If you’re considering identified surrogacy as an intended parent, you probably have a few reasons for doing so. Perhaps a friend knowing of your infertility struggles has already offered up her surrogate services, or you have a close friend in mind that you think would be the perfect surrogacy partner.
In addition to an existing friendship, there may be another big reason why you’re considering this path: the reduced surrogacy cost with a friend.
It’s true; when you pursue surrogacy with a friend, your surrogacy costs may be significantly reduced. Many times, this can be an invaluable advantage for intended parents like you. While you should never pursue an identified surrogacy solely because of this cost, we understand how helpful reducing your overall costs can be — which is why American Surrogacy is here to help.
At our agency, we offer a special program for intended parents completing surrogacy with a friend. To get more information about our program fees, you can always contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229). In the meantime, you can find some general information about your expected surrogacy cost with a friend below.
How Much is Surrogacy if You Use a Friend?
Intended parents who are considering identified surrogacy have many questions, but one of the biggest is: “How much does it cost to have a surrogate mother if it’s a friend?”
Many assume that the costs of surrogacy with a friend are much cheaper than with a stranger, and they’re right. Finding the perfect surrogate through an agency can take time and effort, and you would need to pay fees for those matching services as you wait for your surrogacy partner to come along. But, if you already have a gestational carrier, you won’t need those services — and you won’t have to pay for them.
American Surrogacy’s identified surrogacy program reduces our agency costs because you won’t need these services. Your total surrogacy fees will be at a significant discount, and you will retain the right to certain refundable fees like any other intended parent. For an estimate of total surrogacy costs in your situation, please contact our agency.
There’s another factor that commonly affects how much surrogacy is if you use a friend — surrogate base compensation. In many identified surrogacies, a friend may offer her surrogate services altruistically to help out the intended parents. This means she waives her right to her base compensation, a choice which can save her intended parents tens of thousands of dollars.
If you are considering surrogacy with a friend, it’s important that you discuss surrogate base compensation in detail with your gestational carrier and the overall costs of surrogacy with your professionals. Only then can you get the most accurate estimate of expenses moving forward.
Why Do I Need to Pay for Screening and Assessment in Identified Surrogacy?
While you may not need to pay for matching and surrogate compensation costs, you will still need to be prepared for other necessary expenses. Even though you have an established relationship with your gestational carrier, you will both still need to undergo certain assessments and screenings to make sure you are medically, physically and emotionally ready for the challenges and rewards in this upcoming journey.
When asking how much surrogacy is if you use a friend, keep in mind that surrogacy professionals will require some degree of screening, no matter your relationship.
First, this screening will make sure that your surrogate meets the requirements to carry your child. Not every woman can be a gestational carrier. If a friend has offered to become your surrogate, you must make sure that she:
- Has successfully carried a pregnancy to term with no complications
- Is raising a child in her own home
- Is between the ages of 21 and 38
- Has a BMI between 19 and 32
- Has no untreated addiction, abuse (child, sexual or physical), depression, eating disorders or traumatic pregnancy, labor and/or delivery
- And more
There may be exceptions to some of these qualifications on a case-by-case basis, but this can only be evaluated with a full screening and assessment.
But, this isn’t the only reason why you and your surrogate need to complete these steps. When you pursue surrogacy with a friend, you will embark on a very intimate journey and relationship with each other — and there is a possibility for emotional and practical complications along the way. This screening will prepare you for these.
For example, during your screening, your surrogacy professional will ask you and your gestational carrier about:
- Your surrogacy goals and expectations
- Your current relationship and any underlying issues
- Your expectations for contact during the surrogacy process
- Your expectations for contact after the child is born
- Your plans for addressing complicated issues and disagreements along the way
Surrogacy is a journey unlike one you’ve ever taken before. Because of this, you will need to be 100 percent prepared for everything that could go wrong. By completing these screenings and assessments, you will set you and your surrogate up for success — and be ready for the permanent changes in your relationship that this process will bring.
When you work with American Surrogacy, our specialists will help you complete these screenings as part of your overall surrogacy costs with a friend. We will also:
- Obtain and evaluate medical records
- Conduct insurance reviews
- Coordinate escrow services
- And provide other surrogacy services to support you every step of the way
What Should I Consider About Altruistic Surrogacy?
If you’re asking, “How much does it cost to have a friend be a surrogate mother?” it’s important to think about surrogate base compensation. While you may assume that a friend is willing to carry for you altruistically, you should always discuss this decision with her in detail before moving forward.
For a woman who becomes a gestational carrier, this journey is very similar to another job. She will have to give up a good deal of her time, energy and, of course, her body to help you become a parent. She may need to miss time from work and activities with her family, and her everyday lifestyle will have to change as she carries your child. Receiving surrogate compensation can help alleviate the more challenging feelings she may have during this time — which may include frustration, exhaustion and thoughts of being taken advantage of.
You may also consider paying your gestational carrier a small compensation to help you feel better about the situation. Do you want to feel forever indebted to your friend for this gift? Will that impact your relationship moving forward? How would you feel if something went wrong during the surrogacy process and your friend’s life was forever affected?
Of course, the risks and liabilities of your surrogacy process (as well as any surrogate compensation) will be addressed by your surrogacy attorney in your surrogacy contract. However, these are important things to think about as you learn more about how much surrogacy is if you use a friend.
For more information about our agency’s surrogacy costs with a friend, or for more information about identified surrogacy in general, please call our agency today at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).