Finding a gestational carrier can be one of the most stressful parts of your surrogacy journey. While many intended parents choose to work with a matching professional for this step, you may not be sure this is the right path for you. If this is your situation, you may wonder how to find a surrogate mother without an agency.
There is one common way intended parents accomplish this goal: by finding surrogate mothers online.
Surrogacy is unique in that it is a very modern way of building a family. As such, the process has evolved in tandem with the advance of the internet. Many intended parents and gestational carriers work across state borders — even national borders — and find that the instant connection the internet provides offers an opportunity to have a successful surrogacy journey regardless of distance. For this reason, intended parents who want more involvement in their process of finding a surrogate choose to look for surrogate mothers online to find the perfect match.
There are a few important things to consider before choosing this path as an intended parent. Even if you think an independent (or “indy”) surrogacy journey may be best for you, we encourage you to reach out to our surrogacy professionals for more information about our agency. That way, you can better understand the services you would forgo and be responsible for when finding a gestational carrier on your own.
For more information about our agency, please call our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229). In the meantime, learn more about how you can find a surrogate mother online below.
How to Find Surrogate Mothers Online
Sometimes, intended parents turn to online surrogacy groups and forums in hopes that they’ll find a woman online who’s willing to be their surrogate. How to find surrogate mothers online, however, is often more complicated than how to find a gestational carrier with the assistance of an agency.
There are a couple paths you can choose if you are considering finding a surrogacy partner online on your own. As with every aspect of your surrogacy process, it’s important that you research each of these methods to determine which one is best for your family. To start this process, many intended parents choose one of the following methods for finding a surrogate online:
1. Surrogacy Classifieds
Perhaps the most popular way that intended parents connect with prospective surrogates is through “surrogate wanted ads” and surrogate advertisements. Both intended parents and surrogates can create their own advertisements on surrogacy websites (often designed for this very purpose). These ads detail the kind of surrogacy journey you are looking for, with information such as:
- Marital status
- Independent or agency-assisted
- Altruistic or compensated
- And more
You will definitely have gestational surrogacy classifieds to look at, but there are also a great deal more traditional surrogacy classifieds when you look independently. Regardless of how well you match up with a prospective carrier on paper, you will always want to discuss your surrogacy goals and preferences in detail before committing to a surrogacy partner you find online.
You can start viewing independent surrogacy classifieds on these websites:
2. Surrogacy Matching Groups
Similarly, you may find less formal surrogacy ads in online groups designed to connect surrogates and intended parents. These groups are often hosted on social media platforms, and they give intended parents and surrogates an opportunity to present themselves in posts before other group members. Some of these groups may be private, but you can typically find them by searching Facebook for surrogacy groups.
These groups can also be a wealth of information for those interested in the surrogacy process. Members of the groups are first-time and experienced surrogacy partners, and they often share information and advice with each other while they wait to find their surrogacy match.
3. Your Own Network of Family and Friends
You may not have to join specific surrogacy groups or post in surrogacy classifieds to find your match. In fact, you may even find a woman who is willing to serve as your gestational carrier in your own network.
To find a prospective surrogate that you know, you might start by posting about your interest in surrogacy on your personal pages and encourage your network to share with those who may be interested. Many intended parents are surprised to learn that a friend or family member is willing to help them bring a child into their family! Know that if you do find a relative or friend to serve as your surrogate, American Surrogacy offers a cost-reduced program to guide you through the rest of your surrogacy journey.
Disadvantages of Finding Surrogate Mothers Online
When you’re considering how to find a surrogate mother without an agency, you’ll need to consider the advantages that you’ll be forsaking.
- Ineligible prospective surrogates: All prospective surrogates must be medically and physiologically approved by a professional before they proceed with this journey. While surrogates that you find through an agency will meet these requirements, gestational carriers you find online may not have yet been screened. Therefore, there’s a risk that you will find a match who ends up being ineligible for the surrogacy process.
- Risk of fraud and misrepresentation: When you find a surrogate online, it can be difficult to determine whether she is fully prepared to become a surrogate and whether she is interested in surrogacy for the right reasons. Because these women are not required to be screened before matching, they may have the wrong idea of what surrogacy entails or be using an independent surrogacy classified as a work-around for existing issues or complications they have. Remember, never exchange financial information until you have created a legal contract with an experienced surrogacy attorney.
- Longer wait times: When you are finding a surrogate on your own, it can take longer to locate the perfect match. It’s important to be patient; you don’t want to settle for a surrogate that doesn’t feel right just to get the journey started. If you are facing a time crunch in your surrogacy journey, it might be best to work with a surrogacy agency from the start.
- Direct coordination and communication: In an independent surrogacy journey, you will be responsible for getting to know your surrogate and ensuring that she is prepared for the journey ahead. While your specialist would take on this role if you worked with an agency, this will be your responsibility in an “indy” journey. Be prepared for the steps required in negotiating with and screening your surrogate, not to mention the details of the process moving forward.
While there are likely women online who are fully invested in becoming a surrogate, these inherent risks do make it more possible that you’ll experience a surrogacy disruption and a further delay in your parenthood journey.
So, if you’re considering finding surrogate mothers online, we encourage you to do full research and take your time to find the perfect match before moving forward. Remember, if you start looking at surrogate ads and determine that this isn’t the right path for you, you can always work with our agency to find a safe, pre-approved surrogate. If you do end up finding a surrogate independently, our specialists are happy to complete the same screening services as we would for our own surrogates, and then continue with a price-adjusted full-service surrogacy process.
Whether you choose to find a surrogate mother online or work with an agency to find your surrogacy partner, know that American Surrogacy is always here to help. View our available surrogacy situations now, and contact us online to start your surrogacy journey today.