In the United States, 1 in 8 married couples struggle with infertility issues. It’s no wonder, then, that the annual IVF cycle volume in the U.S. has increased 70 percent in the last decade, meaning more people than ever are completing more IVF cycles than ever — and spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on the family-building process.
Fortunately, employers have started to recognize the importance of infertility treatments to their employees, and many have started offering infertility-specific benefits to those who need it. More than 60 percent of patients undergoing infertility treatments don’t receive any coverage but, to help you be more aware of your options, FertilityIQ has compiled a list of the companies who do provide the best infertility benefits in its annual report.
For the second year in a row, employers within the technology sector placed highest in the 14 categories FertilityIQ studied. Companies like Facebook and Salesforce offer benefits well over $100,000 in value to their employees, and several employers offer unlimited coverage for employees who meet certain requirements.
The consulting and accounting and banking and finance industries placed second and third, respectively, in an analysis of more than 250 employers who offer infertility benefits in the United States.
For a full list of the factors impacting FertilityIQ’s study, as well as listings of employers by benefits and industry, check out more of the annual report here.
Being an intended parent when your surrogate is pregnant is certainly an exciting time. The baby you’ve been dreaming about for so long is finally on their way, and you’re closer than ever to finally becoming parents.
However, just as there is great deal of excitement for you throughout this process, there is likely a degree of stress and concern, too. After all, you’re not there with your surrogate 24/7, and you may not be able to be there for every milestone that you have been looking forward to.
This will be an emotional time for you, and dealing with the loss of control over your baby’s development and your own infertility struggles can be hard. Fortunately, you’ll have your surrogacy specialist to listen to your concerns and answer your questions at every step along the way.
Still, you likely want to know exactly how you can cope with some of these difficult emotions, especially feeling helpless and out of control during the surrogacy process. Whether it’s while your surrogate is pregnant, or during your infertility struggles or the embryo transfer process, here are some tips we offer to help cope with those emotions.
1. Acknowledge and accept your loss of control.
Surrogacy is a partnership; you will not be in charge the whole way through. Therefore, you must trust that your surrogate will do everything she’s agreed to, including ensuring a healthy pregnancy and lifestyle to protect your baby. Remember, surrogates are just as dedicated as you are to bringing a healthy, happy baby into the world — and are honored and excited to help you create your family.
However, when you can’t be there for the entirety of your baby’s development in utero, it’s normal to feel helpless and worry about your surrogate’s pregnancy. However, rather than constantly contacting your surrogate to find out how things are going, it’s important to give her space and channel these emotions into something more positive. The first step for doing this is to acknowledge and accept these emotions — to help you move forward from them and be more comfortable with your surrogate’s pregnancy.
It may take extra effort to acknowledge these feelings in a positive way, which is why we encourage intended parents to speak with their surrogacy specialist and other infertility counselors to work through these emotions in a healthy way. Recognize that this process may take time, but it’s incredibly important to make sure you’ve moved forward from these emotions to have a successful surrogacy experience.
2. Keep yourself busy.
When it comes to coping with feeling like you have no control over your surrogacy, one of the worst things you can do is sit around and ruminate about these emotions. Just as a watched pot never boils, a pregnancy will take forever if it’s all you’re thinking about, all the time.
Instead, it’s encouraged that intended parents try to go about their lives as normal, enjoying their free time before their baby is born. Stay busy with activities, and give yourself time to do things completely unrelated to your surrogacy and upcoming parenthood experience. The more you try to live your normal life during your surrogate’s pregnancy, the less stress and concern you’ll have about your baby’s development. While it’s normal to have periods of time when you worry about how your surrogate’s pregnancy is developing, keeping your mind and body busy will go a long way to making you feel happier during this process.
3. Create a strong relationship with your surrogate.
With American Surrogacy, you can know that any surrogate you’re matched with is fully screened and ready to commit to all the responsibilities of the surrogacy process. She understands what is expected of her during the process and is completely prepared to give your baby the healthiest development in utero possible.
