Becoming a surrogate is a life-changing decision — and you’re likely excited about the opportunity to get started. Like many surrogates, you may have chosen surrogacy to help create a family where there wasn’t one before. Therefore, you’re probably curious about how to find intended parents that are perfect for you.
At American Surrogacy, we understand how important finding intended parents who suit your preferences and desires can be. Unlike other surrogacy professionals, we believe the matching process should be mutual — which is why we give you the chance to find intended parents based on in-depth questionnaires, family profiles and even conference calls to get to know each other.
When you commit to a year or more of the surrogacy process, it’s important that you’re comfortable with the intended parents you’re assisting. After all, these are the people who will be your partners through the most intimate parts of your surrogacy process – from your medical procedures and exams to your eventual hospital stay. Therefore, knowing how to find intended parents that you’re comfortable with can be intimidating if you don’t work with a proper surrogacy professional like American Surrogacy. We make sure that every surrogate looking for intended parents finds the right match to ensure a successful surrogacy process every step of the way.
Your surrogacy specialist will help you find the perfect intended parents with the following steps:
1. Create Your Profiles
We will work with you to complete your Surrogate Profile, which is your opportunity to communicate to prospective intended parents and best find intended parents that meet your preferences. This profile will include pictures and information about yourself, including your experience with surrogacy, your motivations as a surrogate and much more.
When you’re finding intended parents, your profile is the first impression intended parents will have of you as a surrogate. While there’s no “perfect” way to create a Surrogate Profile, your surrogacy specialist can help identify important things to include that might catch intended parents’ attention. However, there’s no need to stress when creating this profile with us; just focus on including what makes you unique, we’ll put it all together and your perfect match for intended parents will find you. Your surrogacy specialist will walk you through the profile creation process and be able to answer any questions you have about how to find intended parents with this tool.
You can find examples of some surrogate profiles here.
2. Find a Match
Once your Surrogate Profile is completed, you will officially be active with American Surrogacy! Your profile will be shown to intended parents as they work with our surrogacy specialists.
As intended parents express interest in you, you will then have an opportunity to view their Intended Parent Profile as well — an integral part of finding intended parents who are perfect for you.
You have final approval with whom you match and, remember, you are never legally committed to a family until you complete your medical screening and sign your legal contract.
But, when you’re a surrogate looking for intended parents, you don’t have to base your decision entirely on their profiles. In fact, you will have the opportunity to ask intended parents any remaining questions you have yourself — through a conference phone call mediated by our surrogacy specialists.
3. Engage in a Conference Call
Many of our surrogacies involve the surrogate and intended parents communicating with one another via a conference call, mediated by a surrogacy specialist. This interaction will allow you to introduce yourselves to one another, explain any preferences you may have and determine if this is indeed a good match.
After you find intended parents who you think might be a good match, your surrogacy specialist will help you prepare for this conversation. One of the things you’ll probably wonder is, “What questions should I ask to intended parents?”
Generally, you’ll want to find a balance between surrogacy-related questions and personal questions to ask. While it’s important that you find intended parents who have the same surrogacy goals as you, it’s also important that you and the intended parents get along and feel like you can have an intimate relationship moving forward. Even if you have the same surrogacy goals, if you don’t feel like intended parents are a good fit for you relationship-wise, you can decide to continue looking for intended parents that you’re more comfortable with.
Your surrogacy specialist will help you develop some questions to ask intended parents to make sure they’re the right fit for you. It might also be beneficial to write down all the questions you have ahead of time so you can make sure they’re answered in this first phone call.
Some questions to ask might be:
- Can you tell me about your decision to choose surrogacy and the journey that led to this choice?
- What kind of relationship do you want from me as a surrogate before, during and after the surrogacy is complete?
- Do we see eye-to-eye on how the pregnancy will progress? What are your thoughts on number of embryo transfer attempts, multiples and selective reduction of embryos?
- How do you envision the birth of your child?
- Would you be open to my family and children meeting you during the surrogate pregnancy?
- What are you going to tell your child about their surrogacy?
While some of these questions may have been answered in their Intended Parent Profile, it’s always a good idea to hear their answers in their own words. Getting to know the intended parents is an important part of finding intended parents that are right for you, and this conference call is a great opportunity to learn whether you and the intended parents will work well together.
Once you are both ready to move forward, you will each undergo medical screening at your clinic. After you pass that screening, you will both meet with your own attorney to sign the contract! From there, your surrogacy process will get started.
A Note About Finding Intended Parents on the Internet
It’s not uncommon for surrogates to wish to bypass surrogacy agencies and find intended parents online. There are many intended parents “classifieds” in internet surrogacy groups and forums, but we strongly advise against you finding intended parents and completing an independent surrogacy on your own.
While there are likely plenty of well-meaning intended parents looking to complete an independent surrogacy, without them undergoing proper screening and vetting by an experienced surrogacy agency, there is always a risk for a surrogate mother looking for intended parents. Intended parents found independently may not pass all of the requirements that surrogacy agencies set, and you should proceed with caution if you find intended parents in this way. Remember, our matching services are completely free to you as a surrogate looking for intended parents.
If you happen to find intended parents on your own, we can still screen and vet them when you work with our surrogacy agency. That way, you’ll be provided peace of mind that you may not get during an independent surrogacy.
As you can see, American Surrogacy takes the matching process very seriously to ensure that you find intended parents who are absolutely perfect for you. We want this experience to be as fulfilling as possible for you, and the only way we can promise that is by providing you with the best intended parents in the country and giving you the power to select the right situation for you.
Contact a surrogate specialist at 1-800-875-2229 today to learn more about how to find intended parents with American Surrogacy or start your surrogacy process.