Surrogacy Options for Lesbian Couples Explained

Creating a family as a lesbian couple is deeply personal and profoundly meaningful. Surrogacy offers a path to parenthood that affirms your love, your identity, and your dreams. Whether you're just starting your research or are ready to take the first step, understanding how surrogacy works for lesbian couples can help you move forward with confidence and clarity.

With the right support, you can build a family that reflects your love story and meets your needs. This guide will walk you through every stage of the process—from choosing an egg donor and understanding reciprocal IVF, to matching with a surrogate and navigating the financial and legal details.

How Surrogacy Works for Lesbian Couples

Surrogacy is a family-building option that allows one or both intended mothers to have a biological connection to their child. Most lesbian couples pursue gestational surrogacy, which means the surrogate carries an embryo created through IVF but is not genetically related to the baby.

Here’s how it works:

1. Choose an egg source: You may use eggs from one of the intended mothers or from a donor.
2. Fertilize the egg with donor sperm: An embryologist performs this step in a lab.
3. Embryo transfer to the surrogate: The embryo is transferred into the gestational carrier’s uterus. The surrogate medical process is designed to ensure safety and success at every stage.
4. Pregnancy and birth: The surrogate carries the pregnancy to term and delivers the baby.

Throughout the process, American Surrogacy provides personalized guidance to ensure your journey is safe, affirming, and legally secure. Learn more about surrogacy and IVF for same-sex couples.

Finding Egg Donors for Lesbian Couples

Selecting an egg donor is a foundational step in the surrogacy process, with lesbian couples generally choosing between using one partner's egg, a known donor, or an anonymous donor bank—each path offering different emotional, legal, and medical implications to consider.

1. One Partner Donates the Egg

Many lesbian couples choose for one partner to provide the egg, allowing for a biological connection, while a surrogate carries the pregnancy after IVF fertilization using donor sperm.

2. Use of a Known Egg Donor

Choosing a known egg donor—such as a friend or relative—can offer a sense of connection and trust, but it also introduces legal, medical, and relational complexities that must be carefully navigated with professional support.

3. Use of an Anonymous Donor

Anonymous egg donor banks give you access to a broad selection of candidates, each with detailed medical histories, genetic screenings, and personal profiles—empowering you to make an informed and intentional match for your family-building goals.

Factors to Consider

• Consider how the donor's physical appearance and ethnic background may influence your child's identity, sense of heritage, and potential resemblance to your family.
• A donor's health and genetic history can influence not only your child's future well-being, but also the medical screenings and legal considerations required for a successful surrogacy journey.
• Reviewing a donor's education and personal interests can offer insight into their values, personality, and lifestyle—factors that may influence your connection to them and your child's future identity.
• A donor's willingness for future contact can shape your family's long-term relationship with the donor, influence your child’s access to personal history, and support open-identity values if desired.

A knowledgeable surrogacy agency can guide you through evaluating donor profiles, understanding medical and legal considerations, and selecting someone who aligns with your vision for family and future connection.

What Is Reciprocal IVF—and Is It Considered Surrogacy?

Reciprocal IVF allows both partners in a lesbian couple to share a biological role in conception—one contributes the egg, while the other carries the pregnancy—creating a uniquely collaborative and affirming family-building experience. This option can deepen emotional connection and shared parenthood while requiring careful planning, fertility coordination, and legal support.

Although often referred to as "partner IVF," reciprocal IVF is not considered surrogacy because the person carrying the child is a biological parent and legal intended mother, rather than a third-party gestational carrier.

Many couples are drawn to reciprocal IVF because it allows both partners to have a physical connection to the child: one through biology, the other through pregnancy. This method can be used independently or in combination with the surrogacy process if one partner is unable to carry the pregnancy.

How We Match Lesbian Couples with Qualified Surrogates

Selecting the right surrogate is a pivotal part of the process, and our team ensures each match prioritizes medical safety, emotional compatibility, and logistical readiness to support a smooth and successful journey.

