Surrogates | American Surrogacy Blog

3 Things to Know About Post-Birth Surrogacy Relationships

The relationship created between intended parents and a surrogate during the surrogacy process is a powerful and intimate one. Both parties are actively working toward the miracle of life — adding a child to a family who so desperately wants one. It’s a complicated and, at times, difficult process in which intended parents and surrogates learn to lean on each other for support.

But, what happens to this relationship after the baby is born? Do intended parents and surrogates go their separate ways, even though they are forever bonded with the knowledge that they brought a life into the world together?

Whether you are an intended parent or a surrogate, you may be curious — and even anxious — about what kind of relationship you will have once your surrogacy journey is complete. Only you and your surrogacy partner will determine what this relationship is but, as you’re considering what you want your relationship to be like, think about these three important facts.

1. Your Relationship Will Change

When a baby is born via surrogacy, intended parents and surrogates have often spent a year or more working closely together — being present for important appointments, sharing stories of pregnancy and excitement and genuinely creating a unique friendship. However, once a baby is born, many of those aspects that bond intended parents and surrogates disappear.

It’s normal for your surrogacy relationship to change once the baby is born — and you should be prepared for these changes. You will likely no longer be in as frequent contact when you aren’t bound by the aspects of the surrogacy process. If you are an intended parent, your focus will go from caring for your surrogate to caring for your newborn baby. If you are a surrogate, you will go from being a key player in the surrogacy process to a spectator of the new family you have created.

These changes can be abrupt and, when you factor in the complicated emotions associated with childbirth, it can be a confusing time. Remember, your surrogacy specialist will always be there to guide you through those feelings and help you adjust to your new relationship, as well as mediate contact to ensure both parties are comfortable with the changes.

2. Closure is a Good Idea

It’s true that surrogates do not become emotionally attached to the children they carry for nine months. They understand that they are just “babysitting” the child and are just as excited as intended parents for the new chapter in their lives.

However, an abrupt break from the intended parents and the baby who they have focused on for the last year can be emotionally challenging for a surrogate. A surrogate is an important part of the surrogacy process, and it’s important that she does not feel like her effort has been overlooked or forgotten as soon as the baby is born.

Closure, even if it’s something as simple as letting the surrogate hold the baby and say goodbye to the new family, can go a long way in helping a woman heal from the physical and emotional complexities of her surrogacy delivery. Likewise, intended parents should find the same sense of closure with the woman who has carried their hopes and dreams for the last nine months. Even if you anticipate continuing your relationship moving forward, this step is crucial in creating a positive surrogacy experience for everyone.

It may be uncomfortable to suggest some kind of closure, but take the steps to reach out — even the smallest gestures go a long way.

3. Every Post-Birth Surrogacy Relationship is Different

Determining your post-surrogacy relationship can be tricky, especially after the baby has been born. Therefore, many intended parents and surrogates create an outline in their surrogacy contract of what kind of post-surrogacy contact they would like moving forward.

However, even with this, it’s natural for relationships to ebb and flow as surrogates and intended parents go through certain periods in their lives. Remember, there is no “right” way to have a relationship with your surrogacy partner after the delivery. Every relationship is different, and it’s up to you to determine what kind you want to have after the birth of the child.

Although creating the perfect post-surrogacy relationship can be complicated, take heart in knowing that most surrogates and intended parents find the perfect balance of contact after birth. One study of surrogates in the United Kingdom and their post-surrogacy relationships shows that 84 percent of surrogates were happy with the level of future contact they had with the child born via surrogacy, whatever kind and frequency of contact it was. They reported that “their level of contact felt natural, was comfortable for the surrogate, the child and his or her parents, and fitted into what were, in most cases, busy family lives.”

If you want to learn more about maintaining a positive surrogacy relationship with your intended parents or surrogate after the baby is born, speak with a surrogacy specialist at American Surrogacy today. We can mediate your contact and help you create a relationship that meets both of your needs.

To get started, contact American Surrogacy at 1-800-875-2229(BABY) today.

5 Tips for Having a Successful Hospital Stay as a Surrogate

When it’s time to deliver your intended parents’ baby, you may be filled with many different emotions: excitement, anticipation and even nervousness. All of these are completely normal. Giving birth is a life-changing experience in and of itself; when you are giving birth to make someone’s parenthood dreams come true, it will be like nothing else you’ve ever experienced.

