Category: Surrogates

Whether you are considering the life-changing gift of becoming a surrogate or have already started this amazing journey, these articles are for you.

What Happens If a Surrogate Gets a New Partner During Her Journey?

Many of the women who choose to become surrogates have a supportive spouse to assist them along the way. However, being married or in a committed relationship is not a requirement to become a surrogate. Many single women have become surrogates and successfully helped to bring a child into the world — and you can, too!

The process of surrogacy can take a long time, but we never ask gestational surrogates to feel like they have to put their life on hold during this journey. Single surrogates are no exception. If you have been dating prior to your surrogacy journey and feel like continuing that process, we have no restrictions on you doing so.

If you do choose to continue dating during your surrogacy journey, you may find that you meet a great potential partner after you have begun your surrogacy process. But, this can be a complicated situation — how do you explain your decision to your new partner? How will your journey affect your budding relationship?

Remember, your surrogacy specialist will always be there to support you through your entire surrogacy process, even complicated situations like this one. Building a new romantic relationship and being a surrogate don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but there are some important things you should know ahead of time.

Do I Have to Tell My Surrogacy Professional?

At American Surrogacy, we don’t want to micromanage your life as a surrogate — and neither will your intended parents. However, bringing a new romantic and sexual partner into your surrogacy journey is something that will affect all parties. As soon as your new relationship has the potential for sexual contact, you will need to inform your surrogacy specialist right away. You won’t have to ditch your new partner, but there are a few steps you’ll have to take moving forward.

When you first become a surrogate, you will have been tested for communicable diseases. This is to ensure that the baby you carry will not contract any of these diseases or infections during your pregnancy or delivery process. Any surrogate who is married or in a committed relationship at the time of her screening would have included her partner in these medical checks. If you gain a new sexual partner during your surrogacy, it is no different.

Before you have any sexual contact with your new partner, it’s important that he or she is tested for any communicable diseases or infections. This will make sure you and the baby you’re carrying stay safe through every step of the process. If your new partner tests positive for any infectious or communicable diseases, it doesn’t mean you have to break up — it just may mean that any sexual relationship between you will need to be delayed until after the baby is born.

For more information about this, reach out to your surrogacy specialist or your fertility clinic.

How Do I Explain My Surrogacy Journey to My New Partner?

Now that you know this, you may be anxious about how to bring up that testing — not to mention your surrogacy journey in general — with your new partner. We understand that surrogacy can be a damper on a new relationship, but it’s an important part of your life for a year or more. It cannot be a secret.

Dating while being a surrogate is an interesting situation, and it’s one you should prepare for if you are a entering this process while single. Fortunately, there are helpful stories from women in similar situations; you can usually find them on surrogacy boards and support groups.

There’s one thing to keep in mind if you’re dating while taking the surrogacy journey: If that partner is really interested in you, they will be okay with your decision.

But, how do you tell them about it?

In many ways, telling prospective partners about your upcoming or current surrogate pregnancy is the same as telling family and friends about your surrogacy decision. You’ll want to make sure they fully understand the process, that you discuss your reasons, and that you give them the chance to ask questions. If they seem to accept and support your decision, you may find that pursuing this relationship will be easier than expected. You don’t necessarily have to bring up the idea of screening right away, just as soon as the idea of a sexual relationship seems likely.

Being a surrogate is a relatively short period in your life, but it is one that will affect every aspect of your life — even your dating life. Your surrogacy specialist will always be here to help you navigate these complexities, and there are plenty of surrogacy support groups that you can turn to for more advice. With proper preparation, you can continue to balance your dating life with your life as a surrogate — and be fulfilled in each journey, too!

Carrying for Two Couples at Once: Is it Possible?

Oftentimes, the women who wish to become surrogates are the most selfless, generous women out there. If you’re one of them, you’re probably excited at the opportunity to help intended parents reach their parenthood dreams — dreams they’ve been waiting for years to finally come true.

In an effort to help as many people as possible, you may even wonder, “When being a surrogate, can you have two different couples’ embryos implanted?”

This is a great question to ask, and it shows your desire to assist as many intended parents as possible. However, the answer to this question is always no. Whether you work with a surrogacy professional like American Surrogacy or complete an independent surrogacy, you can only work with one intended parent or couple at a time — for the safety and best interest of all involved.

Why You Can Only Complete One Surrogacy Journey at a Time

If you’re asking, “When being a surrogate, can you have two different couples’ embryos implanted?” you probably have another question when you find out the answer to the previous one: “Why not?”

Surrogacy is a very complicated process — emotionally, physically and mentally. It can be challenging enough to have a successful pregnancy and surrogacy process with one intended parent or couple of intended parents. Bringing another couple into the mix, even hypothetically, can severely compromise the safety of each party and the success of the overall surrogacy journey.

