Moving from Infertility to Surrogacy: When It's Right

Taking the steps from infertility to surrogacy can be hard, but when you know you're ready for surrogacy after infertility, start with American Surrogacy.

Infertility can be a long journey full of emotional ups and downs. If you’ve been struggling with infertility and infertility treatments for months or years, you may wonder what is left for you to try.

Sometimes, people like you turn to surrogacy as another infertility option to pursue, especially if medical treatments like in vitro fertilization haven’t resulted in success. However, knowing when to move from infertility to surrogacy can be a difficult decision to make, especially if you are still dreaming of experiencing the pregnancy process yourself.

Ultimately, no one can make this decision but you. If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut with no prospect of success, American Surrogacy and many other infertility professionals encourage you to evaluate your remaining options to see if surrogacy or another third-party reproductive treatment may have a greater possibility of success.

We know that giving up the dream of carrying a pregnancy yourself can be difficult, and this is not a decision you can make overnight. Everyone is different, and you may have different concerns than others about surrogacy after infertility — which is completely normal. However, if you’re even considering moving from infertility to surrogacy, here are some things to think about.

How to Know if You’re Ready to Move from Infertility to Surrogacy

There is no single way to determine whether you’re ready to move from infertility to surrogacy. Each person’s infertility situation is different and so are the factors that determine whether they should move to a new infertility treatment.

However, many people who choose surrogacy after infertility experience common emotions and difficulties before they decide to pursue the surrogacy process.

In most cases, couples who decide to pursue surrogacy have already gone through months or years of other infertility treatments with no success. They are exhausted by the time and energy that has gone into those methods, and they may have seen their relationship struggle because of the stress and disappointment they have experienced. Their life may have even been put on hold as they were pursuing these infertility methods.

If you feel like you and your partner are fighting an uphill battle with no hope in sight, it may be time to change your current infertility treatment plan. Do you think now may be the time to pursue surrogacy or another infertility option? We encourage you to ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you ready to move on from your current infertility treatments?

Before you decide to move to surrogacy, it’s important that you recognize the current state of your infertility treatment plan — and whether your current treatments are providing you the results you want. Deciding to pursue surrogacy after other infertility treatments means putting all of your focus and determination into this new process. Any remaining interest or hope you have in the other infertility treatments should be exhausted or redirected into surrogacy to provide the best results possible.

2. Are you more interested in experiencing parenthood than pregnancy?

When you decide on surrogacy after infertility, you must be prepared for the losses you will experience with this infertility treatment. Whereas other infertility options like IVF or gamete donation can give you the chance of being pregnant, surrogacy does not. It’s normal to grieve the loss of the pregnancy experience before starting the surrogacy process, but if this is a loss that you cannot recover from or one that will make surrogacy incredibly difficult for you, you may not be ready to move to this assisted reproduction method. On the other hand, if you know that being parents is more important than being pregnant for you, you may be ready for surrogacy after infertility.

3. Are you ready to let someone else carry your baby to term?

When you are an intended parent completing the surrogacy journey, you will experience a loss of control when it comes to your baby’s development. While you and your surrogate will sign a contract of legal expectations and responsibilities before starting, you must be comfortable with the fact that you won’t be there for every minute of your surrogate’s pregnancy. Remember, all surrogates are thoroughly screened to make sure they’re medically and emotionally ready for the surrogacy process, but there is still a degree of trust you must have before moving from infertility to surrogacy. If you are ready to relinquish that sense of control, you might be ready for the surrogacy process.

4. Do you have embryos left over from your infertility treatments?

Many intended parents choose surrogacy when they have completed processes like IVF to no avail but still have remaining embryos from their infertility journey. Rather than take another chance of failure with the infertility methods they’ve been using, they choose to instead transfer an embryo to a potentially healthier uterus of a surrogate. Many intended parents see this as their last chance for their remaining embryos. If you are in the same situation, you may wish to seriously consider surrogacy.

5. Are you and your partner on the same page about surrogacy?

One of the most important things to ask yourself when deciding to move from infertility to surrogacy is whether you and your partner both have the same goals for your infertility treatment — and whether you’re both ready to move on to another treatment method. If you aren’t on the same page about the process that you’re going through, you will likely end with feelings of resentment, anger and disappointment. Unless both of you are completely committed to the surrogacy process and have moved forward from past disappointments, your journey to parenthood won’t be the beautiful, positive process that it can be.

It’s important to recognize that these are just a few signs that you may be ready to move from infertility to surrogacy, but the decision will always be up to you. If you’re considering moving on to a different infertility treatment, it’s important that you, your partner and your fertility specialist discuss in length what options are available to you, whether you’re emotionally ready for this change and what steps to take to make the change happen.

American Surrogacy’s Requirements for Moving from Infertility to Surrogacy

At American Surrogacy, we want to make sure that every intended parent who works with us knows what the process will entail. Surrogacy is a huge commitment to make, so if you’re pursuing surrogacy after infertility, you’ll need to be 100 percent sure that it’s the right path for you — and you’re ready to move on from other infertility treatments you’ve been considering.

Like will all intended parents, we require that those who are looking to complete surrogacy after infertility have accepted the losses associated with gestational surrogacy, evaluated and worked through any emotional issues that might arise in surrogacy (like jealousy of the surrogate, especially if there is a relationship between her and the intended mother) and are ready to commit to any potential challenges along the way as a team.

Our surrogacy specialists take certain steps to make sure that all intended parents are truly ready for the surrogacy process. All prospective parents must complete a screening process, through which we’ll learn more about the journey you took to get to surrogacy and help you work through any remaining emotional issues or concerns you have about the surrogacy process. We’ll also answer any questions you have along the way, so you can make sure you truly understand and are prepared for what surrogacy will mean for you.

Remember, pursuing surrogacy is not a choice you can make quickly, and it’s not the right one for everyone. However, if you’re looking to move forward from your infertility and continue your parenthood journey with a new process, surrogacy might be the answer for you. To learn more today (with no obligation to start the surrogacy process until you’re 100 percent ready), please contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).