Because of the involvement of the intended parents, your delivery will be slightly different than your previous deliveries of your own children. Fortunately, your surrogacy specialist will be there to guide you through this process from beginning to end. With the proper preparation and discussion with your intended parents, any nerves or confusion you have about what will happen in the hospital will be relieved — and you can focus on the positive experience you’re about to have.

Your surrogacy specialist at American Surrogacy will help you prepare for this hospital stay. To help you ready yourself for your delivery experience, consider these five tips for surrogates like you who are about to give birth.

1. Make a hospital plan early on with your intended parents and your surrogacy specialist.

The most important step in ensuring a positive hospital stay is creating a surrogate birth plan with your surrogacy professional and your intended parents. When you are first matched with intended parents, your preferences for your delivery will be considered, but your actual hospital birth plan will not be created until sometime in your second or third trimester.

To create your hospital plan, your surrogacy specialist will mediate the conversation between you and the intended parents to determine what each of your preferences are for this important time. Based on this conversation and the policies of the hospital you will deliver at, you will determine:

Who will be present in the delivery room
Whether you will include a doula in your delivery experience
Where the baby will stay after delivery
Whether the intended parents will get their own hospital room
What kind of immediate, skin-on-skin contact you or the intended parents will share with the baby
How much time you and the intended parents will share after delivery
Whether you and the intended parents will leave the hospital together or separate

These are just some of the choices included in your hospital plan. Any additional aspects will be determined by your local hospital’s policies. Your surrogacy specialist will work with your medical professional to ensure your hospital plan preferences are implemented.

2. Be flexible as your hospital stay progresses.

While your hospital plan will hopefully reduce the amount of unknown associated with your hospital stay, it’s important to be flexible as you are admitted to the hospital. Your surrogacy specialist and your medical professional will do their best to prepare the hospital professionals for your surrogate delivery, but be patient in case things do not go as planned. Becoming upset will not be beneficial for you, the intended parents or the baby. Remember that things will work themselves out and you will have your surrogacy specialist as your advocate during this time.

3. Invite your loved ones to spend time with you at the hospital.

Usually, the intended parents and baby will get their own recovery room after your delivery. Your own recovery from childbirth will be difficult, especially with potential confusing emotions, and going through this process alone can be tough. Consider asking your spouse and your children to spend time with you while you recover. While the intended parents will likely spend time with you after birth, their focus will be on bonding with their baby. Therefore, having loved ones nearby during this physical and emotional recovery can be invaluable.

4. Have a backup plan in case things happen quickly.

In an ideal world, every surrogate birth would go accordingly to plan. However, you may find your water breaking unexpectedly or being ushered into the maternity ward earlier than planned.

In case this occurs, you and your intended parents should have a backup plan. In your last couple of months of pregnancy, put together a hospital bag that will be ready to go whenever you are. Make sure that you can always contact your surrogacy specialist on short notice, who will be able to inform the intended parents of your impending delivery. Being flexible and patient during an unexpected delivery will also be incredibly helpful to your mental state.

5. Enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

When you give birth as someone’s surrogate, you will be participating in a beautiful moment that you all will remember forever. You can never anticipate the feeling of handing a child to their parents for the first time ever so, instead of focusing on the little details, try to focus on the amazing experience you are having and the partnership you are a part of. At the end of the day, it won’t really matter whether you had all of the ice chips and cool towels that you wanted — just that you will have changed the world for one eternally grateful family.

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To learn more about becoming a surrogate with American Surrogacy and the hospital experience you can expect, please contact our agency today at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).

5 Tips for Dealing with Unsupportive Family and Friends as a Surrogate

Hopefully, everyone you tell about your decision to become a surrogate responds with warmth and excitement. But, because surrogacy is still a relatively new and commonly misunderstood practice, that’s not always a realistic expectation.

Instead, you may find that certain friends and family members respond with blank stares, hesitation or even ignorant or insensitive questions and comments: “Why would you want to do that? Won’t you get attached to the baby? Are you sure you’ve thought this through?”

Dealing with a lack of support from friends and family members can be disheartening for a hopeful surrogate. After all, your surrogacy support system will be integral to a positive surrogacy experience. So, with that in mind, here are five tips for getting unsupportive friends and family members on board with your surrogacy plan:

1. Break the news gently.

If you haven’t already told your family about your surrogacy decision, there are some tips you might consider before having the talk. For example, you might try slowly introducing the topic of surrogacy in casual conversation before announcing your news, or write out what you want to say and practice the conversation ahead of time. Your surrogacy specialist at American Surrogacy can always help you navigate that first conversation and anticipate common questions and concerns that friends or family members might raise.