There are a lot of steps required to complete a single surrogacy journey at a time, including:

  • Screening and background assessments for both parties
  • Medical and psychological testing for each party
  • Finalized legal contract (with separate attorneys)
  • Establishment of the intended parents’ parental rights
  • Negotiation of surrogate compensation
  • And more

All of these steps often add up to a surrogacy journey of a year or more. Thinking about adding another couple to the mix? This will not only increase that overall time but also complicate every other step involved in the process. Not only will the preferences and goals of the surrogate have to be considered but the two separate sets of intended parents’, as well!

Every person pursuing surrogacy has different hopes and goals for their surrogacy journey; including two sets of intended parents in one surrogacy journey is logistically impossible.

The Medical Dangers to the Surrogate

You may think, “But my intended parents and I can handle those challenges. Why can’t I carry two children at once and help as many people as possible become parents?”

Completing a surrogacy with more than one set of intended parents isn’t just complicated — it’s much more dangerous for a surrogate like you.

In modern surrogacy (and in vitro fertilization), fertility specialists highly recommend only transferring one embryo to a woman’s uterus. While medical professionals used to transfer as many embryos as possible to ensure success, better screening and preparation allows professionals today to implant only the highest-quality embryo into a woman’s uterus. There’s a big reason for this: Carrying multiples has been proven to cause many more risks for a woman and is strongly advised against.

Carrying more than one child leads to an increased likelihood of:

  • Preterm labor and delivery
  • Low birth weight
  • Gestational diabetes
  • Preeclampsia
  • Placental abruption
  • Fetal death
  • Cesarean section
  • And more

Therefore, carrying two children for the same couple comes with enough risk as it is. If you carry two children for separate couples, you not only take on these risks but also the complication of two different sets of parents having different priorities when it comes to medical treatment.

Don’t Worry — You Can Be a Surrogate More Than Once

If you’re asking, “When being a surrogate, can you have two different couples’ embryos implanted?” we encourage you to do some more research about the surrogacy journey and what it will require of you. This path may seem easier at first glance, but it’s not only more difficult and riskier — but also impossible. You can quickly run into legal and medical trouble if you try to work with more than one intended parent couple at a time.

Fortunately, you can certainly be a surrogate more than once. As long as you remain healthy and meet the requirements to be a surrogate, you can help many intended parents add to their family and reach their parenthood goals. At American Surrogacy, you can be a surrogate as long as you have had no more than five vaginal births and no more than three Cesarean births. This means you can be a surrogate multiple times — just like other women have been!

For more information about becoming a surrogate and finding intended parents to work with, please contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) today.

Helpful Tips for Managing a Relationship with Intended Parents

For most surrogates, the relationship with intended parents is a source of mutual support and positivity. You are each other’s partners in this exciting event! But sometimes, like in all relationships, there are some difficulties to navigate.

Here are a few scenarios you might have encountered with even the best intended parents, and how you can have a stronger relationship with your intended parents:

How to Handle Well-Meaning But Overbearing Parents

Most intended parents have waited for years to have a child, potentially struggling with infertility, miscarriages and disappointments. When so much of the surrogacy process is out of their control, some parents try to control anything that they can in an effort to feel less helpless. This may mean that they overstep personal boundaries, pepper you with lots of questions and concerns, or even try to micromanage how you care for your pregnancy.

Feeling like your intended parents are overreaching or smothering you can be frustrating. But, consider why they might be responding to the emotions of surrogacy this way, and try to stay patient. There are lots of reasons why your intended parents might be a little overbearing:

  • They may have never experienced pregnancy before.
  • They want their baby to be as healthy and safe as possible.
  • They may feel indebted to you and want to make sure that you’re well.
  • Their excitement for their baby is showing itself as nervous energy.

But “helicopter” parents can still be distracting and demanding for you. Try to set clear boundaries, and let them know that you have everything well in hand. Set a schedule for when you’ll update them and stick to that schedule. Showing them that you’re consistent may help them relax and put more trust in you.

Still feel like the parents are putting too much pressure on you? Reach out to your surrogacy specialist for advice. They can always talk to your intended parents about respecting your space and decisions.

How to Handle Distant Parents

There are a number of ways you can feel distant from your intended parents during your surrogacy journey:

  • They’re not communicating consistently with you and you’re feeling left adrift.
  • You’re struggling with physical distance in a long-distance surrogacy match.
  • You’re feeling disconnected from your intended parents because they don’t seem as excited as you.

Sometimes intended parents’ hopes for a child have been crushed before through miscarriages or failed IVF, so they may keep you at arm’s length to emotionally distance themselves in case embryo transfers don’t work, there’s a pregnancy complication, or something else unexpected happens. They may be afraid to hope for the best, so they come across as distant or unengaged.

Being clear and honest about your needs in the surrogacy partnership can help. It can also help to keep checking in with pregnancy updates and expressing your excitement for them. They may relax and feel more engaged as your pregnancy progresses. If you and your intended parents live far apart, try video chatting. Asking about the nursery they’re preparing or telling them about their baby’s movements can help you feel connected, even if you’re far apart.

