF cycle appointment. To learn more about whether or not acupuncture may help you, we recommended talking to your doctor!

2. Exercise

Exercise and maintaining a healthy weight are one of the most important tips you can follow when you’re going through IVF. While it’s generally a good idea to abstain from strenuous activities, studies have shown that having a healthy BMI is linked to positive IVF success. Activities like light to moderate weight lifting, walking, using an elliptical and light yoga are good options to choose from. 

3. Eat well

Eating healthy foods won’t just make you feel better; it will help your eggs stay healthy, too. Eating plenty of leafy greens, whole grains and fresh fruits and vegetables should be part of your diet. And of course, you’ll want to avoid processed foods, fast food and too much sugar.

4. Manage your stress

You might know that overexerting yourself can quickly take a toll on your mental and physical health. But did you know that stress can affect your egg production, too? When you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, try to take a step back and look for ways to reduce your stress. A good book, practicing yoga or meditation and light exercise can help take your mind off what’s worrying you.

5. Take Supplements

Taking your vitamins can actually be a good way to increase your egg quality. In one study, women who took DHEA fertility supplements were even able to produce more eggs. Coenzyme Q10 is another option that might help. In general, a good quality multi-vitamin that includes vitamins like A, zinc, magnesium, iron might help you see an improvement.  As always, consult your doctor before you take any new supplements or vitamins.

6. Consider Minimal Stimulation IVF

In some cases, egg retrieval following minimal stimulation produced better quality eggs. With this type of treatment, the goal is to grow fewer but higher-quality follicles. While this method produces fewer eggs, focusing on higher quality may help you get the most out of egg retrieval day. Ask your fertility specialist if this might be a good option for you.

The IVF process takes patience, and we know it can be tough – physically and emotionally. If you’d like to speak with your specialist about more tips to improve your egg quality as you begin the surrogacy process (or about surrogacy in general), you can reach out to us through our free information form to learn more.