Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month 2023 [Finding Support]

During pregnancy and infant loss awareness month in 2023, we want you to know that you’re not alone. Our specialists are here to help you navigate this difficult loss.

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month and we’re here to raise awareness and honor those that have passed on. The tragedy of experiencing infant and pregnancy loss can take on many forms and is a common experience every year.

If you’ve been personally affected by pregnancy or infancy loss and are in need of support, you can reach out to one of our experienced specialists today by filling out our free form or calling 1-800-875-BABY.

Many families experiencing a loss often find themselves feeling like they need to grieve alone. But, know that you don’t have to face these feelings on your own. During infant loss month, we aim to shed light on ways to commemorate your loss, find support and cope in a healthy way.

How to Cope During Pregnancy and Infant Lost Awareness Month [Finding support]

When you experience a loss, you might not know where to turn to help process your grief. Fortunately, there are plenty of resources out there that can help you as you navigate this difficult experience. Here are some steps you can take to cope during pregnancy infant loss month:

Step 1: Reach out to someone you can talk to

The pain of losing a child or pregnancy is one of the hardest things you can experience. Talking to someone you trust can help you acknowledge your grief in a healthy way. Reach out to a spouse, parent, sibling, friend or surrogacy specialist. Verbally processing your emotions can help as you navigate the wave of emotions that come with loss.

By sharing your thoughts, you may feel less alone in your journey and can gain a sense of validation for your emotions. You’ll be able to express your thoughts and feelings, gain perspective and feel supported. Reaching out to someone is a reminder that you’re not alone in your journey.

Step 2: Find a support group in your area

Finding a local support group can be a valuable way to cope with grief and loss. If you can’t find any support groups in your area, you can explore online resources like websites, forums and social media groups from people who have also experienced pregnancy or infant loss.

By actively seeking out and participating in a support group, you can find comfort in the shared experiences of others who have been in your shoes, helping you navigate the journey of pregnancy and infant loss. During infant and pregnancy loss awareness month, connecting with a support group can be beneficial for your health and wellbeing.

There are surrogacy groups listed below that can help you cope with grief and connect with those that have had similar experiences:

Step 3: Find a way to commemorate your loss in a meaningful way

During pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, finding a way to commemorate your loss can help with the healing process. You can create a personal memorial or ritual that honors the memory of your child. This can involve planting a tree, creating a garden or dedicating a special place in your home with photos or mementos. Lighting a candle or releasing balloons with messages can also be a good gesture.

You can also raise awareness during infant loss month by volunteering with organizations that support families that have experienced infant and pregnancy loss. This can help you find purpose and connection within a community who shares your experiences.

Your Journey Isn’t Over

Experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever go through. But, it’s not the end of your journey. There are alternative family-building options that are becoming more popular and accessible. Your dreams of starting or building your family can be fulfilled after infertility.

Whether you’re still trying to have a baby or are ready to explore your options, there are two ways you can fulfill your dreams of becoming parents during infant and pregnancy loss awareness month:

  • Adoption: If you’re looking to start or expand your family through adoption, domestic infant adoption is often the most common route for hopeful parents. This type of adoption involves a prospective birth mother creating an adoption plan for her unborn baby. She then chooses adoptive parents that match what she’s looking for. You’ll be able to create a profile that explains your hobbies, interests, lifestyle and more. Then after the birth, you get to welcome a newborn home.
  • Surrogacy: The surrogacy process can be another great way to grow your family. There are several ways you can find a match, choose a gamete donor and complete other aspects of the process. The most important step is finding the right surrogacy agency to work with. To learn more about the surrogacy process with American Surrogacy, contact us online now to speak with a specialist.

If moving forward seems impossible, it may help to read stories from others who have been in your shoes. You’re not alone and there will always be a brighter future ahead.

Contact Us Today

If you want to speak with a surrogacy specialist about pursing surrogacy after infertility, then please contact us online. We’re always here to provide support during miscarriage infant loss awareness month and beyond[SP1] .  


4 Questions about Surrogacy for Infertile Couples

Surrogacy for infertile couples can be a turning point in their journey to parenthood. We want to help you achieve those goals.

Infertility creates a long and emotional journey for many couples. From doctor appointments to infertility treatments to money spent, we know there are so many hurdles you’ve overcome to try to create the family you’ve always dreamed of.

To get more information about how the surrogacy process can benefit you in your unique situation, reach out to a surrogacy professional today.

Deciding on surrogacy for infertile couples can be a turning point in their journey to parenthood. The choice to go through the surrogacy process may be a big decision, but we’re here to help you choose if surrogacy is right for you. If you’ve been struggling to decide what the best next steps are for you and your family, we urge you to ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is surrogacy right for you and your partner?

