Finding the right gestational surrogate is a big deal. After all, this is the woman you’ll be trusting to carry your most precious cargo: your baby. As such, we’re sure you’ve spent a lot time imagining what it will be like to finally meet her.
You’re probably more than a little excited to get this process started. But there are a few things that you should look for before you choose a surrogacy partner. Finding a surrogate that’s in the right location and age range, and meets your goals and desires is great — but for this post we’d like to go a bit deeper.
If you’re searching for the perfect surrogate who checks all of your boxes, here are a few more things to add to that list.
1. She Wants to Get to Know You
Once you think you’ve found the perfect surrogate, it’s time to start getting to know her. Like in any new relationship, you can get to know each other through phone calls, emails and in-person visits. When you talk to a prospective surrogate, keep an eye out for a few things:
- Does she seem excited and interested in meeting you?
- Does she look forward to talking to you?
- Is she just as excited for the process as you are?
- Does she ask about your hobbies, interests and dreams for this baby?
- Does she answer all the right questions?
Any good relationship should be a two-way street. If you think you’ve found the perfect surrogate, but she doesn’t seem as excited to get to know you as you are, don’t be afraid to move on. And if you’re worried about breaking the ice, don’t forget that your surrogacy specialist can mediate the initial contact.
2. She Knows that it’s Not About the Money
It’s not easy being a surrogate. Numerous fertility treatments, a potentially challenging pregnancy and childbirth are all things a surrogate has to ask herself if she’s ready for before taking on this journey. This means that many surrogates are well-compensated for their time and energy.
But with that being said, it shouldn’t just be about the money. The women who choose to become gestational surrogates are compassionate, family-oriented and selfless. Helping someone else finally build the family of their dreams is something a surrogate is truly passionate about. And most importantly, it’s her calling.
When you speak with a surrogate, you should feel like they’re doing this because they want to, not because of how well they’re being paid. Financial compensation is great, but it’s not the only thing that they should be thinking about. If you have a feeling that a prospective surrogate is only doing this for the money, it might be time to look elsewhere.
You don’t have to pick the first gestational surrogate you talk to. If it’s not the right match, your surrogacy specialist will give you some pointers for what to do next.
3. She Just Gets You
Many intended parents feel it in their heart when they’ve met the right gestational surrogate. When you know, you know.
If you can feel it in your gut when you talk for the first time, there’s a pretty good chance that your instincts are right. The right gestational surrogate will have all the qualities you’re looking for and more. You won’t have to worry that your future is in the wrong hands. While there’s really no such thing as a “perfect” surrogate, you can find one who’s perfect for you.
No matter how long it takes, you will find your match. We know that this process is hectic and that you probably want to move as quickly as possible, but you don’t have to rush. Don’t be afraid to take your time. Remember that you can ask your surrogacy specialist for tips and suggestions as you’re getting started.
If you think you’re ready to start the surrogacy process, we’d be happy to help. Please call one of our surrogacy specialists today at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) for more information about finding a gestational surrogate through our agency.