While this screening can certainly help relieve some of your fears, it’s normal for feelings of worry and concern to still remain. Building a strong personal relationship with your surrogate can be very helpful when dealing with these emotions. When you have a strong relationship, you learn to trust your surrogate at a deeper, more authentic level. You can also more easily set up a communication schedule to keep up to date on your baby’s growth.
Remember, women become surrogates to help people like you reach their parenting dreams — and they’re willing to make this process as easy and as positive as possible for you. While it’s important to establish boundaries and give your surrogate her space, you can create a relationship that’s beneficial for both of you and helps you move past feelings of losing control over your own baby’s development.
These are just a few of the tips that our surrogacy specialists recommend to intended parents who are experiencing a loss of control and constant worry over their surrogacy’s progression. We are also happy to sit down with you and your surrogate to discuss these feelings in greater detail and find a compromising solution that works for you both. To learn more about what kind of support we can offer you through this complicated process, please call us today at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).
When you choose to become a gestational surrogate, you will have the support of your surrogacy professional and your intended parents every step of the way. However, it’s also important to create your own surrogacy support system of family and friends so you have someone outside of the process to lean on, as well.
But, how do you tell your family that you’ve made such a monumental decision, especially if they’re not completely comfortable with the idea?
It can be difficult to know exactly how to explain your surrogacy decision to those in your family who don’t approve of or don’t understand the process that you’re going through. Fortunately, there are several tips you can use to gently introduce this idea and have them support you. After all, surrogacy without any support system will be an incredibly lonely journey, and we encourage you to find support and community in your family from the very beginning of the process.
Your surrogacy specialist at American Surrogacy will always be there to help you navigate these conversations, which have the potential to get complicated and emotionally heated. Because we understand the importance to having a family support system while you’re a surrogate, we’ve given a couple of tips when it comes to telling your family about your surrogacy decision:
Start slow with the introduction of the surrogacy process.
It may not always be best to just come out with your announcement out of the blue. Instead, when you’re talking to family, casually bring up the idea of surrogacy and how cool you think it is. The more that the topic of surrogacy become normal with your family in a theoretical way, the more prepared they will be for when you eventually give them the news.
Logically explain what your reasons are for choosing this path.
When you are ready to tell your family about your decision, don’t just mention you have decided to be a surrogate and end the conversation. Surrogacy is an intense commitment, and your family will want to know why you’re giving up your time, energy and body to help complete strangers become parents. To combat these concerns, make sure you write down your reasons for choosing surrogacy before beginning the conversation, as well as anything else you want to communicate with your family. That way, in case the conversation gets off track or you become overwhelmed, you can look back at your notes to remember what’s really important and what you really wish to communicate to your family.
Take the chance to inform and educate about the realities of surrogacy.
Depending on how much prior knowledge they have, your family members will likely have different understandings of exactly what surrogacy is and how the process is completed. It’s usually outdated and inaccurate knowledge that leads many family members to object to someone’s decision to be a surrogate, so take this conversation as an opportunity to explain how the process really works. For example, tell them you will not be having sex with the intended father, the baby you carry will not be related to you, and your interests will be protected by your surrogacy specialist every step of the way.
The more that your family understands the surrogacy process and how it’s beneficial for all involved, the more likely they will accept your decision and support you throughout your upcoming surrogacy journey.
Allow your family time to process and ask any questions they may have.
Even when you present your family with the reasoning for your decision and the realities of the process, they can still be confused, overwhelmed or shocked at your decision. Try not to force them to accept your decision right away; give them time to consider what you’ve told them and let them come around to your decision. Be available should they ever ask any questions or have concerns, and try not to take any of the questions too personally. Just as you had to go through a lengthy process to decide if surrogacy was right for you, your family will need time to consider and accept your decision. When you give them this chance, they’ll be more likely to actively support you.
Think about who really needs to know about your decision.
Before you go telling your whole family about your surrogacy decision, it’s important to consider who really needs to know. While it’s great that you want to spread your happiness over your decision with as many people as possible, think about the difficult conversations you may have in doing so. Usually, the only critical people that you’ll need to tell about your surrogacy process are those who you want in your support group.
After you have told these people, if you want to tell more family members and friends, feel free to! Just remember that these conversations do take time and may come with some misunderstandings and confusion. You may decide to not tell as many people as planned once your first conversations take place. Whatever you decide to do, remember that it’s your right as a surrogate to tell who you want when you want about your decision.