Making decision to move on to a new chapter can be difficult. It may mean giving up on another way of trying to have a child that you had put a lot of hope into. Surrogacy for infertile couples may be something to pursue on their journey to parenthood. Deciding to begin another route to becoming parents can be challenging both emotionally and physically. If you’ve been going through fertility treatments and shots and constantly checking in with your body, it can sometimes feel like a relief to move on from strict and strategic treatments. Talk with your partner and discuss if this feels like the right move for you.

2. Are you ready for someone else to carry your child?

This can be difficult, especially for intended mothers, and that is 100% understandable. Know that however you feel about it is valid. If you’ve been going through infertility struggles, talking to a therapist may be something you’re already doing. But talking out these thoughts with a professional can help if you are choosing to pursue surrogacy. Discuss what surrogacy options for infertile couples can do to help you achieve your goals.

3. Do you have embryos left over from fertility treatments?

A large decision intended parents have to make when it comes to surrogacy is whether they are going to use their own egg and sperm or a donor’s. If you have already been through fertility treatments like IVF and you have embryos left over, you can use those for surrogacy. This also means that your treatment for the IVF process can still help you achieve your goals. Choosing to transfer one of these embryos to a surrogate can give you a potentially higher chance of a positive outcome.

4. Is becoming a parent more important than being pregnant?

If being pregnant is your goal, surrogacy may not be right for you. Talking to your doctor will help you understand if that is a possibility you can keep trying for, or if you should pursue other routes. Depending on the circumstance, some doctors may recommend surrogacy for infertile couples. If you are at a point in your infertility struggles where you just want to have a baby and be a parent, surrogacy can be a great option.

Surrogacy is a huge commitment, and one we do not take lightly. We want to help you achieve your goals of starting a family through surrogacy for infertile couples. You’ve been through enough and we want to be the last stop on your journey to parenthood. Choosing surrogacy after infertility is a big step and we’re ready to help you get started. Reach out to a surrogacy specialist today.

Deciding Between Surrogacy Vs Adoption

Discover the pros and cons of surrogacy vs adoption to help you create the family you’ve been dreaming of.

The choice to have a family is always exciting, but deciding how to have a family can be hard.

To get more information about your family-building options, fill out our online form.

For couples and hopeful individuals who cannot have a family on their own, you may be considering alternatives to starting a family. This can likely include surrogacy vs adoption as potential options.

The Pros and Cons of Surrogacy vs. Adoption

Navigating the pros and cons of surrogacy vs. adoption can lead you to your ultimate choice between the two. Learn more about the major points that can help people decide which one to pursue.

Genetics

A gestational surrogate will not share any genetics with your child. The embryo used will either use your egg/sperm or a donor’s. This would mean the child could be biologically yours depending on the egg and sperm you use.

A birth mother will share genetics with the child, which can cause emotional implications as you go through the process. This can make the birth mother feel more attached to the child, possibly having trouble letting go.

Genetics can often play a determining factor in choosing between adoption vs surrogacy. For intended parents who feel strongly about having a genetic link to their child, surrogacy is sometimes the better option. However, if genetics are not something you feel you need to share with your child, adoption can be a great option.

Cost

The cost of surrogacy vs. adoption can be a big determining factor. Adoption can cost intended parents anywhere from $20,000-$50,000 on average. This can be a more affordable option in comparison to surrogacy. Surrogacy can cost an average of $150,000. This includes surrogate pay, agency fees, legal fees and more. Surrogacy is definitely far more expensive than adoption.

Finances can definitely be a deciding factor between surrogacy vs. adoption, but it’s important that you feel confident in your finances. Raising a child has plenty of costs involved in the process, so being aware of how much you may spend to have a child is imperative. Asking an agency to be upfront about their costs of surrogacy can help you financially prepare.

Matching

The matching process for adoption vs. surrogacy is slightly different. The matching process for adoption generally relies heavily on the birth mother and her decision. During the surrogacy process, you will create a profile when you put together your surrogacy plan. This will be advertised to prospective surrogates and your surrogacy specialist will help you connect with your perfect match. We strive to match intended parents and surrogates in 30 to 90 days.

For adoption, the birth mother will choose the parents. You will put together a profile and video to give a little insight into your family and lifestyle so a birth mother can get to know you. Your adoption specialist will help advertise your profile and video to reach a potential birth mother.

Legal Process

The legal process tends to vary between surrogacy vs. adoption. In surrogacy, legal contracts are signed before the medical process can begin. In adoption, the birth parents must give written consent and their rights must be legally terminated after the baby is born. A birth mother also has the option to change her mind at any time until she legally executes her consent. Because the birth mother has the option to change her mind during the pregnancy and after giving birth, it can be an emotionally difficult road to take.

