Current Match Time:
When your surrogate “graduates” to her local OB-GYN, the type of care changes. Instead of frequent monitoring at the fertility clinic, appointments follow a more typical prenatal schedule.
As an intended parent, these appointments are important milestones in your journey. After everything it may have taken to reach this point, including fertility treatments and the early uncertainty of IVF, you want to see your baby on an ultrasound.
Below, we outline how appointment participation is typically handled, how expectations are established during matching and what role American Surrogacy plays throughout the pregnancy.
Can Intended Parents Attend Their Surrogate’s OB-GYN Appointments?
Yes, in many cases, intended parents are allowed at surrogate appointments. However, attendance depends on your surrogate’s comfort level and the OB-GYN office’s policies.
Your surrogate is the patient, and her consent is required for anyone else to be present in the exam room. Even when everyone agrees, individual OB-GYN offices may limit the number of visitors due to space constraints or privacy policies.
At American Surrogacy, we address these expectations early in the matching process. We encourage open conversations about appointment involvement before pregnancy begins and help confirm provider policies in advance.
How Participation Is Decided: Matching and Agreements
Conversations about how involved you can be during pregnancy start during the matching process. When preferences are discussed openly from the beginning, it builds a foundation of trust.
American Surrogacy looks for intended parents and surrogates with similar expectations around communication and appointment participation. These shared expectations are then outlined during the legal phase to clarify roles and responsibilities.
However, what the surrogacy contract says about appointments cannot override bodily autonomy. Your surrogate remains the patient throughout pregnancy, and she decides who is present at medical appointments.
What Appointments Can Intended Parents Typically Attend?
There are specific milestone appointments that intended parents prioritize. These often include:
This is typically the first time you hear your baby’s heartbeat with your surrogate. This detailed ultrasound evaluates the baby’s growth and organ development. It can also confirm what the baby’s sex is. You may want to attend prenatal visits that fall near the end of the pregnancy to discuss the delivery plan.
What Questions Should Intended Parents Ask at the First OB-GYN Appointment?
If you attend the first OB-GYN visit, we recommend taking time to ask the following questions.
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How does your office typically handle surrogacy pregnancies, including billing and communication with intended parents?
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What is the preferred method for us to receive medical updates?
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Are there limits on who can attend ultrasounds or prenatal visits?
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Can we join appointments virtually?
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If the pregnancy becomes high-risk, how would care and communication change?
The OB-GYN’s answers to these questions should give you a clear understanding of your role, your access to updates and how the office approaches surrogacy care.
Attending OB-GYN Appointments From Out of State
Many intended parents live in a different state than their surrogate. While attending every appointment in person may not be realistic, there are still ways to stay involved.
Most families choose to travel for major milestones, such as the 20-week anatomy scan, and join routine visits virtually when possible. Some OB-GYN offices allow you to virtually go to ultrasounds with your surrogate, while others may share photos or provide updates afterward.
As a nationwide surrogacy agency, American Surrogacy helps coordinate travel for key appointments and confirm clinic policies in advance. If virtual attendance is available, we can assist in arranging those options and ensuring everyone understands the plan ahead of time.
What if Our Surrogate Prefers Privacy?
Most intended parents hope to attend prenatal appointments and share in those milestones. While many OB-GYN offices do allow intended parents to participate, attendance is not guaranteed in every situation.
Every surrogate has a different comfort level. She might choose to attend some visits on her own for practical reasons like scheduling conflicts, or she might prefer a more private setting.
If your surrogate prefers you not to attend appointments, you may feel disappointed or worry about being left out. Just know it isn’t a reflection of your relationship or your role as the intended parents. It’s simply her preference for her medical care.
If you aren't attending a visit, you can still stay in the loop. Many surrogates are happy to send a quick text or a photo of the ultrasound afterward. Setting expectations in advance can help you stay informed without making her feel pressured.
Staying Connected Throughout the Pregnancy
Some intended parents feel like they’re missing out on the daily experience of pregnancy. Even if you can’t attend every OB-GYN appointment, connection doesn’t stop at the exam room door.
Many families stay connected through intentional moments of parenthood during the pregnancy. For example, you might record yourself reading a children's book or singing a lullaby. Your surrogate can play these recordings for the baby so they recognize the sound of your voice.
These moments help you build an early bond with your baby while showing your surrogate how much you appreciate the role she’s playing in your family’s story.
How American Surrogacy Supports Intended Parent Involvement
American Surrogacy helps intended parents and surrogates discuss communication preferences, appointment attendance and boundaries before pregnancy begins so roles are clear from the start.
During the journey, we provide:
You will have a consistent point of contact to manage the process and answer your questions. If expectations shift, we facilitate productive conversations to address concerns. We help set schedules for updates and outline how medical and insurance information will be shared.
As the pregnancy progresses, one of the most important milestones you may want to attend is the 20-week anatomy scan. Learn what happens during this appointment and how you can participate.