If you’re having trouble talking to your family members about your surrogacy decision, please reach out to your surrogacy specialist for more help. We know that these conversations can be difficult, which is why we’re here to offer whatever support and advice we can. To learn more today, contact us at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).
Being a surrogate is a life-changing experience. As a surrogate, you will be able to say you left a huge impact on someone’s life by helping them create their family. The process will also leave a large impact on your own life — not just physically but financially.
While many surrogates enter the surrogacy process because of an altruistic desire to help another family, there is also the added bonus of surrogate compensation to consider. For some women, that compensation is a bigger factor than for others. In fact, some may even think about pursuing the process to reach a large financial goal — for example, choosing surrogacy to pay for college.
No matter what your financial goals for pursuing surrogacy, it’s tremendously important that those aren’t the only reasons you’re choosing to be a surrogate. The process involves a lot of sacrifice, time and effort — so it’s highly recommended that you have an altruistic desire to complete this process as well.
Our surrogacy specialists are happy to talk to you about being a surrogate mother to pay for college and whether you’re eligible to work with our agency. However, before you pursue surrogacy to pay for grad school or college, you should ask yourself these questions:
1. Have you had a successful pregnancy and are you raising a child?
All surrogates must have successfully carried a pregnancy to term and currently be raising a child to be eligible to work with our program. For most women who are choosing surrogacy to pay for grad school or college later in life, this is a requirement they do meet. However, if you are a more traditional undergraduate student who has not had a child and is just looking for another way to finance your education, know that you cannot become a surrogate having never been pregnant before.
2. Are you finished adding children to your family?
Ideally, all surrogates are content with the number of children they have when they decide to pursue the surrogacy process. Even though surrogacy is a well-regulated medical process, there is always the risk that the medical treatments you undergo could impact your ability to conceive later on. If you are turning to surrogacy as a way to finance your education but will consider having more children later on, this may not be the right process for you.
3. Can you fit the time requirement of surrogacy into your schedule?
If you’re considering using surrogacy to pay for college classes that you’re currently enrolled in, you’ll need to think about exactly how busy your schedule is before moving forward. Surrogacy requires many doctors’ visits, both before and during your pregnancy, to make sure everything is proceeding properly. This means potentially missing important classes and obligations because of your responsibility as a surrogate. You may even be confined to bed rest at some point during the end of your pregnancy. For most students or those planning to enter college soon, the time demands of surrogacy do not work well with the obligations and responsibilities of their school, work and family schedules.
4. What are your priorities at this point in your life?
Before you decide to be a surrogate mother to pay for college, we encourage you to evaluate what’s important to you at this point in your life. When you become a surrogate, it should be one of your top priorities. Many times, this does not work well with the priority of getting a higher education and having a family — both things that may be at the top of your list. If you have a healthy uterus, you can likely be a surrogate even when you’re in your 40s, which should give you the time to achieve these other priorities before committing to the surrogacy process.
5. Are you using surrogacy to pay for college now or later in the future?
Obviously, one of the biggest questions surrogacy professionals will have about those looking to use surrogacy to pay for grad school or other higher education is when exactly they’ll be completing their education. If you are currently in college and looking to be a surrogate, it may be difficult for you to balance the demands of surrogacy with your coursework. However, if you’re looking at surrogacy as way to pay off student loans or finance future education, surrogacy may be a better choice for you.
As with all situations involving debt, it’s important to think long and hard about the solutions you’re looking into and whether they’re worth the challenges. Surrogacy is a hard and complicated journey, even with all its rewards. Usually, if a woman is feeling pressured into this process because of debt, it will cause even more complications through the process. Instead, it should be a commitment that you’re entering into freely and with a complete understanding of what the process entails.
If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate mother to pay for college, we encourage you to reach out to our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-2229(BABY). Not only will we help you determine if you are eligible to be a surrogate, but we can also answer any questions and address any concerns you have about the surrogacy process in general.
Whether you’re considering surrogacy as an intended parent or a prospective surrogate, it’s important to be up-to-date on all the latest surrogacy news and information you need to know. But, with so much information out there, how do you find the stuff that’s relevant to you?