Benefits of Surrogacy vs. Adoption

The benefit of surrogacy vs. adoption is that you will end up with a child, growing the family you’ve always wanted. The choice to grow your family and how you grow your family is ultimately up to you. With surrogacy, you have the opportunity to have a child who is genetically related to you.

You can also be part of the entire pregnancy and be more in control of the situation. With adoption, you get to create a family for a child who needs one. You can create a relationship with the birth mother where everyone is comfortable and create an environment where your child is able to thrive.

No matter which option you choose to create your family, we can help you. Our surrogacy specialists are ready to assist you with the process. Our sister company American Adoptions can also help you get started in your adoption journey. Don’t wait to create the family you’ve always wanted. Contact us today.

Choosing Between IVF and Surrogacy

The process of in vitro fertilization or IVF and surrogacy often come up together. We explain the difference and how you can achieve your dreams of parenthood.

The process of in vitro fertilization or IVF and surrogacy often come up together. And for anyone new to the process, you might have a lot of questions. We have the answers you need

To get more information about IVF and surrogacy, fill out our online form and one of our specialists will help you evaluate your infertility options.

Struggling With Infertility

For anyone struggling with infertility, you may be looking for alternative routes to parenthood. Many people turn to IVF in the beginning of their journey. The IVF process includes:

  • Take fertility drugs
  • Pre-retrieval
  • Sperm sample analysis
  • Insemination
  • Embryo transfer
  • Pregnancy results

This process is a generally effective fertility treatment for those going through infertility. IVF is often times a good option if you have certain health conditions, fallopian tube damage/blockage, ovulation disorders, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, or are experiencing unexplained infertility. The downside to IVF is that it can be a lengthy, expensive and emotional process. The success rate of IVF attempts for people under 35 is 50%, while attempts at ages 42 and over are only at 3.9%

The Difference Between Surrogacy and IVF

One of the main differences between surrogacy and IVF is the carrier of the baby. When people are using IVF, the intended mother is the one carrying the child. The IVF treatments allow her body to prepare to carry a child in ways it otherwise would not be able to. In surrogacy, a surrogate will carry the child. However, the egg of the intended mother may still be used.

If you’ve been working through IVF and are beginning to feel defeated, don’t give up. Your goal to have a family can still be achieved. This is the part of the journey many people may choose to start looking into surrogacy. There are a number of reasons people may choose surrogacy over IVF, including:

  1. They’re ready to move on from IVF treatments.
  2. They’re more interested in becoming a parent than they are in being pregnant.
  3. They’re concerned about the continued cost of IVF.
  4. They only have a few embryos left.
  5. They’ve done their research.

How Surrogacy and IVF Can Work Together

IVF is used in the surrogacy process. Throughout the process you will use IVF to assist in having a healthy surrogacy. They will go through the same IVF process as mentioned above, but through gestational surrogacy, you will help to create the embryo. This will include:

  • The surrogate will undergo IVF to carry and deliver your child
  • You and your partner’s gametes will be used to create the embryo
  • A sperm donor, an egg donor, or both will help create the embryo
  • A fertility clinic will help create the embryo to be transferred to the surrogate
  • The baby will not be related to the surrogate.

How American Surrogacy Can Help

For couples and individuals who dream of becoming parents but face significant challenges in conceiving, surrogacy offers a pathway to realize their dreams. By partnering with American Surrogacy, these intended parents gain access to a network of compassionate and qualified surrogates who selflessly offer to carry and nurture a child on their behalf.

This process not only offers a chance at biological parenthood but also fosters a deep sense of emotional connection and shared purpose between the intended parents and surrogates. American Surrogacy’s comprehensive support, including legal guidance, medical expertise and emotional assistance, helps alleviate the burdens that infertility often brings, allowing intended parents to focus on the joyous journey of parenthood that IVF and surrogacy can make possible.

Start you parenthood journey today. Contact us to get more information about IVF and surrogacy.

Honoring Infertility Awareness Month

June is Infertility Awareness Month. The event was created to help people experiencing infertility discover they aren’t alone and to highlight how they can work through this common diagnosis.

If you’re considering using surrogacy to grow your family, you or your partner may be working through infertility. We want you to know that you’re not alone, and we’re here to support you through whatever stage you’re at in your family-building journey.

Contact us today to connect with a surrogacy specialist who can refer you to a counselor specializing in infertility. With Infertility Awareness Month on the horizon, now is the perfect time to find a professional to help you work through your feelings.

Keep reading to learn about Infertility Awareness Month, how to honor it, and more.

What is Infertility Awareness Month?

June is Infertility Awareness Month. The month-long event was created to bring awareness to how common infertility is and to spotlight the treatments that can help solve some infertility issues.