2. Educate them.

Surrogacy is a complicated process, and if the concept of surrogacy is new to your family, it’s one they probably haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about. Oftentimes, a friend’s or relative’s lack of support for your surrogacy decision actually stems from a lack of understanding.

Take the time to explain how surrogacy actually works and address any concerns your friends or family might have about your safety, your relationship to the baby or other aspects of the surrogacy process. Share helpful articles and resources that address common misconceptions about surrogacy. The more your friends and family members know about the journey you’re taking, the more comfortable they will be with the idea.

3. Give them your reasons.

If you’re serious about making the big commitments required of a surrogate, you probably have some pretty compelling reasons why. Maybe you’ve dreamed for years of helping a couple who has struggled with infertility finally add to their family. Maybe you really want to experience pregnancy one last time, even though your own family is already complete — and, on top of that, maybe you know that your surrogate compensation would be a big step toward that down payment you’ve been saving for.

Whatever surrogacy means to you, make sure to let your friends and family members know. Once they better understand the benefits of surrogacy and how important this experience is to you, they’ll be more likely to support and respect your surrogacy decision.

4. Ask for their support.

It sounds simple, but letting your friends and family members know how much their support will mean to you can make a big difference. Be specific: Ask your mom if she would be willing to babysit during doctor’s appointments or if you can count on your siblings for a lunch date when you’re having a hard day. By proactively asking for support and involving them in the process, you can help friends and family members feel more a part of your surrogacy team.

5. Focus on what matters.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there will be certain friends and family members who just won’t understand or accept your surrogacy decision — and that’s okay. Your spouse’s support is critical to the surrogacy process, but in most cases, involving other friends and family members is optional.

If surrogacy is truly important to you, you may decide to move forward with the process even if there are a handful of people in your life who don’t love the idea. Who knows? Once they see the baby you help bring into the world and the difference you make in the lives of intended parents, they might just come around.

If you’re struggling with unsupportive friends or family members as a surrogate, you can always contact American Surrogacy at 1-800-875-2229(BABY) for additional support and advice.

3 Things to Know About Surrogacy Insurance

Insurance can be a tricky thing to navigate during any pregnancy — and surrogacy further complicates the issue. Whether you’re a surrogate or intended parent, you’re not alone if you’re wondering exactly how surrogacy insurance works.

Fortunately, the specialists at American Surrogacy are familiar with the intricacies of surrogacy insurance and can help answer your questions when you contact us at 1-800-875-2229(BABY). In the meantime, here are three things you need to know about insurance coverage for surrogate pregnancies.

1. Coverage varies from company to company.

As surrogacy has become increasingly common, insurance companies have become more selective regarding the types of pregnancies they will cover. Whether a surrogate’s pregnancy will be covered by her health insurance today depends entirely on her individual policy.

As part of our surrogate screening process, American Surrogacy will conduct an insurance review for every prospective surrogate who joins our agency. If her insurance includes a surrogacy exclusion (as many policies today do), the intended parents she is matched with may need to purchase a supplemental insurance policy to cover the costs of her pregnancy.

It’s important to note that if you are a surrogate, your pregnancy costs will always be covered for you, regardless of your insurance situation.

2. In vitro fertilization costs may be covered.

Even in cases where a surrogate’s medical expenses cannot be covered by insurance, some insurance companies will cover infertility treatments up to a certain amount. This means that for some intended parents, insurance will cover the costs of the in vitro fertilization (IVF) process to create embryos.

Intended parents should check with their insurance company to learn whether IVF treatments may be covered by their plan. In some states, this coverage is mandated — but only for employers with certain plans and of certain sizes.

If you live in a state where infertility coverage is not mandated, or if your state’s mandate doesn’t apply to your specific situation, whether IVF will be covered by your insurance depends entirely on your individual policy.

3. A supplemental plan may be necessary.

Because many insurance plans today do not cover surrogate pregnancies, it is common for intended parents to purchase a supplemental surrogacy insurance policy. Companies like ART Risk Financial and New Life Agency offer surrogacy insurance plans that can be purchased to cover a surrogate’s medical costs.