Thankfully, there are many surrogacy social media accounts out there that curate all of the constantly emerging surrogacy information. When you choose to follow them, you’ll receive all this information straight in your social media feeds, rather than attempting to gather it all yourself.
Keep in mind that because there is a lot of information on the internet about surrogacy, not all of it is accurate or helpful. Therefore, surrogacy social media accounts are a great way to receive only the information that is credible, accurate and useful. You can find social media accounts that are informational and objective or personal accounts of someone’s experience with surrogacy. Whatever you’re looking for, it’s likely that you can find it.
This is just a small sampling of the social media accounts available to you, but some of the ones that American Surrogacy recommends the most, both for surrogacy and general pregnancy health information:
Remember, these are only a few of the social media accounts about surrogacy and infertility that you can follow. Keep an eye out for posts from other helpful organizations, and drop us a line when you find one you think we should add!
When it comes to financing surrogacy, you may be overwhelmed with the costs presented to you as an intended parent. Where are the affordable surrogacy options? What are the options for how to pay for surrogacy?
While it is true that surrogacy can seem an expensive process at the beginning, it’s not as unachievable as it may have seemed to intended parents years ago. There are many surrogacy financing options available to you today to make your surrogacy and parenthood dreams come true — and American Surrogacy will always work with you to help find the financing you need to successfully become parents via surrogacy.
Surrogacy financing may take some foresight and preparation, but when you take the time to locate proper resources, you can and will become parents in a way that doesn’t bankrupt your family.
To learn more about how American Surrogacy can help you with surrogacy financing, please contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-2229. In the meantime, here are some of the more popular ways of how to pay for surrogacy in an affordable manner:
1. Surrogacy Grants
Surrogacy grants are a key resource for many families who are looking for affordable surrogacy options. By providing funds that don’t have to be paid back, surrogacy grants can make a huge difference for intended parents who are wondering how to pay for surrogacy without breaking the bank.
These grants are usually available for families going through the surrogacy process and other infertility treatments and, like other grants, are awarded based on many different qualifications. Some organizations may have different requirements than others, so it’s important to do your research to find out which grants you’re eligible for based on your individual situation. The last thing you need is to apply to a grant program which you’re ineligible for.
Your surrogacy specialist can always provide examples of grants you can apply for, but here are some of the most common organizations:
Journey To Parenthood: This organization offers grants to families going through advanced infertility treatments as well as adoption. Any U.S. citizen living in the U.S. and being treated by a reproductive endocrinologist and infertility specialist may apply. Grant amounts vary.
Pay It Forward Fertility: Grants are available for U.S. citizens who do not have insurance coverage for IVF and are awarded several times a year in varying amounts.
Life Grants: The Life Foundation offers grants to individuals and couples to help with the cost of infertility treatment, adoption or third party reproduction.
Family Formation Charitable Trust: The Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys offers grants for families who can benefit from assistance with adoption and ART methods, as well as financial aid to help children who are in need of placement with a forever family.
Baby Quest Foundation: Grants are provided to those who cannot afford the high cost of infertility treatments like IVF, surrogacy, gamete donation, egg freezing and more.
It’s important to recognize that many of these grants and organizations rely on donations, so if you or someone you know has been affected by infertility and is able to give back, we encourage donations to help other intended parents achieve their dreams, too.
2. Surrogacy Loans
Another popular surrogacy financing option is surrogacy loans. Like traditional lines of credits, these loans must be paid back with interest, so it’s important to find the most affordable surrogacy loans that will work for you and your family.
We encourage you to speak to a financial advisor before you take out any surrogacy loans to pay for your infertility treatments to discover what options are available for you.
Traditional loan options include:
Home equity loans
Loans from family members
In addition, there are financial organizations that specifically provide surrogacy financing for those going through the infertility process:
Many surrogacy professionals may also create a specific payment plan for you based on your financial situation. Talk to your surrogacy specialist today to find out what options are available to you.
3. Surrogacy Fundraising
Finally, another surrogacy financing option is raising money for your surrogacy expenses yourself. There are many ways you and your family can raise your own funds for your infertility treatments, either with simple methods or more creative ones that extend beyond your own community.
