Many intended parents considering surrogacy see asking a friend to be their surrogate as the perfect solution—built-in trust, personal connection, and potential cost savings.
But here’s what most people don’t realize: Many relationships that seem perfect for surrogacy face unexpected challenges that professional arrangements typically avoid.
Ready to explore all your options? Understanding the real costs and considerations helps you make the best choice for your family. Contact us today to learn more about our independent surrogacy program and matching programs.
How Much Does Surrogacy Cost with a Friend as Your Surrogate?
While surrogacy may be slightly cheaper if you already have a surrogate lined up, the cost of surrogacy for most journeys is typically around $100,000+ due to variable expenses.
Here are a couple of factors that may affect the cost of surrogacy with a friend as your surrogate:
- Location: For example, California and New York costs run 20-30% higher than national averages. The cost will generally depend on the cost of living where your friend resides.
- Agency choice: Full-service agencies charge $25,000+, while consultation-only services cost $5,000 to $15,000. Not using an agency may seem cheaper but often costs more when problems arise.
- Experience: Your friend’s surrogacy experience influences costs. First-time surrogates need more extensive screening, adding $2,000 to $5,000. Experienced surrogates often reduce coordination costs and medical complications.
If you have concerns about affording surrogacy, learn more about why financing your surrogacy journey could be worth it to have the family you’ve been longing for.
Agency Support for Identified Surrogacy Journeys
At American Surrogacy, we offer an Independent Surrogacy Program for intended parents working with friends as surrogates, managing both emotional and financial aspects of your journey.
- Initial screening: Free
- In-depth screening for unlimited surrogates: $12,000+ (one-time fee)
- Support and education: $12,000-$25,000+
All-in-all, you can expect to pay $24,000+
Learn more about our Independent Surrogacy Program.
If you decide not to use your friend as a surrogate, American Surrogacy offers two programs designed to match you with a pre-screened surrogate in an average of 1 - 4 months.
Variable Costs that Affect Every Surrogacy Journey
There are variable costs with every surrogacy journey, whether or not you know your surrogate beforehand or find one through an agency. These requirements cannot be reduced simply because you know your surrogate.
- IVF costs
- Medical screening for your friend
- Base compensation
- Maternity clothing, travel/lodging and lost wages
- Life and health insurance
- Legal fees
- Out-of-pocket prenatal, delivery and newborn expenses
Variable costs can total around $100,000+ in any surrogacy journey, even if you use your friend as your surrogate.
Can Your Friendship Handle a Surrogacy Journey?
Consider whether you can discuss intimate medical details comfortably and if your friend will communicate honestly about her needs without fear of damaging the relationship.
Financial discussions that feel natural professionally often become awkward between friends, potentially leading to unspoken resentments about the cost of surrogacy with a friend as your surrogate.
Professional surrogates understand appropriate boundaries. Friends may struggle navigating the shift from personal to professional arrangement, especially involving money and medical decisions.
Surrogacy involves intimate aspects of your friend’s life for over a year, from medical appointments to daily health decisions—a level of involvement that can overwhelm both parties.
How to Approach a Friend About Surrogacy
This conversation will fundamentally change your relationship regardless of her response. Research surrogacy thoroughly first, understanding the physical, emotional, and legal commitments involved.
Choose a private setting
Explain your fertility journey, outline what surrogacy involves (time, procedures, risks), and discuss the cost of surrogacy with a friend as your surrogate openly.
Be clear about expense coverage even if she offers to waive compensation.
Give her time to consider without pressure
Allow discussion with her partner and be prepared for any response, including “no.” Pressuring a friend risks permanently damaging your relationship.
Do You Still Need to Work with an Agency if You Know Your Surrogate?
Yes. Personal relationships often make professional oversight more important when managing the cost of surrogacy with a friend as your surrogate.
Both parties need independent legal representation regardless of trust levels. Contracts must address scenarios friends prefer not to discuss, including medical emergencies and financial responsibilities.
Professional coordination ensures proper medical protocols, prevents financial misunderstandings, and provides clear documentation for tax purposes.
Most people don’t understand insurance requirements—agencies ensure proper coverage and help navigate complex situations.
Personal relationships complicate decision-making during stress. Professional support provides objective guidance when emotions run high, preserving friendships while meeting surrogacy goals.
Risks of Skipping Professional Support
Going without agency support when using a friend as your surrogate creates expensive risks and relationship problems.
- Legal problems represent the biggest danger. Without proper contracts, disputes over medical decisions or complications can result in costly court battles and custody issues.
- Medical coordination often fails in independent arrangements. Missing screenings or poor provider communication can cause denied insurance claims and emergency costs.
- Financial misunderstandings commonly occur without oversight. Unclear expense agreements can strain friendships and create unexpected costs. Tax issues often go unaddressed, creating audit risks.
- Insurance gaps pose major risks. Families often discover coverage exclusions during pregnancy, resulting in out-of-pocket costs from $15,000 to $50,000+ for complications.
Get Professional Guidance for Your Friend Surrogacy Journey
Understanding the true cost of surrogacy with a friend as your surrogate requires professional guidance tailored to your situation.
At American Surrogacy, we’ve helped countless intended parents navigate successful friend surrogacy journeys.
Contact American Surrogacy today to create a plan that protects everyone while maximizing your success chances.
Our experience helps you understand realistic expectations, avoid common pitfalls and protect both your family-building goals and friendship.