While these additional surrogacy insurance costs can be expensive, they can also offer great peace of mind throughout the medical process and pregnancy — both for surrogates and intended parents. Hopeful parents should carefully research surrogacy insurance (as well as other surrogacy financing options) so they can be fully prepared for the costs ahead.

For more information about surrogacy insurance, contact your insurance representative or a financial advisor. You can also learn more about how our program addresses surrogacy insurance issues by calling 1-800-875-2229(BABY) or contacting us online.

Taking Surrogacy Delivery Photos — What to Know

If you’re considering surrogacy as a way to build your family, you’ve probably come across beautiful photos of intended parents and surrogates sharing in the delivery experience together. Just as women giving birth to their own children hire photographers to capture this life-changing moment, intended parents whose child is being born via surrogate also use this method to commemorate the moment they’ve been waiting for forever.

But, you may wonder: What is the process of delivery photos like when the woman giving birth is not the mother, and how do you suggest this to your surrogate, who is already giving so much to help you reach your parenthood dreams?

Fortunately, most surrogates will be thrilled at the idea of having delivery photos taken. Having already had children themselves, they will understand how important this moment is and, more than likely, will be completely on board with this process.

Why Delivery Photos Can Be So Special

If you have not yet started the surrogacy process or been matched with a surrogate, the idea of taking photos of another woman giving birth to your child may seem odd and even intrusive. But surrogacy delivery photos are much more than that.

Photos taken during the time that your surrogate gives birth will capture everyone involved in the process — not only her but also you, your spouse (if applicable), your surrogate’s spouse and your doctor. Surrogacy is a partnership, and delivery photos of a surrogate pregnancy capture that relationship perfectly.

By the time your surrogate gives birth, she will not be a stranger. Instead, she will likely be a close friend who you have created a genuine relationship with. Therefore, the intimate photos taken during delivery will seem natural. They will capture that unique relationship you have and both your and your surrogate’s emotions while she is giving birth.

For many intended parents, these photos are priceless, no matter who is the one giving birth — you are all working toward the same end goal.

How to Broach This Idea to Your Surrogate

Whether you know you want delivery photos taken when you first start your surrogacy process, or whether it’s an idea that you have during your surrogate’s pregnancy, it’s important that you discuss this openly and honestly with your surrogate. After all, the photos will feature her as much as you, and she will need to be comfortable with this process before you start scheduling a photographer for her delivery.

If you know you want surrogacy delivery photos early on, this can be discussed in your contract when you initially match with a surrogate. However, if you are unsure of how to bring this topic up after you have been matched with a surrogate, your surrogacy specialist at American Surrogacy can help mediate a discussion of this idea.

Your specialist can also offer suggestions on how to make the process as comfortable as possible for all involved. As intended parents, you will be responsible for the costs of hiring a photographer for the delivery, and you’ll need to speak with them and your surrogate to create a photography plan that everyone is comfortable with.

As mentioned before, most surrogates will be happy to have delivery photos taken — but taking the time to ask her about her preferences and her comfort level before moving forward will mean a lot to her. If your surrogate is uncomfortable with this idea, you should never try to pressure or force her into changing her mind.

A Note to Surrogates

If you are a surrogate who is interested in delivery photos at the hospital, your situation is a bit more unique than if an intended parent suggested this idea to you. While you will be included in any surrogacy delivery photos, you will need to be respectful in suggesting this idea to your intended parents — as they have just as much say in the decision as you.

If you have a good relationship with your intended parents, you may suggest this idea in a light-hearted and no-obligation way. If you are unsure of how to suggest this to your intended parents, your surrogacy specialist can always help mediate this conversation. You may even suggest splitting the fee of a photographer at the hospital if these photos are incredibly important to you.

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As always, remember that both intended parents and surrogates have a say in this process, just like with shooting maternity photos. By respecting each other’s wishes and determining what you are both comfortable with, you can come up with a plan for photography at the hospital that produces photos you will cherish forever.

To learn more about how the delivery process works for a surrogate pregnancy, please contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-2229(BABY) today.

7 Reasons Why Women Want to Be Surrogates

Let’s face it: being a surrogate is hard. The women who pursue surrogacy often have to put their own lives on hold, sacrificing much of their time and energy (not to mention their physical comfort) to bring a child into the lives of another family.