5 Things That Can Help

In many ways, you’re the expert here! Your intended parents have likely never given birth themselves. You’re the one who understands your pregnancies and knows what to expect. You’re the main player from the moment you become pregnant until the time you deliver their baby.

This means that you’re also the one who will be best at easing the minds of your intended parents. If you think your intended parents are feeling anxious and it’s affecting your relationship with them, these tips can help them (and you) to stay sane throughout your pregnancy:

  1. Be honest with them about what you need. Do you need them to give you some space, or do you need a little more feedback from them? Do you have any concerns or need them to be more supportive of you? Let them know!
  2. Set a consistent schedule for pregnancy updates. Your surrogacy specialist can help you with this. Decide how you want to communicate updates to the parents, and then let them know when they can expect to hear from you. This can give them something to look forward to and prevent them from asking you for constant updates.
  3. Offer to share some of the little things. They might find some comfort in hearing about your pregnancy experience. When does their baby kick the most? What kind of foods does he or she seem to react to? How are you feeling? Many intended parents are interested in getting to know their child, even during pregnancy, so offer to share details.
  4. Keep your promises. If you told the parents that you’d send them an ultrasound on a certain day, be sure to follow through. Staying consistent with what you promise can help them feel more at ease, so they might put less pressure on you. Don’t break their trust with small things like forgetting to send them a scheduled update.
  5. Be gentle but firm about your boundaries. Remember that intended parents don’t have much control at this stage, and remember how that might feel. That being said, it’s OK to be clear and firm about things you feel strongly about. Feel like the parents are overstepping themselves, or like they’re not hearing your wishes? You are all equal partners in this surrogacy journey, so let them know what you’re uncomfortable with and what’s important to you.

Don’t forget that your surrogacy specialist is a great resource for advice. A big part of their job is to help manage the relationships between surrogates and intended parents, so let them know if you need some help.

For more details on how your specialist can help you manage your surrogacy relationship, please call 1-800-875-BABY(2229).

Can You Get Pregnant with Your Own Child as a Surrogate?

Before becoming a surrogate, you likely have a lot of questions. In your research, you have probably come across a fair number of dramatic, sensationalized stories from former surrogates. They may even make you nervous about moving forward with this process.

One such story that gained traction last year was that of Jessica Allen, a California surrogate who became pregnant with twins — only to find out that one of the children was her biological son. Critics of surrogacy took this story as an opportunity to emphasize the dangers of surrogacy, and the fact that Allen had to “fight for her own son.”

Understandably, this story may worry you. The good news? A situation like this is extremely rare and can easily be avoided by following proper protocols.

When you become a surrogate, you will be required to go through screening and assessments to ensure you are physically and emotionally capable of the journey ahead. During these screenings, your surrogacy professional will describe in detail the medical process of surrogacy — and exactly how it will work to eliminate complications like this from happening.

But, how exactly do you make sure you don’t get pregnant with your own child along the way? The precautions to take are pretty simple:

1. You will be on a strict fertility medication schedule prior to embryo transfer.

Before you can even be approved for an embryo transfer, you will need to prepare your body for the process. You will work with your intended parents’ fertility clinic to create a medication schedule that regulates your cycle and maximizes your chances for a successful embryo transfer. Your medication will likely include the birth control pill, which will stop your ovulation and prevent pregnancy in the period before your embryo transfer process.

2. You will be required to refrain from sexual intercourse leading up to and after the pregnancy is confirmed.

This is perhaps the biggest prevention of an unplanned pregnancy during the surrogacy process — and the step that Allen and her husband likely disregarded.

After you complete your medical routine, your body will be hyper-fertile and ready to receive a transferred embryo. This will mean your body is also more likely to conceive if you engage in sexual intercourse. For this reason, surrogacy professionals will require that you refrain from sex for a certain amount of time. This will be outlined in your surrogacy contract, as well. Breaking this agreement, as Allen presumably did, could lead to extreme legal consequences.

If you do as requested and refrain from sex, there is no way that you will get pregnant with your own biological child during the surrogacy process. Therefore, it’s important that your spouse is on the same page with you about the requirements of surrogacy (including this) before starting the journey. Your choice to be a surrogate will impact him, as well as the rest of your immediate family. It truly is a family journey that you take together.

3. Your medical professional will support you every step of the way.

When you become a surrogate, there will be several professionals acting to protect your rights and interests every step of the way. In addition to your surrogacy specialist and your surrogacy attorney, your medical professional will provide the physical and medical support you need during this journey.

Your medical protocol will always be tailored to you, and your medical professional will make sure you are comfortable. They will be there to answer your questions and ensure everything goes as planned — including your pregnancy. If there is any sign that an embryo transfer or a potential pregnancy may be compromised, you will have the support you need.