We’re choosing to honor Infertility Awareness Month by detailing who is affected by it and how people overcome the condition.

Who Experiences Infertility?

According to the National Library of Medicine, 10% to 15% of couples in the United States experience infertility.  Men and women experience infertility at the same rate (10%), and sometimes, a couple’s infertility challenges are because of a combination of several factors.

The following are a few other facts about infertility:

  • A doctor can diagnose infertility when a couple cannot conceive after 12 months of regular, unprotected sex.
  • A doctor can check men and women for infertility through a variety of tests.
  • There are several infertility treatments men, and women can pursue.

Common Infertility Treatments

One of the important aspects of Infertility Awareness Month is ensuring people affected by this common condition know their options. One way to handle infertility is through treatment.

The following are just some of the effective infertility treatments people try:

  • Infertility Medications: Certain medications can be prescribed to men and women to help resolve certain infertility issues.
  • Infertility Surgeries: Men and women may undergo certain surgeries that can help repair internal infertility causes.
  • Assisted Reproductive Technologies:  Recently, IUI and IVF have become more common. These procedures can help couples overcome many infertility challenges and help them conceive.

Embracing Surrogacy After Infertility

One of the final aspects of acknowledging Infertility Awareness Month is working through your feelings on infertility and deciding your next steps.

Working Through Infertility Grief

Choosing when you’re ready to move from infertility treatments to another family-building option like surrogacy isn’t a simple decision.

You and your partner will experience several intense emotions during this time. You may even decide to work with an infertility counselor to help process your feelings.

Even if you decide not to continue your family-building journey this year, you can use this time to work through your grief and allow yourself time to heal.

Choosing Surrogacy

If you and your partner determine that you’re ready to move on from infertility to another family-building option and choose to go forward with surrogacy, congratulations! Surrogacy is a wonderful choice, and it has helped many people become parents.

One of the benefits of working with American Surrogacy for your surrogacy journey is that our agency can provide the essential benefits needed to help you succeed.

The following are some of the most important benefits our agency can provide you:

  • Surrogacy Screening: We’re dedicated to ensuring that hopeful intended parents and prospective surrogates are ready to start the surrogacy process. We do this by coordinating your psychological, medical, and physical screenings.
  • Matchmaking: When you work with our agency, you can expect an average match time of 30 to 90 days. We maintain this by prescreening all hopeful intended parents and surrogates, providing in-house marketing, and keeping a 1:1 intended parent-to-surrogate ratio.
  • Case Management: We will organize and manage your case so you can spend your time focusing on yourself and your surrogacy partner during your surrogacy journey.
  • 24/7 Support: American Surrogacy will provide you with continuous support from licensed social workers from the beginning to the end of their journey.
  • Financial Certainty and Transparency: Our agency offers a transparent fixed cost of $149,900 that covers our services, gestational carrier fees, and medical and legal costs. We also provide a Parent Protection Fee and will organize your journey’s variable fees.

Reach Out to Us Today

This June, we hope you can honor Infertility Awareness Month by caring for yourself. If you need extra support during this time, you can contact us anytime, and we’ll refer you to an infertility counselor who can help you process your emotions.

The Importance of Grieving Infertility Before Pursuing Surrogacy

Becoming a parent is one of life’s greatest joys. As you start the surrogacy process, the last thing you want to think about is your infertility journey. After all, your dreams are finally coming true. Now that parenthood is your destination, you can put those painful memories in the rearview mirror and move forward. What is there to worry about?

A lot, actually.

Before you dive headfirst into the surrogacy process, you need to come to terms with and fully grieve your infertility journey. There’s just no way around it. Any unchecked feelings about your infertility journey will impact your mental health, your parenting experience and your relationship with your child. If you haven’t already accepted your infertility grief, it’s going to be hard to move forward from your loss and give the surrogacy experience your all.

Many intended parents have successful parenting experiences after infertility, but you do need to be aware of the challenges that arise when it comes to parenting after infertility.

Why Accepting Your Infertility is a Crucial First Step

The grief of infertility is a heavy burden to carry. It’s so heavy, in fact, that it will be easy for your child to pick up on any negative emotions that you’re trying to keep bottled up.

Even if you think that you’re doing a good job handling your grief and loss, any resentment you have toward not being able to carry your child yourself will affect your relationship with them and their self-esteem. And often, it can hurt your child for many years to come.

We know that you’re excited to become a parent and that you’re more than ready for this experience. However, becoming a parent when you’re not 100% emotionally ready is not fair to you or your child.

The way you feel about your surrogacy experience will shape how your child sees themselves and how they see the surrogacy process. If you continue to carry around resentment about the surrogacy process, or if you only see surrogacy as the second-best option, your child could start to feel like they’re like they’re the backup plan or like the way they came into this world wasn’t enough for you.