Whether you’re thinking about surrogacy as a hopeful intended parent or prospective surrogate, or you’re simply curious to learn more about a process that is commonly misunderstood, this may leave you wondering: Why do women want to become surrogates?

The amazing women who choose surrogacy come from many different backgrounds and have many different reasons for taking this journey. In general, though, here are a few common reasons why a woman might want to partake in this life-changing process:

1. She enjoys being pregnant.

A genuine love of pregnancy is absolutely critical for any woman interested in surrogacy. The typical surrogate is someone who takes great joy in the miracle of pregnancy and has had positive pregnancy experiences with her own children.

Surrogacy agencies and clinics require that prospective surrogates have a history of successful, healthy pregnancies, and many encourage women to start this process only after their own families are complete. For many women, surrogacy is an opportunity to experience the joy of pregnancy again, even if they’re not planning on raising any more children themselves.

2. She wants to build lasting friendships.

Surrogacy is an intimate and collaborative process, and many surrogates and intended parents end up forming genuine friendships that last long after the surrogacy is complete.

In addition, many surrogates find a strong sense of community with each other through support groups, online forums and more. Surrogates often form strong bonds and lasting friendships with these women, who understand what they’re going through in a way no one else can.

3. She can learn more about her own health.

While not a primary reason for most women to become surrogates, every prospective surrogate does go through an intensive screening process that can help her learn more about her body and her overall health. Surrogates receive top-notch healthcare (as well as emotional support and counseling) before and during their pregnancy — all free of charge.

4. She sets an example for those around her.

There’s nothing like a baby bump to attract excitement and questions — and as such, many surrogates find themselves on the forefront of the conversation about surrogacy. Many surrogates are passionate about sharing their stories and spreading awareness of surrogacy and other family-building methods, and they take pride in setting an example of altruism for their own children and other people in their lives.

5. She earns a deep sense of personal satisfaction and pride.

Not everyone has what it takes to be a surrogate — and the women who do can take great satisfaction in knowing they’ve changed the world in a way not many others can. Surrogates make a lasting impact on the lives of intended parents and their families for generations to come, and in turn, many surrogates enjoy a deep sense of pride, empowerment and gratification throughout their surrogacy experience.

6. Surrogacy can help her reach financial goals.

Many assume that surrogate compensation is the primary motivator for most women who become surrogates, but that’s actually not the case. Surrogacy agencies gauge a woman’s motives for surrogacy to ensure they’re not solely monetary; if a surrogate is interested only in the financial benefits of surrogacy, the process will likely not be worthwhile or fulfilling for her.

For many surrogates, then, this compensation is just the icing on the cake — an added benefit that can be used to help them reach certain financial goals, like paying for their education or putting a down payment on a house.

7. She wants to help hopeful parents.

Ultimately, a surrogate’s motivation usually comes down to one thing: a deep desire to help intended parents complete their families. Surrogates know the joy of raising children themselves and want to give that experience to hopeful parents who can’t conceive on their own.

Whether she is working with known intended parents or strangers, LGBT parents or a straight couple struggling with infertility, a surrogate will make a huge impact on the lives of the families she partners with — and seeing the intended parents hold their new baby for the first time makes the whole journey worthwhile.

If you’re interested in becoming a surrogate for these or any other reasons, please contact a surrogacy specialist today at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).

10 Tips for New Surrogates

If you’re considering becoming a surrogate, congratulations! You’re about to embark on a life-changing journey and join thousands of women who have made a huge difference in someone else’s lives.

However, as much research as you’ve probably done up until the point, you may still have questions and concerns. What is it really like to be surrogate? How can you prepare for this journey?

Fortunately, when you work with American Surrogacy, your surrogacy specialist will be there to support you throughout your journey. Whatever advice and answers you need, she can provide them or help you find additional resources to help you, like former surrogates or professional counselors.

To help you prepare for this new step in your life, we’ve gathered some top tips from former surrogates who were once in your very situation:

1. Remember that you are part of a team.

Surrogacy is an involved process with many complicated aspects and steps. You will need to work closely with your surrogacy professionals and your intended parents to complete it successfully. While you will play an important role in the surrogacy journey, it’s not all about your experience; it will be a give-and-take with everyone else that’s involved.

2. Communication is key.

You and the intended parents will be pursuing a very intimate process with each other, so it’s helpful to build a positive and strong relationship from the beginning of your journey. There may be difficult moments throughout your surrogacy, and being able to easily and effectively communicate with each other will make those moments easier to move forward from.