Here are some examples to help you start your fundraising process:
Ask for donations to your surrogacy fund rather than gifts for holidays.
Use your skills to sell handmade products (like your crafts on Etsy).
Host a garage sale.
Partner with a direct sales consultant to see if they would donate their commission from a party you host.
Organize a fundraising event like a car wash or silent auction.
In addition to these surrogacy financing tips, it’s important that you start saving for your surrogacy as soon as you start considering it as an option for your family. Again, speak to a financial advisor to determine the best ways allocate your funds to create an affordable surrogacy process for your family. Ask other intended parents for saving and fundraising tips, and don’t be afraid to use all of the options available to you during this fundraising process.
Surrogacy may seem like a daunting process when it comes to the costs involved, but with proper surrogacy financing, it can be an option for you. To learn more about American Surrogacy’s cost schedule and how we may help you find affordable surrogacy for you, please contact us today
Surrogacy is still a new and advancing field and, while it’s a beautiful way to build a family, a lot of people don’t know as much as they should about it. When you’re a surrogate, you’re carrying around the proof of the surrogacy process, which can invite some interesting comments. Sometimes, people may ask inappropriate questions — either not aware of the ignorance in their statements or not really caring.
We’ve all been there, sister.
Here, we’ve compiled some of the most annoying comments that surrogates receive. Tell us if we’ve missed any that bother you the most!
1. “You’ve carried the baby for nine months; won’t it be hard to give them up?”
When you babysit a child, do you feel like you’re “giving them up” when their parents come home? Of course not!
Surrogates know the baby they’re carrying isn’t theirs, so they have no feeling of “giving it away.” Instead, they’re just taking care of the baby in their own womb until they’ve grown strong enough to meet their long-waiting parents in person. It’s just like babysitting someone else’s child — just for a nine-month period.
2. “So, did you and the dad ‘do it?’’
Even though in vitro fertilization is a common way to build families today, lots of people don’t put two-and-two together — and assume that a surrogate must have gotten pregnant the old fashioned way. First, gross; and second, even “traditional” surrogacies don’t work that way. You got pregnant in a lab with bright lights and multiple doctors — nothing quite that scandalous.
3. “Who are the intended parents? Do I know them?”
For some reason, people assume that only celebrities complete the surrogacy process. When you tell them you’re a surrogate, they may ask who the parents are, hoping you’re carrying the next baby for Kim Kardashian West or Neil Patrick Harris.
Not only is this clearly a violation of privacy but also none of their business. Did they honestly think you’d spill all the intended parents’ personal information?
4. “Wow, the parents must be rich. How much are they paying you?”
On the same note, why do people think surrogate compensation is in any way their business? You could be a surrogate for compensation or not; either way, you’re still completing a beautiful, selfless service. While surrogate compensation is certainly helpful, you’re not out to be a money-making, baby-carrying machine. People don’t go around asking about each other salaries; why is surrogacy any different?
5. “Why don’t they just adopt?”
People always have opinions about other people’s families and family-building processes. Couples struggling with infertility also apparently can do no good, whichever method they choose.
In addition to you not being able to discuss the intended parents’ personal details (see No. 3), why should it matter how they choose to build their family? Why didn’t the person asking you pursue adoption instead of having biological kids? Right — because everyone has a choice in how they create their family!
6. “Yikes — I can’t believe you’re suffering through pregnancy for someone else!”
Obviously, you don’t think being pregnant is suffering, otherwise you wouldn’t have decided to become a surrogate. Are some side effects of surrogacy difficult? Sure. But do they debilitate you? No! You enjoy being pregnant and doing so to help create another family is not a struggle for you.
7. “I could never be a surrogate.”
Well, that’s good to know — that’s why they leave the family-making to fabulous women like us.
Handling these comments and questions may take time and experience but, luckily, you have a surrogacy specialist available for any questions or concerns you may have about comments you receive from strangers, family and friends. Don’t forget to reach out to fellow surrogates to help get you through these annoying conversations!