Of course, we know that you never want your child to feel this way. It’s OK if surrogacy wasn’t your first choice, but to prevent your child from ever feeling these painful emotions, you need to heal and fully accept your own fertility loss before moving forward.

You’ll never be able to fully embrace the idea of surrogacy when your heart is still yearning for that pregnancy experience. You might feel like you’re “giving up” by choosing surrogacy instead of sticking with IVF treatments. That’s absolutely not the truth. But, if you’re going to put so much time and energy into this family-building process, then you need to be 100% on board in order to become the best parents a child could ever ask for.

How to Cope with Infertility

Learning how to cope with infertility is the first step toward moving forward. On your journey to parenthood, there are a few ways that you can cope with and eventually accept your infertility.

  • Share your feelings: We know that it’s hard to talk about, but infertility affects more families than you know. If you’re one of the many couples coping with infertility, we know that it can be tough to talk about and be open about what you’re experiencing. But just know that you’re not alone. About 1 in 8 couples experience the devastating heartbreak of infertility. There are people ready to listen to what you’re going through. You can always reach out to an infertility counselor when you need advice.
  • Allow yourself to truly feel your emotions: Going through infertility is already hard enough, so don’t feel like you must keep everything bottled up. You’re not doing yourself or your partner any favors when you pretend that everything is OK when it’s not. Fully embracing each of the stages of grief is the key to moving forward.
  • Be honest with your partner: Your partner will be your closest source of support. What you’re going through right now is incredibly difficult, but it’s important that you don’t suppress feelings that can easily turn into resentment and frustration. Share your fears and worries, and work together to come up with a plan to address them.

Becoming the family you’ve always dreamed of is an incredible feeling. But know that parenting after infertility is not as easy as you might think — especially when you haven’t fully dealt with the loss.

Grieving this loss is often the hardest part about becoming a new family after infertility. It’s not uncommon to have lingering emotions of grief and loss long after infertility. Practice self-care and reach out to professionals to keep yourself as mentally healthy as possible. And, remember, there’s nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready to start your new dream as a family through surrogacy.

Your Child’s Differences Should Be Celebrated

Being born through surrogacy is not something that just happens every day. Your child is going to be curious about this process as they get older, and it is something that should be talked about openly.

Children who are born through surrogacy need to know that their unique story is something to be celebrated and embraced. They need to know their story, and they need to hear it from you.

As they learn more about surrogacy, they’re going to come to you with any questions they may have, and it’s up to you to answer them. It will be hard for you to talk about your struggles with infertility if you haven’t yet healed from that experience.

Start Your Parenting Journey

The grief of infertility is not something that will disappear overnight or when you become a parent. These emotions may come back when you least expect it. But, if you are doing the work that’s needed to cope with these feelings of grief and loss, then you should have no problem moving forward and becoming an amazing parent.

To learn more about how American Surrogacy can help you reach your parenthood goals, please contact our specialists today at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).

Life After Infertility: Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The tragedy of losing a pregnancy or newborn takes many forms and is experienced by thousands every year.

Talking about something as personal as the loss of pregnancy or of a child can be incredibly uncomfortable. This month is an opportunity to push past that discomfort in the hope of offering solidarity and help to those who are struggling with the lasting effects of devastating loss.

There are many aspects of pregnancy and infant loss that are worth discussing. Here, we want to look ahead to life after infertility and pregnancy and infant loss. Even in the darkest moments, there can be a spark of hope ahead.

Giving Grief its Time

Although it may seem counterintuitive, we need to talk about grief before we can talk about hope.

Grief is complicated. It’s not as simple as feeling sad, talking about it and moving on. The weight of grief — and specifically that of infertility and pregnancy loss — can stick with you for years.

We say this not to be discouraging, but to acknowledge an important reality: Although there is hope for a beautiful life after infertility, its impact will never fully disappear. We can’t have an honest discussion about life after infertility and pregnancy loss without honoring the very real and challenging grief of this experience.

Real hope is found in confronting pain, not avoiding it. That’s the first principle of life after infertility and pregnancy loss. Give yourself time to honestly face the loss you’ve experienced — to wrestle with it, feel it deeply and process it fully — before jumping to the next step.

Good is coming, but it can’t be rushed.

When you are on this journey, you may realize that you cannot do it alone. Many others have come to the same breaking point. There’s no shame in this. Reaching out to a counselor or other form of professional help could provide the support you need to carry on. You can use this guide from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine to find counselors who specialize in infertility and pregnancy loss.

Rebuilding Your Dreams

Alternative family-building options are becoming more popular and accessible. This means that your dream of starting (or growing) your family can take on a new shape in life after infertility.