3. Be prepared for the emotions of the process.

Surrogacy comes with both emotional highs and lows, and your surrogacy specialist will help you prepare for them. However, understand the potential for things like miscarriages, failed transfers and selective reductions and think about how you may respond to these situations. Remember, your surrogacy professional can help you connect with trained counselors if you need them.

4. The hormones from medication and pregnancy will affect you.

When you become a surrogate, you’ll potentially go through more hormonal changes as you take pre-transfer medications to regulate your hormones. The experience may or may not be comparable to your past pregnancies. Be prepared for the possibility that these hormones may affect your personality more than they did before.

5. Don’t feel pressured into a match unless you’re sure it’s right.

As a surrogate, you have the right to only carry for a family that you are 100 percent comfortable with. If this means you have to wait longer than normal to find the intended parents that you feel a connection with, that’s okay. Your surrogacy specialist will work with you to find the perfect family who fits all of your surrogacy preferences and goals.

6. Be comfortable with your contract and don’t sign anything until you are ready.

Similarly, you do not have to agree to the terms of your contract until you feel that your rights and interests are protected. You will be provided a personal lawyer for this stage of the process, and you can take all the time you need to discuss with him or her all your questions or concerns. You are never obligated to start any surrogacy processes until you sign your contract but, once you do sign, you will be legally obligated to follow every responsibility outlined in it.

7. Follow your contract and everything will be fine.

It’s normal to worry whether you are doing everything “right” in your time as a surrogate. However, as long as you follow what is stated in your contract and stay healthy as you are pregnant, you will be the best surrogate that intended parents could ask for. If you ever have any questions about your responsibilities, speak with your surrogacy specialist.

8. Be prepared for not everything to work out as planned.

Unfortunately, everything in your surrogacy journey may not work out the first time. It’s not uncommon for a surrogate to take a while to find the perfect intended parents, for the first transfer to fail or even for a miscarriage to occur. It can certainly be disheartening when a situation like this occurs, but know that it’s completely normal and that your surrogacy professionals will be there to help you move forward.

9. Stay in touch with your surrogacy professionals.

It’s been mentioned throughout this list, but don’t underestimate the importance of your surrogacy professionals throughout your surrogacy journey. They exist to support you through the challenges and rewards of the process — especially for first-time surrogates who aren’t sure what to expect. Don’t be afraid to reach out for their assistance when you need it.

10. Take care of yourself.

It’s easy to get lost in the bigger picture of your surrogacy journey – you’re helping to create a family and carrying the dreams of intended parents in your uterus. However, it’s important to remember the basics of caring for your physical and mental health during your surrogacy. Whatever else is happening, make sure to take the necessary steps to keep yourself healthy, as it will be instrumental to ensuring a positive, healthy surrogacy journey for everyone.

Want more tips from surrogates or have your own to add? Consider reaching out to surrogate support groups or contacting a surrogacy specialist at American Surrogacy to be connected with other surrogates like you.

The Truth About Multiple-Embryo Transfers

It’s an important conversation that every prospective surrogate and intended parent should have with their medical professional: How many embryos should I be comfortable with in a single transfer?

Ideally, this conversation should take place well before an embryo transfer — even before someone starts the surrogacy process at all. However, new research from FertilityIQ estimates that 1/5 of all patients undergoing infertility treatments are only educated about the facts of a multi-embryo transfer immediately before the procedure itself.

Clearly, both intended parents and surrogates need to advocate for themselves while preparing for this step of the surrogacy process.

At American Surrogacy, our specialists will help connect you with an appropriate medical professional early on in the process. This way, you can learn about the pros and cons of transferring multiple embryos to make the best decision for you.

Rather than solely relying on one doctor’s recommendation, it’s important that intended parents and surrogates do their own research to learn about this topic from several resources. To help you start that process, we’ve listed some of the basic information you need to know in this article.

The Basics and Risks of the Transfer Process

In every in vitro fertilization process, intended parents will need to decide how many embryos they want to transfer to the mother’s (or surrogate’s) uterus. Usually, this decision will be influenced by several factors, like:

The health of the mother or surrogate
The results from pre-implantation genetic screening
The intended parents’ budget and wishes

A fertility doctor should speak at length with intended parents about this decision, as it’s one that has many different repercussions for all involved. Unfortunately, not all doctors take this approach — instead recommending one path over another, after which intended parents often go with the suggested embryo transfer number.