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So, when you read the dramatic “horror stories” about surrogacy, be reassured that these are very rare cases indeed — and, as long as you follow your professionals’ instructions, your surrogacy journey will be very likely to succeed. You need not worry about becoming pregnant with your own child during the surrogacy process; the child that you give birth to will be the intended parents’, and you will have no responsibility to take custody of another child upon delivery.

To learn more about the medical process of surrogacy, you can always contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).

What You Need to Know About Uterine Lining in Surrogacy

There are many different things involved in a successful embryo transfer, whether it’s a part of a surrogacy or in vitro fertilization process. Therefore, it’s important that all intended parents and surrogates talk in detail with their fertility specialist about the path ahead of them — everything that they should know before starting this complicated medical process.

If you are a surrogate, you may have come across a lot of information about uterine lining in your research. Many surrogates religiously track their uterine lining up until their embryo transfer process, which may make you wonder, “What is the big deal about uterine lining in surrogacy?”

As always, we recommend you speak with a fertility specialist or gynecologist for the most accurate information about what the thickness of uterine lining will mean in your situation. In the meantime, you can find the basic things you need to know below.

What Role Does Uterine Lining Play in IVF?

Every surrogacy (and every IVF) process requires the transfer and eventual implantation of an embryo to be successful. While the quality of the embryo plays a large role in whether it implants in the uterus, one of the other important factors in this process is the thickness of a woman’s uterine lining.

If a uterine lining is too thin, it can lead to failed implantation or even early pregnancy loss. A thick uterine lining provides a safe and welcoming environment for a transferred embryo, making it easier for the embryo to implant into the walls of the uterus. This thicker lining will provide nourishment to the embryo as it grows, making it more likely that a successful pregnancy can be carried to term.

Before you start your journey as a surrogate, your fertility specialist will likely conduct a few tests beforehand to ensure your uterus is ready for this process. These tests will also be completed again before an embryo is transferred to your uterus.

What Numbers Should You Look for in Your Uterine Lining?

Remember, every woman is different, and only your doctor can accurately explain what your uterine lining should look like before implantation. In general, studies have shown that a uterine lining should be 6 or more millimeters for successful implantation. An ideal lining is at least 7 to 8 millimeters thick.

The quality of a uterine lining refers to more than just thickness, however. In order for the correct thickness to be present in the first place, there must be the correct tissue structure, the right receptors within the uterus, and the right balance of hormones. This is why surrogates are often required to take estrogen and progesterone prior to embryo transfer — to regulate the proper hormone balance for a hospitable womb.

You may also hear the phrase “triple stripe” from others going through the IVF and surrogacy process. This refers to the structure of the lining in the uterus. A more receptive lining has a tri-laminar appearance, usually three lines right on top of each other. Again, your medical professional will look for this three-layer appearance before beginning the embryo transfer process.

How Can You Improve Your Uterine Lining?

In most cases, the thickness of a woman’s lining is out of her control. It’s something that is regulated by her own body and hormones prescribed by her doctor. Every body is different, which means that one woman may naturally have a better uterine lining than another.

Before you start researching ways to improve your uterine lining, we encourage you speak with your fertility specialist or medical professional. You should not take medical advice from anyone other than this professional.

That said, there are a few things that may help improve your uterine lining — and certainly won’t harm it:

  • Partake in regular, moderate exercise to get your blood flowing throughout your body.
  • Eliminate or limit substances that may restrict blood flow, such as caffeine, nicotine, seasonal allergy medications and cold remedies to stop nasal swelling.
  • Consider acupuncture.
  • Think about your body weight; extra weight and fat cells can promote pelvic blood flow and additional estrogen.
  • Look into nutritional supplements such as vitamin E and L-arginine.

Your doctor can give you the best idea of what steps might be helpful in your situation. At the end of the day, however, stressing out about the thickness of your uterine lining will do more harm than good. What will be will be — an important thing to learn early on in a surrogacy journey.

To learn more about the medical process of surrogacy, we encourage you to contact a local fertility specialist or one of our agency’s surrogacy specialists today.

5 Gift Ideas for Intended Parents from Surrogates

As a surrogate, you will be giving the greatest gift ever to your intended parents — the gift of parenthood. During your surrogacy process, you’ll likely create a strong personal relationship with the intended parents, and it may be one that lasts for a lifetime.

Because surrogacy is always a partnership, sometimes surrogates wish to honor that relationship with a little something extra. In these situations, a surrogate may ask, “Can I get the intended parents a gift?”

Of course you can! Like you would in any other close friendship, you may think about getting your intended parents presents for special occasions — including the delivery of their child. But, what is appropriate when it comes to giving your intended parents a gift?

If you are considering giving your intended parents a present or other commemorative item, we encourage you to contact your surrogacy specialist at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) for suggestions. Your specialist is the one that knows your surrogacy situation best, which means she can provide the best guidance for moving forward on this issue.