When it comes to surrogacy, there is never enough representation of this beautiful family-building process out there for people to find. Unfortunately, when it comes to representation of surrogacy in pop culture today, many of the references are ignorant, outdated and negative — definitely not representing the truth of the matter.
At American Surrogacy, we understand how important it is to have positive examples of the surrogacy process in the media not only for the children born via surrogacy, but also for intended parents, surrogates and everyone else in the world. Some of the easiest ways to find these representations are through surrogacy movies and surrogacy books, which can help you explain the process and spread more awareness of the beauty of surrogacy today.
There’s still a long way to go when it comes to having a prolific number of books on surrogacy and surrogacy movies available to use, so it’s important that everyone pushes for more options on their own. In the meantime, however, here are some of the positive representatives of surrogacy that you can turn to:
Books on Surrogacy
Many of the surrogacy books available today are targeted toward younger children as a way to explain to them their birth via surrogacy. Many intended parents and surrogates use these surrogacy books to introduce and normalize the idea of surrogacy from as early on as possible. By using relatable, fun characters, these books teach children to be excited about their birth story. They’re also great sources for explaining surrogacy to a child’s siblings and peers.
Here are some books on surrogacy that we recommend:
In addition to surrogacy books for children, there are many informational resources available to help adults learn more about the surrogacy process. Whether it’s for an intended parent or surrogate considering surrogacy, or for curious family members or friends, these books on surrogacy allow people to understand better this popular family-building option:
Unfortunately, much of surrogacy film today portrays negative images of women who choose to become surrogates — with them becoming obsessive, overprotective and unwilling to complete their end of the process and let intended parents take their baby home. However, as we all know, these portrayals couldn’t be farther from the truth of who surrogates really are.
When it comes to finding surrogacy movies, your best bet is likely documentaries and similar films that follow real-life families on their surrogacy journey. These can be great ways to educate others about the surrogacy process and show how beneficial it really is for all involved.
Some surrogacy films to consider are:
The Guys Next Door, which follows two gay couples and the surrogate who helps both of them build their families
As the popularity of surrogacy continues to grow, we can expect more books on surrogacy and surrogacy movies to come about in response. Keep an eye out for these resources and share this blog post to spread more awareness about the importance of learning the realities of the surrogacy process.
Surrogacy is a rapidly advancing field that more and more parents are using to help create the family they’ve always dreamed of. Notably, several celebrities have opened up about this using this family-building process, sharing their stories and helping to spread awareness of the struggles of infertility and the joys of the surrogacy process.
“Children are the joy of my life,” Kidman told the Daily Mail in 2017. “‘After so many years of trying, it was so against the odds. We went through a surrogacy with my second daughter because we wanted another child so much that it hurt. I felt my chances of conceiving again were slimmer and slimmer. And then we got Faith.”
“Meeting your children rather than giving birth to them, it’s as if, um, it’s — suspended animation,” she said. “The gestational experience is gone. It’s as if everything else disappears for a moment, and the world goes silent and — I can’t explain it except to say that nothing else existed.”
Kim Kardashian West & Kanye West
After Kardashian West suffered from placenta accrete during her last pregnancy, the celebrity couple decided to hire a gestational surrogate to bring their third child into the world. It had been a discussion ever since her doctors told her it would unsafe to carry another pregnancy. While she underwent a medical procedure to hopefully reverse the dangers of carrying another child, it unfortunately failed.
Kardashian West described her and her husband’s journey to surrogacy on her reality show, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”
“I can’t carry any more kids … it’s the worst,” she said. “I’ve come to the conclusion in my mind that I can’t carry another one. So now I want to explore surrogacy.”
The couple hired a surrogate in the summer of 2017, and reports have emerged that their surrogate is successfully pregnant.
Harris and Burtka welcomed twins Harper and Gideon in 2010 via gestational surrogate. The fraternal twins were created from one of Harris’ embryos and one of Burtka’s — but neither of them knows which child is biologically theirs, nor do they care.
“I have no interest in [finding out]. We are their parents and I love them implicitly,” Harris said, although he admitted they have suspicions based on the children’s personalities.
The couple used an egg donor to create the embryos, as well as hired a surrogate they were familiar with.
