The surrogacy experience has plenty of emotional ups and downs for surrogates. Even though it all ends with you being able to help create a family, it takes a lot to get there. So, it’s good to be prepared before beginning.
Without further ado, here are some of the best (and worst) moments for gestational surrogates along the way:
4 of the Best Parts of Surrogacy for Surrogates
There’s plenty to love about being a gestational surrogate. These are four of the best feelings:
1. Feeling Like You’re Paying it Forward… with Parenthood
A requirement for surrogates with American Surrogacy, like most professionals, is that you must be already raising at least one child. That means you already know what it’s like to be a parent.
One reason that a lot of women cite as a motivator for becoming surrogates? To help people who have been waiting for a child become parents — and for them to know that same joy a surrogate has in her own lives.
Many women love being able to pass on the blessing of parenthood to those who have been hoping to experience it themselves.
2. Working Toward Financial Goals Using Surrogacy Compensation
Most surrogates choose to accept some amount of compensation in exchange for the time and effort they dedicate to their journey. And most surrogates choose to use that compensation toward important financial goals. Whether you’re paying off student loans or your car, putting the money toward your child’s college fund, or using it as a down payment on a home, compensation can be a genuine advantage for surrogates.
But, not just you, either — your whole family can benefit from something your heart felt called to do.
3. A Greater Appreciation for Your Body
A gestational surrogate is keenly aware that they’re physically able to do something that intended parents are unable to, no matter how much they wish they could. This is a loss that many intended parents have to grieve before they even begin to consider surrogacy. The ability to grow and protect a baby within your body is a gift, and becoming a surrogate is one way to use that gift and to pass it on to someone else.
The connection you share with the intended parents’ baby during that time and the connection you have to your own body during pregnancy are also special — pregnancy symptoms, pain and all.
4. The Moment When You Unite a Family
This is probably an obvious choice for “The Best Several Seconds of Surrogacy,” but placing a child into the arms of their parents for the first time is a pretty incredible experience. All the ups and downs are made worthwhile then. It’s the reason why women become surrogates in the first place!
4 of the Worst Parts of Surrogacy for Surrogates
Surrogacy is rewarding, yes. But it’s also tough. There are plenty of frustrations and low moments. These are some of the not-so-great aspects of the process for surrogates:
1. The Medications
The side effects that women experience while taking the required surrogacy medications vary widely, but most women experience at least some. Even if you don’t have any side effects, the process of carefully organizing, timing and administering fistfuls of pills, patches, creams, injections and more is anything but enjoyable!
Gestational surrogates and women who have undergone fertility treatments can commiserate about the general unpleasantness of this aspect of the medical process. Fortunately, it’s all for an important purpose.
2. The Differences in Pregnancy Experiences
Getting pregnant as a surrogate is so different than getting pregnant in the “old fashioned” way. It was likely easy for you to become pregnant in the past but, when you’re a surrogate, there are so many steps, tests, boxes to check and even just time spent waiting and hoping that the transfer worked this cycle.
When you’re in the middle of this comparatively complex process, it can be disheartening and leave you daydreaming of how simple your non-surrogacy pregnancies seemed without all the clinical fuss.
3. Juggling Responsibilities
Not only are gestational surrogates responsible for growing a tiny person — someone else’s child at that — they’re also expected to continue caring for their own children, keep up with their non-surrogacy-related responsibilities and, if they work outside of the home, maintain a career.
Surrogates are superheroes, surely. But there are only so many hours in a day, and the surrogacy process involves more appointments, coordination and time commitments than many people realize.
4. The Emotional Weight
This is both a benefit and a burden, in many ways. Although you know you’ve been entrusted with something amazingly unique, and you get to experience a lot of beautiful moments in your surrogacy journey, this intense responsibility can take a toll. Many gestational surrogates struggle with taking on the emotions of their intended parents, or they may feel personally responsible if an embryo transfer fails or there’s another kind of medical complication.
When you’re so invested in helping another family, it’s easy to become entangled in some of these feelings, even though your intended parents would never want you to. Surrogates also experience heightened emotions due to fertility medications and pregnancy hormones. Access to emotional support before, during and after a surrogate pregnancy will be important for your wellbeing.
American Surrogacy will always be there for you.
Surrogacy is Worth It — Highs and Lows and All
When all is said and done, you’ll probably walk away with more stretch marks than you had before, an alarming knowledge of human anatomy, a lifelong bond with a family you helped create — and an unparalleled sense of pride. It will all be worth it.
Ready to start your surrogacy journey? Contact American Surrogacy at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) to begin.