Our Matching Process Includes:

• Screened Surrogates: Each surrogate undergoes comprehensive screening—including medical, psychological, and criminal background evaluations—to ensure she meets strict physical and emotional health standards and is fully prepared for the demands of the surrogacy process. Learn more about our surrogate screening process.
• Personalized Matching: Our team takes time to understand your values, lifestyle, communication style, and parenting goals to ensure your surrogate match supports not just a successful pregnancy, but a collaborative and affirming relationship throughout the journey.
• Fast Match Times: Thanks to our active network of pre-screened surrogates, many lesbian couples are matched in as little as 1–3 months, allowing you to move forward with IVF and embryo transfer on a timeline that aligns with your readiness and goals. Become a parent faster.
• Continued Support: Our surrogacy specialists provide consistent guidance and advocacy from your initial consultation through the match process, pregnancy milestones, and delivery—ensuring you feel supported, informed, and empowered at every stage of the journey.

Finding the right surrogate means more than checking boxes. It’s about building a respectful, affirming relationship that supports a healthy pregnancy and a shared sense of purpose. Learn more about finding surrogate mothers for same-sex couples.

Cost of Surrogacy for Lesbian Couples

Surrogacy is a significant financial commitment, and transparency is essential. The total cost for lesbian couples pursuing surrogacy in the U.S. typically ranges from $100,000 - $200,000+.

Costs include:

• IVF and fertility clinic fees: These cover the medical procedures required to create and transfer embryos, including egg retrieval, fertilization, embryo culture, and the embryo transfer itself—foundational steps that make biological parenthood possible through surrogacy.
• Surrogate compensation and medical expenses: These cover the surrogate's time, effort, and health needs throughout pregnancy—including base pay, maternity-related costs, and medical care—which are essential to ensuring her well-being and a healthy outcome for the baby. Why surrogates are paid
• Legal fees and contracts: These expenses cover essential legal services like drafting your surrogacy agreement, establishing parental rights, and navigating varying state laws—ensuring that both intended mothers are fully protected and legally recognized.
• Agency support and coordination: These fees ensure expert guidance through every phase of your journey, including matching, case management, communication between parties, and navigating logistics—helping you avoid delays, reduce stress, and stay focused on building your family.
• Insurance and travel expenses: These costs typically include health insurance coverage for the surrogate during pregnancy and any travel-related expenses for appointments, delivery, or legal proceedings—key components that ensure uninterrupted care and coordination regardless of geographic location.

We understand this number can feel overwhelming, which is why we offer tailored support to help you build a realistic and manageable financial plan. Explore options for affording surrogacy for LGBTQ+ families.

Why LGBTQ+ Families Choose American Surrogacy

American Surrogacy has extensive experience supporting lesbian couples and is known for its inclusive, affirming care.

Inclusive, Experienced, and Connected

We train our staff in LGBTQ+ affirming practices and work only with surrogates who are excited to help LGBTQ+ families. Our trusted legal and fertility partners have deep experience with lesbian couples, ensuring competent care and smoother processes. Read about why intended parents choose the best agency.

Success You Can Count On

Thousands of couples have built families with us and our sister company, American Adoptions. We offer access to peer support, experienced professionals, and high-quality matches—all of which contribute to successful and affirming journeys.

Support That Goes Beyond the Basics

Our services include legal, emotional, and financial support tailored to lesbian couples, so you always feel informed and supported from consultation to parenthood.

How to Get Started With Surrogacy as a Lesbian Couple

Starting your surrogacy journey can feel daunting, but having the right professionals and financial plan makes a big difference. Begin by learning the basics of gestational surrogacy, reciprocal IVF, and egg donation, then have open conversations as a couple about your goals, preferences, and expectations.

Meet with surrogacy agencies, LGBTQ+-friendly fertility clinics, and legal experts to find a supportive team. Speak with a counselor to emotionally prepare, and review insurance coverage and funding options like loans, employer benefits, and grants. With a clear understanding of the process and a realistic budget, you can move forward with confidence.

Moving Forward

Remember that surrogacy is a journey, not a destination. There will be challenges and waiting periods, but with the right support and preparation, you can navigate this process successfully and welcome your child with joy and confidence. Our experienced team is ready to support you through every step of the way.

Ready to see how surrogacy can help you build your family?

Explore Our LGBTQ+ Surrogacy Programs