Before we go on to family-building options, it’s important to stop and consider if this is really what you want. Life after infertility looks different for everyone. That could mean that, in your life, your new dreams are not related to building a family. Whatever passions bring your joy, that’s what you should pursue.

If your dream of starting a family is as strong as ever, then there are two primary ways to do that:

Adoption: There are several different ways to adopt. For hopeful parents choosing between adoption and surrogacy, domestic infant adoption is often the route that makes the most sense. This type of adoption involves a prospective birth mother creating an adoption plan for her unborn baby. She then chooses the adoptive parents (that could be you!) and, after birth, the newborn is placed with the parents.

The adoption journey is rarely easy, but it can be a beautiful and life-changing way to build your family. If you’d like more information about adoption, you can contact our sister agency, American Adoptions.

Surrogacy: The surrogacy process can be an amazing way to become parents. There are several different ways to go about finding a match, choosing a gamete donor, and completing other aspects of the process. The most important step to a successful surrogacy process is finding the right agency to work with. If you’d like to learn more about surrogacy, you can contact us at any time to speak with a specialist.

You’re Not Alone

Life after infertility and pregnancy and infant loss will always be impacted by the pain you’ve experienced. But, as you can see above, there are available options that create the opportunity for new life in the midst of the pain.

If you find yourself in a place where moving forward feels impossible, it may help to read the stories of others. You are not alone. Others have carried the same weight, and they can testify to the promise of a bright future.

Everyone is on a unique path. As you can see from these courageous stories, there’s always the chance that, despite the pain of the past, the future is full of goodness.

Contact Us Today

Would you like to speak with a surrogacy professional about surrogacy after infertility? Please contact us online today or call 1-800-875-BABY (875-2229).

5 Signs Surrogacy After IVF is Right for You

Building a family is a lifelong dream for many people, one that can be years in the making. But, if you’ve been struggling with unsuccessful IVF attempts for some time, you might be unsure of what your other options are to make your dreams come true.

It’s common for hopeful parents to turn to gestational surrogacy after IVF and infertility treatments. However, it can be hard to know when it’s the right time to move forward or if it’s worth giving this process one last shot — especially if you are hoping that your dreams of becoming pregnant will eventually come true.

Naturally, this will be a decision that you’ll want to put a lot thought into. Changing your family-building plans will be a big adjustment, so it’s okay to take your time as you decide what works best for you. If you’re struggling at all while you try to figure out what to do next, remember that you can always talk to your infertility counselor.

In the meantime, here are five signs to look out for that might mean surrogacy is the right option for you.

1. You’re Ready to Move on from IVF Treatments

This one seems obvious, but it may take a lot of soul-searching before you can truly say yes.

Many people who are moving to surrogacy after IVF have already gone through several rounds of treatment — which means a lot of time and, sadly, disappointment. At this point, you’re probably feeling exhausted, disappointed and heartbroken. And no one can blame you.

For many people who have been pursuing IVF for months or years, it can be extremely difficult to let go of the dream of finally becoming pregnant.

It would be a great disservice to yourself to pursue surrogacy before you’re truly ready. Surrogacy is a long process with its own emotional ups and downs. Before you decide to move forward with it, you should research all family-building methods to confirm you’re making the right decision.

2. You’re More Interested in Parenting than Pregnancy

If you’re interested in surrogacy, you need to be prepared for the fact that someone else will be carrying your baby. Obviously, this process will not be like the pregnancy process you spent so much time envisioning. While it will be difficult, you must let go of your dreams of becoming pregnant in order to have a smooth journey during the surrogacy process.

If you have come to terms with this fact, you may also have realized that, for you, becoming parents is more rewarding than the pregnancy process itself. At the end of the day, that’s what this process really comes down to.

If you’re having doubts about the surrogacy process, or if you’re not ready to let go of your dreams of carrying your child, it would be better to wait until you are truly 100% ready to move forward.

3. You’re Worried About the Cost of Continuing IVF

As you likely already know, IVF treatments aren’t cheap.

It can be extremely frustrating and disheartening to watch your savings dwindle as you attempt cycle after cycle. Instead, many families choose to put their money toward a process with a higher chance of success. While this could mean they decide on surrogacy, they might even think about adoption, which has even greater chance of success.

While it may not be what you hoped for when you set off on your family-building journey, surrogacy can still be a great, fulfilling journey — that leaves you with more funds to give your child the opportunities they deserve.

4. You Only Have a Few Embryos Left

If an intended parent only has a few embryos left, they may start to look at other options — like surrogacy. When faced with this situation, the last thing that many families want to do is to put all their hopes into the traditional IVF process only to be let down once more.