In the meantime, here are a few ideas you may consider as you think about giving a gift to your intended parents.

1. Something for the Baby

You and your intended parents will forever be bonded by the precious life you bring into the world — which means that you both will have a great deal of love for this little bundle of joy. As you’re considering gift ideas, you may think about something that you can get for the baby. Many surrogates enjoy picking out a new outfit, a special toy or something else that the little one will enjoy. Giving this to the intended parents at a baby shower or after delivery can be a natural thing, which can eliminate some of the awkwardness of giving and receiving gifts during the surrogacy process.

2. Something for the New Parents

Many intended parents who choose surrogacy do so to have their first child. This means they will become parents for the first time and, therefore, be responsible for caring for a child for the first time ever. Because you are a parent yourself, you may choose to get them a “first-time parent” kit, or another useful item like a diaper bag, playpen, or more. Think about what you wish you had in advance when you had your first child, and consider gifting that to the intended parents to make their adjustment a bit easier.

3. Something Handmade

If you choose to give your intended parents something special, keep in mind that handmade, heartfelt gifts are often the best to give. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on a gift for an intended parent, should you choose to give them a gift at all; they will appreciate anything that goes above and beyond the incredible gift of life you are already giving them.

A few wonderful handmade gifts include blankets, paintings, pictures, baked goods and more. Think about what some of your talents are, and find a way to incorporate them into a gift that your intended parents will enjoy!

4. Something to Commemorate the Process

When you complete a surrogacy journey with your intended parents, you are part of a partnership that you will remember for years to come. So, you might consider gifting the intended parents something that celebrates the journey you took together. While they will always have something to remind them of their surrogacy journey (their child), there are also some other great ideas for commemorating the partnership you made with them.

People choose to document and celebrate their surrogacy process in several ways. Consider creating a surrogacy memory book of your pregnancy for the intended parents and the child, buying a piece of jewelry or figurine representing surrogacy, or put together something as simple as a beautifully framed picture from your delivery. You’ll always have your surrogacy memories, and these kinds of gifts will help them stay strong forever.

5. Nothing — Just a Happy, Healthy Baby

As a surrogate, you are never under any obligation to get your intended parents any kinds of gifts. After all, you are already giving them the most priceless gift you can. You are choosing to sacrifice your time, body and energy to help bring a child into the world; you don’t have to do anything additional. The most important thing to do is to focus on having a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

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If you aren’t sure about what kind of present is appropriate for intended parents, or whether to give your intended parents a present at all, remember that your surrogacy specialist is here to help. She can provide suggestions for what is best in your situation and make sure that all parties in the surrogacy process are comfortable as possible. No matter what you decide to do, your intended parents will forever be grateful for the surrogacy decision you have made.

7 Ways to Share Your Journey as a Surrogate

Whether you’re just starting your surrogacy journey or you are in the midst of your surrogate pregnancy, your excitement to be a surrogate is likely something that you want to shout from the rooftops. More than ever before, surrogates today have great opportunities to spread awareness of and share their surrogacy story with friends, family and strangers — and you can do so, too.

So, how exactly can you share your surrogacy story? How do you know what to share and what not to share?

When in doubt, we encourage you to contact your surrogacy specialist at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) for guidance. But, to help get your thoughts going, we’ve offered a few suggestions below.

First: Check with Your Intended Parents

Before you decide to share any aspect of your surrogacy story, it’s important that you speak with your intended parents. They are just as much a part of your surrogacy story as you are, and you will need to make sure both parties are comfortable with what information will be shared with friends, family and strangers. Surrogacy is a very intimate partnership; some intended parents may be less likely than others to share their personal journey.

When you first start your surrogacy journey, ask your surrogacy specialist about mediating a conversation about social media and personal information. Your specialist can help you and your intended parents come to an agreement about the level of detail shared by each other. This is an important step in creating a respectful, solid relationship moving forward.

Before signing your surrogacy contract, make sure that this issue is properly addressed by all members of the surrogacy journey.

How to Share Your Surrogacy Story

Once you and the intended parents have decided what to and what not to share with other people, you can move forward with sharing your surrogacy story in the way that works best for you. Which steps you take can also play a part in documenting your surrogacy story for yourself for later.

As a surrogate, you are entering a role in which you have a responsibility to educate others about the surrogacy process. There is a lot of misconception out there about how surrogacy works and, by sharing your story, you can take the steps to help others understand the reality of the process.

Every surrogate is different, which means how you share your story will always be up to you. Here are a few suggestions if you’re wondering how to get the word out about your surrogacy experience:

  1. Use social media.

While it does come with downsides, social media is by far the best way to communicate ideas to a large number of people. If you choose to share and document your surrogacy journey on your social media, you can let people into the intimate details of your surrogacy story — providing a better overall view of the surrogacy process from someone they know and trust.