While each medical situation is unique, it’s important to note that transferring more than one embryo comes with well-documented risks. Carrying multiples increases medical complications for both mothers and children by almost five times. These medical complications, like early birth, can cost parents more money and cause more emotional distress than a single birth resulting from a single-embryo transfer.

Still, doctors may recommend multiple embryo transfers in older women to increase their chances of pregnancy, despite these risks. No matter what the situation, all intended parents should be fully educated about both options long before the transfer takes place.

So, Which is Better: A Single- or Multiple-Embryo Transfer?

It would appear that single-embryo transfer is the safer path to take, right? It may be, but many American intended parents today aren’t following this path.

As a whole, intended parents in the U.S. complete far more multiple-embryo transfers compared to single-embryo transfers than other countries — in fact, more than twice as often as intended parents in Australia, based on FertilityIQ’s research. This is due to several factors.

In the U.S., the cost of an IVF process is much more expensive than the cost of those in countries where the healthcare system is paid for or greatly subsidized by the government. Therefore, intended parents often transfer more than one embryo their first time to reduce the chance that they need to pay for more than one transfer process.

Research also shows that there is no consistent education offered to intended parents among fertility clinics. The amount and accuracy of information will vary based on the doctor being used — which could be a possible reason why so many intended parents choose to do a multiple-embryo transfer early in the process.

The discussion about how many embryos to transfer in the surrogacy process is an even more complicated one. After all, the risks of a multiple-embryo transfer will not be carried by the intended parents but by the surrogate — which should impact the intended parents’ desire to transfer multiple embryos in the first place.

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine usually only advises one healthy embryo be transferred in women up to age 38, because “in patients of any age, transfer of a euploid embryo has the most favorable prognosis and should be limited to one.” Therefore, many surrogates and intended parents will determine during their legal contract phase that their embryo transfer will be limited to one for each transfer process. If it is decided that multiple embryos will be transferred, the contract should also address the financial protections for the possibility of carrying multiples and any subsequent complications.

If intended parents or a surrogate are considering a multiple-embryo transfer during surrogacy, we recommend you speak in detail with your surrogacy specialist and your fertility doctor for more information about the risks and benefits of doing so. The surrogacy specialists at American Surrogacy are always available to discuss your personal surrogacy situation if you call them at 1-800-875-2229(BABY) today.

10 Signs that You’d Make a Great Surrogate

Surrogates are selfless, generous women who give their time, energy and body to someone else who desperately hopes to be a parent. It’s a great commitment — one a woman should only make when she’s sure it’s right for her.

But, if you’re considering surrogacy, how do really you know when you’re ready to be a surrogate? What are some signs that this is a good path for you?

Each woman is different, so it’s important that you speak with a surrogacy specialist at American Surrogacy before committing to this process, so you can understand exactly what to expect.

However, there are a few characteristics that all great surrogates share. Find out what they are below and, if you think they describe you, contact American Surrogacy at 1-800-875-2229 today to start your surrogacy journey.

1. You’re healthy enough to be a surrogate.

All surrogates must meet certain health requirements to undergo an embryo transfer and successfully carry a surrogate pregnancy to term. This includes having a certain BMI, no previous pregnancy complications and no use of anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication. Talk to a surrogacy agency or a surrogacy clinic to find out whether you meet these surrogate health requirements.

2. You are currently raising a child.

All surrogates must have successfully carried one pregnancy already and be raising a child in their home. Having already been pregnant, you are better prepared for the emotional and medical challenges of pregnancy. You will also have a child to come home to in case you experience any emotional difficulties after the intended parents’ baby is born.

3. You and your spouse have completed your family.

While surrogacy professionals take every step to make sure your safety is accounted for, there are certain inherent medical risks of the surrogacy process. One of these is the loss of reproductive organs or the inability to get pregnant again. All surrogates should be comfortable with the size of their family before they start the process, just in case these losses occur.

4. You enjoy being pregnant.

Most surrogates truly love the pregnancy experience but don’t want to have any more children of their own. Therefore, surrogacy is the perfect solution. If you’re in this situation, surrogacy may be the right path for you.