If you’re unsure what to do and you want to protect your last embryos, it may be time to look into surrogacy, especially if you’re looking for an option with a higher success rate. Naturally, you will want to talk to a surrogacy specialist if you’re considering this path.

5. You’ve Done Your Research

For many people, surrogacy is still relatively new. Before you really get going, do as much research as possible about this process to make sure that it’s the best alternative for you.

Like IVF treatments, surrogacy can be a lengthy and expensive process. It is not something that just anyone can jump into, and it is certainly not right for everyone.

Please make sure that you’re ready emotionally, mentally and physically before you get started. Remember that moving on from IVF treatments doesn’t mean that you have to let go of your dreams of parenthood. We know that this is a big adjustment, and it will be an incredibly difficult decision to make as you consider your options for building a family.

If you think that you’re ready to learn more about the surrogacy process, please contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-2229(BABY). You are under no obligation to start the process, but they will give you plenty of information to help you learn more about this option.

How COVID-19 May Impact Your IVF Journey

6 Questions Intended Parents Should Ask Themselves Before Resuming Surrogacy

As IVF and surrogacy procedures slowly resume with new precautions and policies, intended parents are more nervous than ever about restarting their journey to parenthood. There are new physical, emotional and financial concerns to consider.

Whether you’re eager to get back on track as soon as possible or you’re unsure if now is the time to start the IVF and surrogacy process, you’ll need to ask yourself some important questions. When considering how COVID-19 might affect your IVF and surrogacy journey and deciding whether or not you’re ready to resume it, you should ask yourself these six questions:

1. Are your fertility savings still stable?

Aside from the devastating health toll COVID-19 has taken throughout the world, it’s also had an economic impact. If you or your spouse lost your job, or if you took a financial hit as a result of coronavirus, then you may not be as financially ready to begin IVF and surrogacy as you were before.

Your total costs of IVF and surrogacy are going to be fluid, due to medical factors. You may find that your embryos are not viable, it may take several rounds of IVF to produce a viable embryo, or your surrogate may need several rounds of embryo transfers before a successful implantation. All this may mean that you’ll spend more or less than you anticipated.

You’ll need to examine how your IVF and surrogacy savings have been affected by the pandemic and then decide if you’re able to move forward right now, given any financial changes you may have experienced. Has your budget for IVF and surrogacy remained the same?

2. What are your fertility clinic’s policies regarding COVID-19?

In the early days of the pandemic, fertility clinics ceased operations in an effort to prevent the spread of the virus. IVF procedures were temporarily suspended. Now, clinics are opening back up and resuming IVF — but with new policies in place to keep everyone (including your embryos) safe.

Each hospital, doctor’s office and fertility clinic will have their own COVID-19 policies. What are the policies at your clinic? How will those policies affect you and your surrogate?

Work with your American Surrogacy specialist to learn about your clinics’ policies before you move forward. Make sure that you feel comfortable with the precautions that they are taking.

3. What happens if someone within your surrogacy partnership contracts COVID-19 mid-cycle?

The health of those involved in this surrogacy journey always comes first. So if you, your spouse, your surrogate, or an immediate member of either or your families were to contract COVID-19 during the process, what happens? Would you still move forward once that person had recovered? Can you wait that long?

This is something that you’ll all need to discuss with your American Surrogacy specialist. In this changing world, it’s important to talk about this scenario together and create a concrete plan of how you will want to proceed.

4. Are you comfortable having a woman become pregnant with your child right now?

It always takes some faith when allowing someone else to carry your baby. Are you prepared to trust someone in protecting themselves (and your baby) against COVID-19?

The woman who will be carrying your child will need to spend a good amount of time in doctor’s offices and hospitals throughout the surrogacy process and pregnancy. Even though all surrogates take the health and safety of themselves and the baby very seriously, and yours will be taking all the prescribed precautions to avoid exposure to illnesses, she’ll still need to have quite a few in-person visits at medical facilities.

Whenever possible, telemedicine appointments may take place. However, there are some doctor’s visits that will, of course, need to occur in the office.

Additionally, you’ll need to consider if you’ll be comfortable with a number of scenarios:

  • What if she’s an essential worker?
  • What if her children or spouse are back to school or work?
  • What if she lives in a coronavirus “hotspot”?
  • What if she and her family need to travel?

Your surrogate will do her utmost to protect herself, and by proxy, your baby from COVID-19. But there will always be moments when all of us must go out into the world to function.

Would you be able to accept that and trust her to protect herself, her family and your baby?

5. Are you prepared to miss some important moments with your surrogate and baby?

In an effort to maintain social distance and prevent the spread of the virus, you probably won’t see your surrogate in person as much as you would before COVID-19.

Additionally, hospital and medical clinic policies may prevent one or both of you from being with your surrogate during milestones like embryo transfers, sonograms, or possibly even labor and delivery.