Social media also provides an opportunity for people to easily ask questions about surrogacy — without having to go far to find the information they want. If you and your intended parents are comfortable doing so, don’t be afraid to share photos, videos, personal stories and more before, during and after your pregnancy.

As you are posting on social media, you can further connect with other intended parents, surrogates and surrogacy professionals by using hashtags. Use phrases like #surrogacy, #fertility, #infertility, #surrogates and more to share your story with an even wider audience.

  1. Use a photo-sharing app.

Sometimes, surrogates and intended parents don’t want to share photos with everyone on the internet — and that’s okay. Instead, you can use secured methods of sharing photos, like Shutterfly or Dropbox or an app like 23snaps. This way, you can share the photos with only the people you want, whether that’s a wide range of family members and friends or just the intended parents. Uploading photos to these sites can also easily document your surrogacy journey and provide a way for you to look back on the experience later.

  1. Join an online support group.

Odds are, before you became a surrogate, you participated in online support groups and forums to learn more about the realities of being a surrogate. Once you become a surrogate, take that chance to give back in the same way — by answering hopeful surrogates’ questions, chiming in on bigger issues and overall sharing your story for those who will most be interested in hearing it. As long as you keep the disadvantages of online support groups in mind, you can share and tell a great deal of helpful information on these kinds of sites.

  1. Keep a blog — or volunteer a blog post.

If you like writing, creating a blog may be the best way for you to share your story. You can start whenever you want in your surrogacy journey, and your words will mean a lot to the women and parents who are considering the surrogacy process. If you don’t wish to maintain a constant blog, consider reaching out to a surrogacy website (American Surrogacy included) to share a blog post about a topic that is important to you.

  1. Share your experiences in real life.

Just as you should be open to answering questions and educating people online, you should do the same in-person. Make sure your friends and family are aware of your surrogacy from early on, and don’t be afraid to bring up your recent experiences during your surrogacy process. Don’t wait until it’s too late; you don’t want to answer the awkward question of “Where is the baby?” after you give birth.

  1. Create a surrogacy memory book.

There’s another important person with whom you may wish to share your surrogacy journey: the child you are giving birth to. To help them understand your surrogacy story down the line, you may work on a surrogacy memory book right now. This memory book can include photos from your pregnancy and delivery, letters you’ve written to the child, and more.

Before you work on this, make sure you speak with the intended parents to ensure their comfort in you doing this — and to see whether they wish to include any memories of their own!

  1. Share your story with your surrogacy professional.

Finally, recognize that your surrogacy story can be incredibly helpful to intended parents and surrogates considering this journey. At American Surrogacy, we offer the opportunity for surrogates to tell their story as part of a testimonial. These stories have been instrumental for those considering surrogacy, and it’s a fairly easy process to complete. To learn more, we encourage you to contact your surrogacy specialist today.

10 Surrogate Blogs to Read Today

When you’re considering becoming a surrogate, hearing from other women who have been in your position can be incredibly helpful. Fortunately, there is a wealth of surrogate blogs available to help you understand the process ahead of you.

Being a surrogate is a unique journey to take, and many women choose to document their experiences and surrogacy stories through a surrogacy blog. It can help them address the feelings they may have, as well as help them connect with other surrogates and raise awareness of the reality of surrogacy for intended parents and others who are curious about the surrogacy process.

Want to learn more? We’ve gathered some of the best blogs by and for surrogates here to help you start your surrogacy research. While some of them may be older blogs that haven’t been updated recently, the information still available on them can teach you a lot about the aspects of surrogacy:

  1. American Surrogacy Blog

At American Surrogacy, we assist both intended parents and prospective surrogates — which is why our blog tackles issues that are relevant to both. We know you likely have a million different questions about becoming a surrogate, and whatever answers you can’t find on our website you can likely find on our blog. If you have any questions that aren’t answered, you can always contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).

  1. I’m Not the Mom, I’m Just the Stork!

Gestational surrogate Kelley recounts the three surrogacy journeys she completed, as well as her own life experiences along the way.

  1. Surrogacy Diva

While it’s an older blog, Surrogacy Diva is managed by a multiple-time surrogate, who discusses her own journey, posts news about surrogacy and answer questions from other prospective surrogates.

  1. Return to Senders

Gestational surrogate Dana recounts her experience being a surrogate from 2013-2015 and her current experience being pregnant for the same male couple in 2018.

  1. A Baby to Share

While Mandy’s story is old, she goes into detail about the different aspects of her gestational surrogacy journey here.

  1. Not My Bun in the Oven

Liz created her surrogacy blog to record her personal journey and help connect with other people who were considering or going through a surrogate journey. Her gestational surrogacy story lasted through 2014 and 2015.

  1. SurrOreal Life

While Beth’s blog stops right before she gives birth to her surrobabies, she does document the whole process of being a gestational surrogate for an international intended mother up until then.

