6 Things Surrogates Can Do to Make Their Intended Mother Feel Appreciated
By helping your intended mother to become a mom through surrogacy in the first place, you’re already giving her the best gift possible. Want to make sure she feels included in the “mom club” with some extra gestures? That’s fine, too — go ahead and share the love! Just remember that what you’re already doing is incredible.
Here are six ways you can show your intended mother-to-be some additional Mother’s Day appreciation, if you’re so inclined:
1. Send a Card or a Text
Send her an almost-first Mother’s Day card or a text telling her why you picked her to be your intended mother and the reasons why you think she’s going to be a great mom. If this is her first child, she may be feeling nervous right now. Some encouragement from you can be great to hear.
2. Call Her
Having a long-distance surrogacy partnership can be tough, but a quick phone or video call to wish her a “Happy Mother’s Day” can let her know you’re thinking of her. Check in, catch up, ask how she’s feeling, and let her know what a great mom she’s going to be. This is extra fun if you currently have a baby bump that she can “say hello” to.
3. Get a Small Gift
If you’re the type of person who loves giving gifts, and if you (and your surrogate specialist) think it’s appropriate in your surrogacy relationship, go ahead! Some ideas:
- A stuffed animal or blanket for the baby, which can also be used to help with emotional transfer
- A framed photo of you and the intended parents, or a sonogram.
- A meaningful piece of jewelry or keepsake.
4. Involve Her in Your Experiences
Nothing says motherhood like watching your child’s every move, right? Even if you’re in a long-distance surrogacy partnership, invite her to doctor’s appointments whenever she’s able to come, and send texts letting her know how you’re feeling and giving updates about the baby’s progress if you’re pregnant at this point.
5. Spend Some Time Together
If you’re both able to, invite her out to lunch, go out for a spa afternoon, or just have her over for a cup of tea and a chat. It can be nice to get to know each other outside of your “surrogate” and “intended parent” roles. She might appreciate some of the conversation and focus being shifted away from you and onto her for a bit. Treat her like a new friend, and you might find that you have one!
6. Keep Doing What You’re Doing!
If you’d like to do something special for your intended mother, that’s wonderful. However, what you’re doing for her right now is already the most amazing thing you could do for anyone.
You are making an entire lifetime of future Mother’s Days possible for her. Let that sink in, and take a moment to be proud of yourself for that. She’s certainly aware of it.
Continuing to take care of yourself and her baby (if you’re already pregnant) will be a great gift to her.
Not sure how to address Mother’s Day as a gestational surrogate? You can always ask your American Surrogacy specialist for advice by calling 1-800-875-BABY(2229).