I Don't Qualify for Being a Surrogate, But I Want to Be One: What Next?

Honesty is Always the Best Policy on Your Application

You may be wondering how to become a surrogate if you get denied by an agency or fertility clinic. Read this article before taking your next steps.

Many women in the United States wish to become gestational carriers — and why wouldn’t they? To selflessly give your time and body to help someone else become a parent is a life-changing experience that often brings joy unlike anything else you’ve ever known.

But, because surrogacy is a complicated assisted reproduction method that comes with certain risks, it’s not the right path for everyone. Before you can become a gestational carrier, you will have to meet certain requirements to ensure your safety and the protection of the intended parents’ interests, too.

If you’ve come to this page, you may already know that you don’t meet those requirements. You may be wondering, “I don’t qualify for being a surrogate, but I want to be one. What can I do?” You may even be thinking about ignoring these requirements altogether and finding out how to become a surrogate if you get denied by an agency.

At American Surrogacy, we understand your deep desire to become a gestational carrier and help someone else. However, trying to circumvent the surrogacy eligibility requirements is a decision that will put both you and the intended parents at risk in the family-building process to come. Therefore, if you are wondering how to become a surrogate if you get denied by an agency like American Surrogacy, you need to recognize the reality of your situation and understand that this process is not the right one for you. Why? Read below to learn more.

If you have questions about possible exceptions to the requirements to be a surrogate, please call our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) today.

What if I Don’t Qualify for Being a Surrogate But I Want to Be One Anyway?

At American Surrogacy, we get approached by women in your position all the time, as do other surrogacy professionals. Many women who wish to become gestational carriers may not be aware of the requirements before starting, or they may not meet all of them. Therefore, they talk to our surrogacy specialists to discover whether surrogacy is the right path for them. We always encourage this conversation — it’s the only way you’ll know whether surrogacy is right for you.

While there may be some exceptions to requirements to become a gestational carrier, there are a few non-negotiables:

  • You must have had a previous uncomplicated pregnancy that you carried to term.
  • You must have your spouse’s support (if applicable).
  • You must be at least 21 years old.
  • You must be raising a child in your own home.

There are very important reasons behind each of these requirements to become a gestational carrier. Being a surrogate is not always an easy journey but, when you meet these requirements, you already have an advantage over those that don’t. You have proven your ability to successfully and safely carry a pregnancy to term, you have a child at home to alleviate any confusing emotions you may have after coming home from the hospital empty-handed, and you are old enough to maturely make this decision and do what is best for you.

Many women who don’t meet these requirements ask our surrogacy specialists why they can’t just be a gestational surrogate anyway. Even if you are willing to accept the emotional and medical risks that come with not meeting these requirements, intended parents probably aren’t. Remember, this journey is usually their last chance at a biologically related child, and they will want to work with a gestational carrier who gives them the best chance of success.

A Note About Honesty and Medical Records

Sometimes, women who do not meet the qualifications to become a surrogate decide to continue their surrogacy journey anyway. If you have thought, “I don’t qualify for being a surrogate, but I want to be one,” you may consider omitting or lying about information on your surrogacy applications to increase your chances of getting accepted.

Not only is this move unethical, it is often done in vain. Before you can become a surrogate, you will go through extensive medical screening to ensure your eligibility. This means that, regardless of what your original surrogacy application may say, your medical professionals will use your medical records as a determination of whether you can be a gestational carrier. What may not be revealed in your original application will be revealed in your medical records; you won’t be able to hide the truth from your surrogacy professional or fertility specialist.

Therefore, being honest at the beginning about your eligibility to be a gestational carrier is important. It will save you and your surrogacy professional time and effort. Your surrogacy professional may be more open to working with you, despite small requirements you don’t meet, if you are honest and open with them early on.

Wondering How to Become a Surrogate if You Get Denied By an Agency?

If you apply through an agency such as American Surrogacy and do not meet its program requirements, there is likely a substantial reason why you are not a good candidate for gestational surrogacy. However, you may think about overlooking this and choosing an independent surrogacy path. You may think this journey will allow you to be a surrogate where working with a surrogacy agency would not.

However, even if you find intended parents who are willing to work with you, you will still need to work with a fertility clinic before you can become a surrogate. Just as a surrogacy agency would, this medical professional will screen you thoroughly to ensure you are a good candidate for surrogacy. During this process, they will discover the history that disqualified you from an earlier agency — and you will be denied from surrogacy again. Not only will you waste your own time and energy twice but you will waste the intended parents’, as well.

Surrogacy professionals understand it can be frustrating to be denied when you badly want to become a surrogate. However, these requirements are in place to protect you and the intended parents. If you are denied by an agency and medical professional, becoming a gestational carrier is not the right path for you. Don’t worry: You can still help intended parents through donating eggs, if you meet those program requirements.

Wherever you are at in your current surrogacy journey, know that our surrogacy specialists are here to answer your questions and address your concerns. To learn more about our agency’s surrogacy requirements and whether you are a surrogacy candidate, please contact our professionals today.