  1. Mommy From IVF

Kim’s surrogacy journey is a bit briefer documented than others, but she comes from the unique experience of using IVF herself to conceive her children and then becoming a gestational surrogate.

  1. Foster Womb

One of the most recently updated blogs, Foster Womb is written by surrogate Sarah. She originally carried for an international couple during her first surrogacy journey and blogged her way through her second surrogacy journey, as well. Today, her blog addresses common questions that prospective mothers and surrogates have about the pregnancy process.

  1. I’m Just the Oven

Chrissy documented her first gestational surrogacy journey on her blog, including detailed posts about the preparation processes before transfer.

If you are interested in learning more about being a surrogate from someone who has been through this process, reach out to our surrogacy specialists. We can help connect you with former and current surrogates who can answer your questions.

You also might consider reading some of these stories from former surrogates:

The Logistics of Completing a Surrogacy Across State Lines

With so many surrogates and intended parents across the country looking for their perfect match, it’s more common today than ever for an interstate surrogacy to be arranged. So, how exactly is this process different from matching with a surrogacy partner in your own state?

When you work with a surrogacy professional like American Surrogacy, it’s really not that different. You’ll receive the same level of quality case management, support and counseling services no matter where your surrogate or intended parent is located. Our surrogacy specialists work hard to ensure that an interstate surrogacy match does not negatively affect your journey, but you will always have the chance to choose the desired location of a surrogacy match.

If you are matched with a surrogate or intended parent in another state, there are a few important things to know about the process ahead of you:

Laws in the Surrogate’s State are the Ones that Matter

Often, intended parents ask, “Is surrogacy legal in my state?” However, the real question they should be asking is, “Is surrogacy legal in my surrogate’s state?”

Because the surrogate’s state is where the majority of the legal surrogacy process will take place, it’s her state laws that will impact your surrogacy journey. Therefore, even if you live in a state that is not surrogacy-friendly, you can still become parents with a surrogate from another state. Indeed, this will likely be your best path of action.

If you are a surrogate in a state that is not surrogacy-friendly, it will be difficult and risky to complete a surrogacy where you live. Many times, surrogacy agencies and attorneys will not work with surrogates from these states.

Once you find a surrogacy match, your surrogacy attorney and your partner’s surrogacy attorney will discuss the applicable laws for your situation. These will be laid out in your surrogacy contract and determine what steps to take moving forward.

Communication May Require Some Extra Work

In most surrogacies, intended parents and surrogates are not located closely enough to be in constant face-to-face contact. Most of their communication takes place over texts and emails, with intended parents coming to the surrogate for important milestones like ultrasounds.

In this way, an interstate surrogacy is not much different. Most of the communication will take place in the same manner (although time zone differences may have to be considered). However, depending on distance, intended parents may not be able to attend as many ultrasounds or complete as many visits prior to their baby’s birth. This does not necessarily mean your relationship won’t be strong; it will just be conducted in a long-distance way and, therefore, may require additional effort.

The distance won’t just affect your surrogacy communication. It can also conceivably make it harder for intended parents to get to their surrogate in case something unexpected occurs.

Before you solidify an interstate surrogacy match, speak with your surrogacy professional about the logistics of your communication and create a contact schedule that both parties are comfortable with.

Consider the Delivery and Post-Birth Processes, Too

On the same note, remember that out-of-state intended parents may not be able to be present right on time for an unexpected, early delivery. However, intended parents do make plans to travel to the surrogate’s state slightly before her due date or induction date. This way, they can better ensure they are there for the birth of their child.

As part of your surrogacy plan, your surrogacy specialists will help you create a hospital delivery plan. This will lay out the expectations of the delivery, including what kind of procedures a surrogate will have, who will be present in the delivery room, what kind of lodging is available for intended parents and more. Even if you are an intended parent coming from out of state, you will still be equally prepared for the hospital stay.

The intended parents’ surrogacy attorney will work with them to ensure proper parental rights are established after birth. Depending on the surrogate’s state laws, a parentage order may be executed before or after birth, or an adoption completed post-birth, if needed.

One final thing to consider about interstate surrogacy journeys is the return to your home state if you are an intended parent. Returning home with a new baby will be much more complicated than your original trip for the surrogate’s delivery. If you will need to take a plane home, consider how you can do so in the best interest of your new baby. Most airlines will allow babies to fly as long as they are two days old, but talk with your pediatrician and evaluate your own comfort when creating this plan. Whether you end up flying or taking another mode of transportation home, make the preparations to safely move and care for your baby during this journey.

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Remember, you will always be able to choose the location of your surrogacy partner, whether you are a surrogate or an intended parent. Our surrogacy specialists can explain in detail how this may affect your wait time, as well as how our agency can guide you through a surrogacy in a different state. Learn more by calling us at 1-800-875-2229(BABY) today.

