Finding a gestational carrier can be one of the most exciting — but nerve-wracking — parts of your surrogacy journey. Locating the perfect woman to carry your hopes of parenthood can seem impossible. However, there are many women across the United States that can help you become parents; it will just take a little time to find a surrogate that is right for your family.
As with every part of your surrogacy journey, it’s important that you fully understand what’s involved in the process of hiring a surrogate mother before you even begin. If you’re a new intended parent, you probably have a lot of questions about this part of the journey. To help you out, we’ve answered a few of the questions we receive from people trying to find a surrogate mother below.
If you have any additional questions or need more information, you can always discuss this topic with our surrogacy professionals at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).
1. I’m interested in finding a surrogate mother. Where do I start?
Surrogacy is a big commitment to make, and it’s not always the best family-building option for everyone. If you are interested in getting a surrogate to carry your child, ask yourself this: Have you fully researched and do you completely understand the surrogacy process ahead of you?
The first step in every intended parent’s surrogacy journey is learning more about the surrogacy process. It will require a great deal of time and energy from both parties, and you may be unaware of all the steps ahead of you. Both you and your surrogate will need to meet certain requirements before starting, and you should both be prepared to work with several surrogacy professionals along the way. We encourage you to speak with those professionals (including an agency such as American Surrogacy) before deciding that surrogacy is the right family-building path for you.
2. How do I go about locating a surrogate mother?
If you have decided that finding a gestational carrier is the right path for your family, the first step in actually finding a surrogate is determining whether you wish to take an agency-assisted or independent surrogacy journey.
Do you wish to hire a surrogate completely on your own? An independent surrogacy journey may be right for you. In this surrogacy journey, you will be responsible for locating a surrogate mother that shares your preferences or goals and screening her yourself to ensure she is the perfect match. Most intended parents taking an “indy” surrogacy journey connect with prospective surrogates online.
On the other hand, you might choose a surrogacy agency such as American Surrogacy to help you find a surrogate for your family-building journey. When you work with an agency, the intensive part of locating a surrogate mother will be up to your surrogacy specialist; you will simply be provided pre-approved surrogates who share your preferences and goals.
3. What’s the process of finding a surrogate?
As mentioned, the agency-assisted and independent surrogacy paths are a bit different, which means the way you find surrogate mothers will be a bit different, too. However, there are a few common steps involved:
Step 1: Determine your surrogacy goals. It’s important that you and your surrogate share the same goals for your surrogacy journey. You’ll need to consider the type of surrogacy you want — long-distance versus local, altruistic versus compensated, etc. — and then create a surrogacy plan to help you match with a gestational carrier who wants the same thing.
Step 2: Search for a gestational carrier. If you work with an agency, your specialist will identify prospective surrogates for you. If you work on your own, you will need to search for prospective surrogates online and through similar networking processes.
Step 3: Get to know the surrogate. Before you choose a gestational carrier, you should take the time to get to know her. Do her surrogacy desires match up with yours? Do you connect in a way that will inspire a genuine relationship for a year or more? Remember, she will be your partner in this journey, so it’s important that you are both comfortable with the match before moving forward.
Step 4: Create a surrogacy contract. After you have determined this is the best match for both of you (and you both pass necessary screening), you will finalize your match with a legal surrogacy contract. This contract will detail the expectations and responsibilities moving forward so both parties are on the same page.
4. What should I know about hiring a surrogate mother?
Finding a surrogate to travel this surrogacy journey with can be overwhelming at times. There are a few important things every intended parent should know before starting:
- You need to have the same surrogacy goals and preferences. Your surrogate will be your partner for a year or more through a journey full of potential challenges and rewards. Therefore, it’s important that you are a strong team — which means that you share the same goals moving forward. Always be honest about what you want from your family-building journey to ensure you find a surrogacy partner who can help you reach those desires.
- It may take time to find the perfect partner. Because your gestational surrogate is such an important part of your surrogacy process, you’ll want to make sure she is the right partner. This can take time, especially if you are completing an independent surrogacy journey. However, it’s much better to wait for the perfect partner than settle for a surrogate who doesn’t meet your expectations — which can cause complications for both parties.
- You will be expected to pay for your surrogate. Whether you complete an altruistic or compensated surrogacy journey, you should be prepared to pay for all of her surrogacy- and pregnancy-related expenses during your partnership. In a compensated surrogacy, you will also pay for a base surrogate compensation (negotiated in your surrogacy contract). Keep in mind that it may be more difficult to find a surrogate who is interested in an altruistic surrogacy, unless you have a friend or family member who is willing to carry your child for you.
5. Who should I contact if I’m trying to find a surrogate mother?
If you’re ready to start finding a gestational carrier for your family-building process, look no further than American Surrogacy. Our agency offers a matching program for intended parents like you, and all of our available surrogates are already pre-screened and approved for the surrogacy process. Our surrogacy specialists will work closely to help you hire a surrogate who is perfect for your goals and preferences — and they’ll be there to support you every step of the way.
For more information about finding a surrogate with our agency, please call 1-800-875-BABY(2229) or contact us online today.