“We really, really wanted kids,” Harris told Oprah Winfrey on her show. “We really had thought it through financially, emotionally, relationship-wise. We didn’t just accidentally get pregnant and decide that now we need to make this work. These kids come into our world with nothing but love.”
After trying to naturally conceive and realizing that embryos would not implant in her uterus, actress Banks and her husband Max Handelman turned to surrogacy to have a biological child. Their son Felix was born in 2011.
“It’s a big leap, inviting this person into your life to do this amazing, important thing for you,” she told Lucky magazine. “But our surrogate is so extraordinary, and she’s still in our lives. She’s like an auntie.”
“I felt an obligation to keep the surrogate’s privacy — that was of the utmost importance to me,” she told Jimmy Kimmel. “This is an incredible thing to do with your life, to give the gift of carrying someone’s child, so I am forever grateful and feel very blessed.”
Latin singer Martin welcomed two twin boys in 2008 via gestational surrogacy. While he had considered adoption, he finally settled on surrogacy to bring children into his life.
“Adoption was one option, but it’s complicated and can take a long time,” he told People magazine. “Surrogacy was an intriguing and faster option. I thought, ‘I’m going to jump into this with no fear.’’
Now that he’s engaged to fiancé Jwan Yosef, he’s considering having more children via the surrogacy process — specifically, a baby girl.
“I want a big family,” Martin said. “Daddy’s little girl has to come.”
In 2013, Fallon and his wife Nancy Fallon welcomed daughter Winnie Rose through a gestational carrier after five years of infertility struggles.
“We tried for a long time, for five years. I know people have tried much longer, but if there’s anyone out there who is trying and they’re just losing hope . . . just hang in there,” he said. “Try every avenue; try anything you can do, ’cause you’ll get there. You’ll end up with a family, and it’s so worth it. It is the most ‘worth it’ thing. I’m just so happy right now. I’m freaking out.”
Whether you’re a woman considering becoming a surrogate or one who has already started the process, it’s important that you find a community to support you during your journey. While you will always have the support of your intended parents, your surrogacy professional and your friends and family, many women seek out others who are going through the same process they are. This way, they have a support system of people who really understand what they’re going through in a way that other friends and family cannot.
Fortunately, there are many surrogate support groups available to you that can provide those benefits. Whether it’s a group online or a group that you meet in-person, having a number of women who are experiencing the ups and downs of the surrogacy journey at the same time you are is an invaluable resource.
Online Support Groups
The most common and accessible support groups for surrogates are those online. While it may be difficult to find a surrogate who lives near you, finding other surrogates online gives you a better opportunity to connect with many women who are in various stages of the surrogacy process — so you have friends who are not only going through the same processes at the same time as you but also so you have women who you can look to for advice moving forward.
Facebook is one of the most popular social media platforms for surrogacy support groups like this. You can find groups for surrogates alone, surrogates and surrogacy professionals, and groups that include surrogates, professionals, intended parents and anyone else interested in surrogacy. Some groups are private, so you’ll need to explain your situation before you are accepted into them.
You can find groups based on your location, but some of the bigger, more general Facebook groups include:
While internet support groups can allow you to connect with a wide variety of women who are surrogates or considering the process, you should always take caution with these online groups. Because anyone with any degree of experience with surrogacy can join these groups, not all information posted will be accurate or helpful. If you ever have any questions about legal or medical processes, it’s best to talk to your surrogacy specialist, fertility clinic or lawyer rather than ask strangers on the internet.
In-Person Support Groups
In other cases, you may be interested in speaking with fellow surrogates in-person. This way, you can create tangible friendships with local women that you can spend time with and lean on for support whenever you need it.
Your surrogacy specialist and fertility clinic may be able to help you connect with other women, who may become your “cycle buddies,” or women who going through the process at the same time as you.
In addition, you may look for other surrogates by searching for local groups through:
Again, don’t hesitate to reach out to your surrogacy professional to help find local surrogates with whom to share your experience and questions. Your professional is likely the best way to find these local women and start your own informal surrogate support “group” or relationship. After all, no one should have to go through the process of surrogacy alone.
To start finding surrogate support groups near you, please contact our specialist today at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).