Being a Surrogate for Intended Parents You've Found Yourself

If you're a prospective surrogate, you have the chance to find intended parents on your own. But, what does this process entail, and is it really the right path for you?

Finding intended parents to be a surrogate for can be one of the most exciting parts of your surrogacy journey. If you’re pursuing surrogacy, you probably know that there are many ways to find the perfect surrogacy partner — and not all of them are handled through a surrogacy agency. If you are considering finding intended parents on your own, you are considering an independent or identified surrogacy journey, often called an “indy” journey among surrogates like yourself.

An identified surrogacy can be a great opportunity for surrogates who want to be closely involved in every step of their surrogacy process, but it’s a choice that a woman should only make after she fully understands what this journey will entail. If you’ve thought about taking the “indy” route and finding intended parents yourself, we first encourage you to contact our surrogacy specialists. They can help you understand the process ahead of you and what will be required when you take this journey. With this information, you can make the best decision for you and your own family.

Reasons to Find Your Own Intended Parents

As you research surrogacy, you will find many women out there waiting to find their perfect intended parents. Typically, these women advertise their availability on surrogacy blogs and websites, and many of them have been through the independent surrogacy process before.

There are always pros and cons to finding intended parents on your own and completing an independent surrogacy journey. Talking to some of these other surrogates could help provide the answers that you need. But, how will you know if finding your own intended parents is right for you?

Your decision is always personal, but there a few common reasons why you may be considering this path:

  1. You want to be a traditional surrogate. Most surrogacy agencies only complete gestational surrogacies, which means you will need to be a gestational surrogate if you find intended parents through these professionals. Therefore, women who wish to donate their eggs to their intended parents often choose to find these parents on their own — because it is usually the only option for them.
  2. You are experienced in the surrogacy process. It’s common for first-time surrogates to work with a surrogacy agency to find intended parents and be guided through the surrogacy process but, if you have been a surrogate before, you may already know how the whole process works. You might feel like you don’t need the support and assistance of a surrogacy agency and, so, you wish to complete the journey with more personal control over every decision you make.
  3. You want to save your intended parents some expenses. When intended parents find surrogates through matching professionals, they pay the matching fees for themselves and their surrogate. Surrogates who choose independent journeys save their intended parents from needing those services, which can reduce their overall cost of surrogacy. It’s a very selfless move for a prospective surrogate to make.

Where to Find Intended Parents

So, you’ve decided that you want to find your own intended parents. Now, you may wonder: How does this work?

There are a few different ways that women can find intended parents to carry for. The most popular is through online methods — such as surrogacy websites, “intended parents wanted” ads, support groups, social media and more. In fact, whole websites have developed around the idea of matching surrogates and intended parents.

You may consider resources such as:

If you wish to find intended parents, you will first need to determine what kind of parents you wish to carry for. You can decide things like race, gender, marital status and more. You’ll use these characteristics in your personal surrogacy advertisements to reach out to prospective intended parents. From there, you will discuss with those parents exactly what your surrogacy goals and preferences are to determine if you are on the same page moving forward.

It can take some time to find the perfect intended parents on your own, and you should be prepared for the extra wait you might experience in your independent journey. You may have conversations with a few different intended parents before you find the ones that are right for you, so it’s important to be patient. If you do struggle with finding the right intended parents, know that you can reach out to a surrogacy agency at any time to start the agency-assisted matching process.

What Happens Next in an Identified Surrogacy?

If you find intended parents on your own, your surrogacy will proceed in the same way as it would if you had found intended parents through a matching professional. You and your intended parents will need to go through screening (if you haven’t already) to ensure that you are medically and emotionally prepared for the challenges and rewards of the surrogacy process. You will need to work with separate lawyers to create a legal surrogacy contract detailing all the expectations and steps in your upcoming journey. Once that is done, you’ll need to work with a surrogacy clinic to complete the medical process of surrogacy.

Many surrogates who find intended parents on their own choose to complete a fully independent surrogacy journey — but you don’t have to. If you end up finding intended parents on your own, you can still work with a surrogacy agency such as American Surrogacy. In fact, when you do, the surrogacy fees your intended parents will pay will be significantly reduced, while you both receive the same quality case management and support services during your journey. A surrogacy agency can be an invaluable resource for both intended parents and surrogates, especially if this will be your first surrogacy journey. Remember, as a surrogate, our agency services will always be completely free to you.

At American Surrogacy, we are always willing to work with gestational carriers who have found intended parents, whether the parents are relatives, friends or previously unknown strangers. We can help you achieve your dreams of helping to build a family safely and efficiently — being there to support you every step of the way.

To learn more about our identified surrogacy program, please call our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) or contact us online today.