For some intended parents, surrogacy is a chance to experience pregnancy alongside their surrogate. You’ll need to decide if you’re willing to miss out on some of these moments in favor of growing your family more quickly.

6. How do you think your emotional and mental health will handle egg retrieval and/or IVF at the moment?

Right now, everyone is under more stress than usual. The early stages of surrogacy’s medical process are always stressful for everyone involved, but in the midst of a global pandemic, it’s understandably even more so.

Consider how you’ll feel during your contributions to the IVF process and as you await the results of your surrogate’s embryo transfer. With the added stressors of COVID-19, you’ll want to make sure that you’re emotionally ready to move forward — so that you can be the best support person for your surrogate.

If you have any questions or concerns about resuming the IVF and surrogacy process, contact American Surrogacy now. Your specialist will help you consider your readiness and can walk you through how COVID-19 will and won’t affect your journey.

When One Spouse Isn’t Ready for Surrogacy: Intended Parents

Embarking on a surrogacy journey will alter the course of your life.

Not only is it a road to fulfilling your dreams of parenthood, it is also a unique path that relatively few have walked. Your experience — the joys and hardships, victories and challenges — will be unlike most other roads to parenthood.

That’s why it is important — vital, even — for both partners to be completely committed to the process. A unity of mind in your relationship should be considered a requirement to begin the surrogacy process.

But, what do you do when one partner isn’t so sure?

Any disagreement within a relationship can create tension. This particular disagreement can be like a ticking time bomb if it is handled the wrong way.

Do you give in and give up on surrogacy? Do you plow ahead and start the process? Is there a middle road?

Each relationship is unique. We can’t give you an exact blueprint to navigate out of this disagreement. However, we have worked with many couples that started where you are. Here’s what we’ve learned about the best ways to respond to a partner who is not totally on board with surrogacy.

Evaluate Your Emotional Readiness

Everyone responds to grief in different ways. Grieving, accepting, and then healing after infertility is never easy, and it may take a long time. Finding alternative family-building options like surrogacy may bring hope back into your world. Your dreams of becoming a parent are very much possible.

But, that doesn’t mean you are ready, or that your partner is ready to move on from infertility. Take stock of your mental state. Ask questions like:

  • Are you ready to move on from any current infertility treatments?
  • Can you come to terms with parenthood without pregnancy?
  • Does it bother you that someone else will carry your baby to term?
  • Have you spent enough time processing your grief from infertility?
  • Are you and your partner ready to commit completely to surrogacy?

There are no wrong answers. Be honest with yourself and within your relationship. The surrogacy journey won’t be right for you until each person is truly ready for it.

Consider Counseling

Infertility ushers in a confusing flood of emotions. There’s anger, grief, shame, anxiety, sadness and more. Additionally, there’s confusion about where to go next. That’s why infertility counseling is always worth considering.

Reaching out for professional help may be a foreign idea, but you are in uncharted waters. There are several different stages of counseling, and you can start and stop depending on what you feel is best. While it may be uncomfortable at first, counseling can be very helpful and is highly recommended.

Research Options Together

Are you working with an unacknowledged informational imbalance? If you have been doing your research on surrogacy, you likely understand the process. This may have given you an eagerness to get started. But, remember, there’s no reason to expect your partner to share your enthusiasm if you’ve been doing all of the research on your own.

Don’t assume that your partner knows what you know. Intentionally research your alternative family-building options together. This way, you’re working from a level playing field. These conversations will go much better when each of you is equipped with the same level of understanding.

And, while you’re at it, this is a good time to consider all options that could be available to you in pursuit of starting a family. For example, our sister agency, American Adoptions, has been providing nationwide domestic infant adoption services for more than 25 years. If surrogacy isn’t sitting quite right, have you considered adoption?

There are many amazing ways to start a family, and we support whichever option is best for you and your partner.

Don’t Rush

Processing grief, working through disagreements, researching complex family-building options — these things take time. The most important thing is that you experience the best long-term outcome. Move toward that goal at the pace you are both comfortable with. If that means taking weeks, months or even more than a year to step into your surrogacy journey, that’s okay.

Speak with One of Our Surrogacy Specialists

Of course, you can always call 1-800-875-BABY (2229) or contact us online at any time to speak with a surrogacy specialist. Your partner may have questions you can’t answer, and a conference call with a specialist may be just the thing to clear things up.

American Surrogacy will never pressure you into the process. We believe that each family requires a different approach. You’ll get honest, unbiased information from our specialists that will help you make the best choice.

Being out of step with your partner about issues like this can be difficult. With these things in mind, and the guidance of professionals, you can plot a course forward.

We look forward to hearing from you.