5. You are ready to commit to the demands of surrogacy.

Surrogacy involves an extensive medical process and, often, the whole journey takes a year or longer. If you want to become a surrogate, you should be ready to work with intended parents for that long and understand that your own life may need to change in order for that to happen (for example, taking time off work or being unable to spend as much time with your family).

6. You are an organized person.

As mentioned, being a surrogate requires many different appointments, as well as medication, meetings with your surrogacy specialist, and more. A good surrogate can stay organized and on top of all of these requirements without becoming overwhelmed.

7. Your spouse supports your surrogacy decision.

While you are the one carrying someone else’s baby, your decision will directly affect your spouse, as well. You will be required to attend many appointments, and your spouse may need to take on additional responsibilities when you can’t perform your usual parental duties. Therefore, it’s critical that your spouse supports your decision and is ready for the challenges that may accompany it.

8. Your friends and family support you.

Just as your spouse will be required to take on additional responsibilities, you may find yourself leaning on friends and family members for help, too. Every surrogate should identify a surrogacy support system before beginning the process to ensure she has the assistance she may need for childcare, transportation, house-keeping, etc.

9. You are financially stable.

While being a surrogate does qualify you for surrogate compensation, the manner in which the compensation is dispensed means that you should be financially independent before starting the surrogacy journey. Women who are solely interested in surrogacy for the financial aspect usually won’t make great surrogates; instead, women who understand compensation is an added bonus to helping create a family will be ideal candidates.

10. You want to help create a family.

Above all else, the best quality for a prospective surrogate to have is the altruistic and generous desire to help create a family where there may not have been one before. Indeed, this desire is a requirement for becoming a surrogate, and many surrogacy professionals will ask about this if you’re considering becoming a surrogate. If you, like many surrogates, have wanted to help create families for a long time, surrogacy will be the perfect path for you.

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While these are important signs that a woman will make a great surrogate, they are also just a few of the qualifications of surrogacy. To learn more about whether you will be a good surrogate with American Surrogacy, contact a surrogacy specialist to discuss the specifics of our surrogacy program.

33 Questions to Ask Intended Parents as a Surrogate

Prospective surrogates who are waiting for a match often ask, “What questions do I ask intended parents?”

As you prepare for your initial conversation with the intended parents, your surrogacy specialist will give you all the important details you need to know about them and their situation. She will also help you gather a list of questions, offering suggestions of both what to ask and what not to ask.

Ultimately, you’ll want to ask the questions that you are most interested in and that will help you determine whether these are the right intended parents for you. To help you out, we’ve listed a few of the important questions you might considering asking:

About the Intended Parents

What kind of things do you like to do? What are your interests?
What are your personality types? What do you like best about each other?
What do you do for a living?
What is your immediate and extended family like? Are they supportive of your surrogacy plans?
What are your values? What’s important to you?
If you’re speaking with a couple: How did you two meet? What is your “love story?”

About Their Surrogacy Goals

Why did you decide on surrogacy? Why do you think it’s the best choice for you?
How committed are you to the surrogacy process?
When did you start your surrogacy process?
What are you looking for in a relationship with a surrogate before, during and after the surrogacy process?
What do you want to know about me as a prospective surrogate?
How many embryo transfers do you think you will attempt? And how many embryos do you want to transfer at a time?
Are you using your own embryo, egg or sperm?
Are you willing to get to know my partner and children during the surrogacy process?
What are your thoughts on selective reduction and termination?
Do you have certain surrogacy, legal or medical professionals in mind for your surrogacy?
How do you plan to be involved during the surrogacy process?
Who do you want to be in the hospital room when I give birth?
Would you like me to pump breast milk for your baby after birth?

About Their Parenthood Plans

What kind of parents do you see yourselves being?
What do you plan to tell your child about their surrogacy?
What do you plan to tell your child about me if I am your surrogate?
How else will you incorporate surrogacy into your child’s life?
Do you want to have more children, or will this be your only child?
If this surrogacy is successful, would you consider completing another, or would you use another method to add to your family?
What are you most looking forward to about being parents?

A first conversation with intended parents need not include all of these questions, by any means. Prospective surrogates should choose the topics that are most important to them for an initial meeting, which many describe as similar to a first date.

You will have the chance for more conversations after, and a lot of the detailed, more complicated questions can be addressed during those and during your legal contract negotiation.

For more advice on how to prepare for this first conversation with possible intended parents, contact your surrogacy specialist today at 1-800-875-2229.