40 Questions Surrogates Should Ask Prospective Surrogacy Agencies

If you are considering working with a surrogacy agency to help intended parents add to their family, you will have a big choice ahead of you. There are many surrogacy agencies across the country to choose from, so how do you find the one that is right for you as a prospective surrogate?

An important part of this process is speaking directly with professionals from the surrogacy agency you are considering. The surrogacy agency you choose will dictate how the rest of your surrogacy journey proceeds, so you’ll need to be comfortable with your professional before committing to a journey of a year or more with them. Not every agency will work for every prospective surrogate, and you shouldn’t rush into choosing a professional until you are confident it is the right decision.

As you prepare to talk with prospective surrogacy agencies, read through our tips to make this conversation as productive as possible.

Tips for Talking with a Surrogacy Agency

You may not know where to start when interviewing a potential surrogacy agency, especially if this is your first time becoming a surrogate. It can be intimidating to talk to experts, but remember that this is an important step in your journey. These professionals work with many women like you, and they are happy to answer your questions and address any concerns you have before choosing this path.

There are typically three rules to follow when you speak with a surrogacy agency:

1. Get to Know Them Ahead of Time

If you are considering a surrogacy agency, odds are that you’ve perused their website and other materials to learn a little bit about them. This is likely the reason you’re considering them in the first place. However, if you haven’t yet, make sure you do extensive research before you have your in-depth conversation with professionals at the agency. That way, you can tailor your questions to their particular services and program, which will give you more helpful answers and a better idea of whether they are the right fit for you.

2. Request a Meeting In Person, If Possible

Your surrogacy agency will be the professional to support you through every step of your surrogacy journey, and it’s important that you’re comfortable with them. Being able to speak with their professionals in person is a good indicator of their future involvement in your case and will help you better evaluate whether they are the right ones for you. An in-person meeting may give you that gut feeling you are looking for when choosing a surrogacy agency.

3. Take Your Time

You are never obligated to choose a surrogacy agency before you are ready. Even if you have a great meeting with a surrogacy professional, don’t sign on to their program right away. Take some time to consider your feelings, talk with your spouse (if applicable) and do any last-minute evaluations. Make sure you are 100 percent confident before committing with an agency, as it is a choice that will affect the next year or more of your life.

Questions to Ask a Surrogacy Agency

When you’re ready to interview a prospective surrogacy agency, here are some of the important questions you should consider asking:

About the Agency

  1. What is the history of your agency?
  2. How many surrogates have you worked with, and how many successful surrogacies have you completed?
  3. What is a “successful” surrogacy with your agency?
  4. How are your staff members trained or certified?
  5. How large is your staff?
  6. How many other surrogates are you currently working with?
  7. What kind of support do you offer your surrogates outside of business hours?

About Their Services

  1. What kind of services do you offer surrogates?
  2. What about intended parents?
  3. What is your screening process for both parties?
  4. What are your requirements for surrogates who work with your agency?
  5. Is there room for exceptions within your surrogate requirements?
  6. Do you require my spouse to meet certain requirements, as well? (If applicable)
  7. What is your average surrogate compensation?
  8. How will you help me obtain surrogate compensation? Through an escrow account at your agency or through a third party?
  9. How long will I receive services after the surrogacy is complete?

About Finding Intended Parents

  1. How many intended parents do you have waiting for a surrogate?
  2. What is your matching process like?
  3. What if I have already identified intended parents to work with?
  4. How do you find intended parents that meet my preferences?
  5. Where are your intended parents from?
  6. Will you help me create a surrogate profile?
  7. What can I choose about my intended parents?
  8. How long will it typically take to find a match with your agency?

About Contact Mediation

  1. How will you help me prepare for the first conversation with the intended parents?
  2. Will this conversation take place in person or over the phone?
  3. Will you help mediate contact with my intended parents during my surrogacy?
  4. If so, how? How will you assist if intended parents overstep their boundaries?
  5. How do you resolve difficult situations between surrogates and intended parents?

About Other Professionals

  1. What other professionals will I need to complete my surrogacy?
  2. How will you ensure those services come free of cost to me?
  3. Will you help me find additional professionals, if I need them?
  4. Do I have to choose from pre-approved professionals with your agency?

About the Hospital Stay

  1. How will you help me create a hospital delivery plan?
  2. Which professionals will be present during my delivery?
  3. What are your policies on nontraditional births and doulas?

Other Important Questions

  1. What will I be responsible for during the surrogacy process?
  2. Why should I work with your surrogacy agency?
  3. Do you think I’m a good fit for your surrogacy program?
  4. How do I start the application process for your agency?

We know how complicated it can be to find the right surrogacy agency for you. If you are a prospective surrogate, our surrogacy specialists can always answer your questions about our agency for free when you call us at 1-800-875-BABY(2229). We will help you find the right surrogacy program for your goals and needs.