33 Questions to Ask Intended Parents as a Surrogate

Prospective surrogates who are waiting for a match often ask, “What questions do I ask intended parents?”

As you prepare for your initial conversation with the intended parents, your surrogacy specialist will give you all the important details you need to know about them and their situation. She will also help you gather a list of questions, offering suggestions of both what to ask and what not to ask.

Ultimately, you’ll want to ask the questions that you are most interested in and that will help you determine whether these are the right intended parents for you. To help you out, we’ve listed a few of the important questions you might considering asking:

About the Intended Parents

  • What kind of things do you like to do? What are your interests?
  • What are your personality types? What do you like best about each other?
  • What do you do for a living?
  • What is your immediate and extended family like? Are they supportive of your surrogacy plans?
  • What are your values? What’s important to you?
  • If you’re speaking with a couple: How did you two meet? What is your “love story?”

About Their Surrogacy Goals

  • Why did you decide on surrogacy? Why do you think it’s the best choice for you?
  • How committed are you to the surrogacy process?
  • When did you start your surrogacy process?
  • What are you looking for in a relationship with a surrogate before, during and after the surrogacy process?
  • What do you want to know about me as a prospective surrogate?
  • How many embryo transfers do you think you will attempt? And how many embryos do you want to transfer at a time?
  • Are you using your own embryo, egg or sperm?
  • Are you willing to get to know my partner and children during the surrogacy process?
  • What are your thoughts on selective reduction and termination?
  • Do you have certain surrogacy, legal or medical professionals in mind for your surrogacy?
  • How do you plan to be involved during the surrogacy process?
  • Who do you want to be in the hospital room when I give birth?
  • Would you like me to pump breast milk for your baby after birth?

About Their Parenthood Plans

  • What kind of parents do you see yourselves being?
  • What do you plan to tell your child about their surrogacy?
  • What do you plan to tell your child about me if I am your surrogate?
  • How else will you incorporate surrogacy into your child’s life?
  • Do you want to have more children, or will this be your only child?
  • If this surrogacy is successful, would you consider completing another, or would you use another method to add to your family?
  • What are you most looking forward to about being parents?

A first conversation with intended parents need not include all of these questions, by any means. Prospective surrogates should choose the topics that are most important to them for an initial meeting, which many describe as similar to a first date.

You will have the chance for more conversations after, and a lot of the detailed, more complicated questions can be addressed during those and during your legal contract negotiation.

For more advice on how to prepare for this first conversation with possible intended parents, contact your surrogacy specialist today at 1-800-875-2229.

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